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Test Drive Meme!

You'll Never Leave the Hinterlands Alive*

Welcome to Fade Rift's very first Test Drive Meme! Use one of the prompts below or make up your own, and tag around! Have fun, try out the setting, generate samples for your app, coerce your friends into joining you.

Maybe the Inquisition sent you, maybe you came seeking the Inquisition. Maybe you fell out of a rift into this world last week and are still just trying to find your feet. However it happened, early fall finds you in the Hinterlands. Tucked between Ferelden's massive Lake Calenhad and the icy Frostback Mountains, the Hinterlands are a hilly region covered in patchy forests and small farms trying to eke out a living between the boulders. Though somewhat remote, the area is rich with game and minerals and home to Redcliffe, a bustling town on a busy trade route.

Lately the Hinterlands have also been full of mages and templars and rifts, all threatening to turn once-peaceful countryside into a dangerous warzone. The Inquisition has set up several camps and sent personnel to try to restore order to the region, unwilling to let it slip into chaos. There's a lot to be done, some of it straightforward killing bad things, some of it weird and nebulous morale-building.

1. In the Deep Dark Hills of Western Ferelden

You have turned the wrong corner, forded the wrong stream, crested the wrong hill, entered the wrong cave. Maybe you are far from camp. Maybe you are in camp. Whatever has happened, wherever you are: you are being chased by bears. Did you provoke the bears? Are they huge? Babies? Fade-touched? Mage-controlled? What are they chasing you away from? What are they chasing you into? What do you plan to make out of their hide if you kill them? What do you think they'll craft out of your hide if they kill you?

2. There I Read on a Hillside Gravestone

The rebel mages and renegade templars have ravaged the Hinterlands, skirmishes breaking out all over. It looks like you've just missed one-- great spikes of ice melt slowly in the cool autumn sunlight and patches of grass and trees have been scorched away. Three bodies are scattered about, two templars and one mage judging by their clothing. You could bury them. Or search their pockets. Or track their friends. Or all of the above, if you're feeling industrious.

3. Won't You Walk With Me Out the Mouth of this Holler

Whatever task you were actually sent out here to do, you are going to be late. One-Eyed Jimmy asked so nicely for your help finding his prize ram, Lord Woolsley. It's been in the family for years, so smart for a ram, it's a good luck charm, their business has boomed with it around, and it's lived for so long, he just can't abide thinking of it getting eaten by some mangy apostate. And then he went and offered you money, too. How could you say no? Maybe you're still wandering, asking everyone you pass if they've seen a ram that looks like it's wearing an orangey-red sweater. Maybe you've found it and are chasing it around a lake or trying to lead it back to the village for your reward. Maybe you've gotten fed up and gotten out your sword to bring Jimmy a new sweater instead and discovered that lucky Lord Woolsley is a demon in sheep's clothing. Surprise!

4. Fill Your Cup With Whatever Bitter Brew You're Drinking

Just because the region's had a rough time lately doesn't mean the tavern at Redcliffe is any less crowded than usual. Bella behind the bar dishes out tankards to refugees and soldiers, scared villagers and angry farmers, merchants traveling through from Orzammar and Orlais and families fleeing the rifts in the foothills. It's packed, basically. The Inquisition has only recently extended its influence into the region, and while some have already seen the benefit-- demons killed, fighting broken up-- others are skeptical.

5. Spend Your Life Just Thinkin' of How to Get Away

Choose Your Own Adventure: hunt game, kill demons, gather herbs, track bandits, haggle over the price of armor, fall off a deceptively tall rock, get lost circling the same hill ten times trying to find a way up to the weird glowing skull on a stick you can see is up there, climb trees or abandoned towers, rummage around in empty homes, run from a dragon, cry over how cute that fennec fox you just shot was, set up camp and chat around the fire, knock yourself out (figuratively, or even literally if that's more your speed)-- the Hinterlands are your ~~Frostback Mountain~~ oyster.

*Yeah, I had this stuck in my head. It's a good song!!

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[It's not often that members of the Order parade through taverns but Zargabaath and his men are in search of someone. A renegade who've forsook his duties at the tower in favour of rape and pillaging. Under the old regime, the Order would simply turn a blind eye to all things foul in favour of upholding pleasantries with the Chantry. Now that Zargabaath assumed command of the tower, such a crime must be be paid in blood. This is why this armored-clad man swings the door open with such violence escorted by two of his own guards.

The Orlesian's fondness for paegentry shows within his elaborate silver and red armor along with the decorative blades at his hip. The Knight-Commander literally earned the eyes of all those present and even earned a few sneers. The Templar are still viewed as villainous to some thanks to Meredirth and other despots like her. This is a fact that wins Zargabaath's scorn.

With just the gesture of his hand, the two soldiers starts combing through the tavern in search of the renegade. The Knight-Commander lingers by the door with a scowl so great that it rivals the moody Qunari's. It would seem that these two men are having a rather horrific day.]

Edited 2015-10-09 01:06 (UTC)

[ "Your own lot is here."

Stannis did not need to be told. He heard the door crash open but kept his gaze forward at the one before him. It is not like him to be in a tavern of his own volition, but he is traveling through the country to make it to Skyhold. This requires him to stop on occasion in unfit areas to ensure that he restocks on supplies and seek out one to know if they have seen a certain mage girl. He does not say that it is his own daughter -- who would guess such a thing -- and those he ask seem to believe it is some Templar on a hunt than seeking lost family. Fair enough. Good enough. Means they see gold in their future if they give the right information. ]

More scum. [ Stannis starts at first. Templars acting like brutes through taverns than what they should. He is surprised to see that it is Knight-Commander Zargabaath. It is enough to have him recant what he said, but only to himself. Pushing away from the table, he hears the cough of the man -- an indication of wanting coin. He turns to drive a dagger into the table first before tearing it loose to go meet with his fellow knight-commander. The man had no information and would lead him in circles for sport. He could see it in the way he eyed the coin purse and saw the deceit clear in his eyes. Let the rat think whatever he like of Stannis. ]

And what reason do you take my role today, Knight-Commander?

[The vibrating slam of the door makes the large qunari grasp his axe, brown eyes fixed on the people barging in. The armor screamed templars and he bares his teeth in a low growl.

Too many of those bastards were rogue villains these days, and Taas was not the slightest bit impressed with this ridiculous show of force and command. They were scaring the shit out of the tavern people, after all.

Glaring down at Zargabaath, he adjusts his grip on his weapon but lowers it slightly to not cause unnecessary chaos. As Stannis gets up and violently warns the 'informant' to back off, he gives that rat a glare as well. Too many dangers right now. This was a violent spark waiting to happen.

He's not pleased at all. It doesn't mean he's about to join the discussion, however. People didn't pay him to talk, just flex his massive arms and look intimidating.

Taas does a good job of that, intensely focused on the two commanders.]

[The glare the Orlesian receives from the towering qunari clearly suggests that he quells his rage for now. He gives the muscle bound creature a somewhat knowing gaze before being rewarded with the Baratheon's presence. It's then that the fierceness of his gaze shifts to something of melancholy, a look Stannis may have seen once or twice in times passed.]

Renegades. [He tells the other as he slowly approaches the bar.] Of my own legion no less. The shame of it all.

[Wearily, he places his gloved hand upon the counter to keep up right. Only the Maker knows how tirelessly this man has been on the pursuit of these rogues. It's going on a solid week now, day and night. While Zargabaath allows his men to rest, he's forsaken it for the sake of catching these vermin. It's both admirable and foolish of him. This is perhaps why Zargabaath looks so worn.]

Too often we play the roles of the villains. I shan't suffer such disgrace.

[He says as he gestures to his escorts. The two Templar nod to the unsaid order and cease in their search. The pair march past the qunari but not without giving the behemoth a curious glance as they go.]

Edited 2015-10-09 13:37 (UTC)

But you would suffer your death if you continue.

[ His gaze settles on the qunari for a time. He frowns as he looks to his fellow commander first before his jaw tightens. The men appeared rested but still dogged.

Fresh blood was needed for the hunt of those that dirtied their Order and he feels just as winded searching for Shireen. ]

Qunari. [He calls without looking to him; Zargabaath should know what he is doing and why without him adding explanation. A pause as he turns toward the man. ] How much for your services?

[Taas' eyes narrow slightly when he's spoken to, about to refuse the offer when the noble he was supposed to be guarding gave him a look. Fine, then. It seemed the man had no problem giving him up just to avoid any kind of further personal involvement.

So the warrior straightens, looking at Stannis.]

Four sovereigns a day.

[A just slightly lower rate for a really good bodyguard, but would keep him with food, lodging and repairs. Maybe some extra to waste on drinks while off duty. He couldn't charge full prize with his hearing issue, after all.]

Keeps you alive and your enemies dead.

[Of course he knew why Stannis would consort with the qunari and it makes sense. Neither of them are fit to go hunting for renegades. Not Zargabaath and his failing health or Stannis's desperate search for Shireen privies them the luxury to be headhunting now. Thus, Zargabaath doesn't voice against this idea but the low rate of this man's services surprises him.]

Only four sovereigns a day? [The weary eyed commander questions with a frown.] Injustice. I'll make it six per day if you wish it, ser.

[That surely is a fairer price.]

Edited (I hate my typoes) 2015-10-09 14:44 (UTC)

Hold on your fairness, Zargabaath.

[Stannis makes a gesture for their sellsword to come join their somewhat private council. How can they be with how both are?

He knows of the Qunari and while he may disagree with some of their methods, they were loyal to their contacts and pragmatic in a way that was different than their human counterparts. Not to say there was not one that broke the rule, however.

His voice would lower as the Qunari would come over. ]

You sell yourself short, Qunari. Why? Of what I know you ask what is fair already even though my fellow knight-commander would happily give more for honor alone. Most may even ask for more due to how we of the Order are at present seen.

So, why?

[The offer was tempting, but he knew his own worth. Taas wasn't the kind to deceive his employers - that's how you ended up with dead charges and a bad reputation.

He moves closer when prompted, hoisting the large axe over a shoulder so it wouldn't be in the way. Eyes on Stannis, he frowns a bit, shaking his head.]

I appreciate it, ser, but I don't do full price due to a battle injury. I can kill a giant on your order but I can't hear you. Nearly deaf as a post.

[It was only lucky that he was such an excellent lip reader. It saved him from being completely useless, and he was able to pick up things from a distance, no matter how quiet it was.]

Ah, you're deaf.

[There's a hint of mild awe in his tone as he regards the bodyguard with a second glance. Zargabaath would've made a grave mistake to pay six sovereigns for a deaf headhunter. The weary Orlseian cannot help but admire this man's honesty.]

Your honesty is unprecedented. Not many would willingly admit such.

Why you can always trust a Qunari. Even a sellsword.

[ Knowing their companion to be deaf, he keeps himself turned toward him. Though, what he says is a backhanded compliment at best. ]

Your lot may decide to kill their employer but your reasons are more just than desiring more coin. Suppose that means I should join the Qun with how I talk but the Chantry only just accepts my presence as is.

[ A dry joke. And he nods. ] Four is fair. But Zargabaath may want to pay you more due to your honesty and character. Will your pride and duty allow it?

Edited 2015-10-09 16:50 (UTC)

[If he finds it amusing or not, Maker only knew. His expression is as still as ever, the only reaction a slight tilt of his head. Taas knew quite well what humans tended to think of his kind.

Whoever was dumb enough to kill their employers deserved an axe in their skull, though. That's not a good stereotype. He'd prefer the stupid brute one.]

How about you see what I can do before you decide to pay for my honesty as well as my blade. Then we all get a good deal with our prides intact.

[Then, almost as an afterthought since not everyone really gave a damn:]

I am Taashath. At your service.

[The quirky smile that touches Zargabaath's lips was brief at best. Only can Stannis's brand of humor come across as an insult accidentally. He gives the other a look that is borderline humored and scolding at the same time.]

A demonstration is usually the best way to tell if we have need of your talents. Though let it be known I want these traitors dead. Their crimes have already been tried and judged.

[The bitterness in his tone speaks volumes. This betrayal cut deep.]

An honour to make your acquaintance, Taashath. As my companion has stated, I'm Knight-Commander Alayre Zargabaath but feel free to ignore titles.

One misses the practice of placing heads on pikes.

[ He stares off to the rest of the tavern. Another joke? Always difficult to tell with Stannis. He does look back to give a tip of head in acknowledgement of the name.

He scowls for a moment at Zargabaath, before adding: ]

Knight-Commander Stannis Baratheon. Do not ignore my title even though you are not under my contract, Taashath. If too long, "ser" will be fine.

I do not make a habit of ignoring titles, Knight-Commanders.

[The warrior inclines his head a bit, respectfully. He's petty satisfied with his lot in the world and doesn't have an issue being polite to his betters. They were the ones with the gold, after all.

It was easier to keep a distance that way, too. He wasn't making friends, he was working.]

...now what can I do for you?

[It sounded like more than bodyguard work, after all.]

[Stannis wins a glare for that last bit from the Orlesain. The urge to retaliate is there but he simply "huffs" at him and leaves it as that. Zargabaath then turns his gaze towards the Qunari with a polite but stern expression.]

There is a group of five, renegades, who betrayed their creed in favor of using the skills we've taught them to harass travelers in these parts. Pray I ask of you to kill these five for not only are they common bandits now but they still wear the Order's sigil upon their backs. Once slain, bring back their swords as proof of their execution.

[Zargabaath sighs quietly as if a burden has been lifted.]

Do this and you shall be paid handsomely and have my sincerest gratitude.

Knight-Commander Zargabaath.

[ Renegades. His own have fled to the Hinterlands. Why so many existed under them? He supposed teaching them to be true Templars caused them to hate him instead. The lesson isn't always right, but things shall be different now. ]

I'll accompany Taashath. [ His hand rests on the hilt of his sword. Tired at he is, he has a debt to the man before him. This won't pay for it, but it will be part of his repayment. He looks towards the Qunari, then. ] Not your contract, but we are not on equal footing. Little to do with your skill as I have not seen it but if they have huddled like rats ... it would be a shame for Zargabaath to lose his money without ever seeing its way back.

[ Another dry joke? Possibly. ]

[The idea of killing renegade templars seems to please the large qunari, who bares his teeth in a slight grin.]

Oh, I can do that.

[He really liked templars, actually. They were like the arvaarad back home, protecting the people from the saarebas and caring for them at the same time. They deserved his respect. What he didn't like were the rampaging bastards who killed everything in their path.

Taas would more than happily cleave their heads.

...but Stannis' words are slightly insulting, and only said respect keeps him from huffing in displeasure. The man may be right, though. Templars tended to be a rough fight, especially when cornered.]

Any special characteristics I should look out for, or am I just to bash in the heads of every group I see?

[At the Taas's question, the weary Orlesian searches under the neck of his armor to pry out a silver-white crystal attached to an ordinary matching chain. Even under the dull light, the crystal possesses an eerie glow.]

All those who hail from my tower possess this piece of selenite as testament of their deeds. The five I seek are no different and would most likely possess it still.

[He hides the crystal under the neck of his armor once more.]

If they do not have it, simply look at their swords. Not many Templar are skilled in duo wielding combat.

[Yes, the five were once students of his who adopted his unorthodox fighting style over the decades. Stannis is probably fully aware of just how deadly these renegades must be to know it.]

[ There is a click of his tongue as he looks towards Taas. If the selenite were more visible, that would be helpful. But if they cleanse the area of renegade Templars -- he squints up towards the bar ceiling -- that is more than acceptable. His concern for his daughter buried because so long as men as the ones Zargabaath are in the area; his duty is clear.

No, what causes the tightening of his jaw is the comment of duo-wielding. ]

Annoying skill that you've taught your men. [ Stannis pauses to bring Taas into his annoyance. The fight will be difficult, especially if the rats bunch. ] It's unorthodox, at best. Not like sheath combat. Not even like that of a rogue doing the same with two daggers. [ A sigh. ] Orlesians continue to make life difficult for Ferelden.

Dual-wielding templars. That's a new one.

[The warrior looks somewhere between impressed and annoyed. The kind that carried around the big shields to not get hit by fire and other magic were fairly slow because of it. Dual-wielders wouldn't be.

He wasn't exactly slow, but two-handed weapons were always a little less fast than one-handed swords. He would have to put on extra vitaar and some armor.

Taas is already making plans. Apparently he's doing this.]

Alright. We have a deal. I kill these men, you see my skills and you pay me what I'm worth.

[A deep sigh leaves Zargabaath. Just how did this come to be? He taught the five too much. If Stannis and Taashath dared to face these Templar head on, they'll be marching into their deaths. The two would do better taking them out one by one than fighting these rats at their full numbers.]

Very well. [He nods to Taashath before turning his gaze to his fellow knight-commander.] This is a debt I shall repay, Stannis. If you lack the manpower to kill these rats, I will lend you my best to assist in the hunt.

You've already paid it.

[ And now he has to admit it aloud. His eyes give a roll like it is a troublesome thing to have to say. One will hope that what he says will be wrong and the rats will decide to not bunch up on them. ]

And you shall make rest here in the tavern. [ The best that Zargabaath has will make the task easier and faster. Also, his comment is not so much a question as a statement. What is going to be happening. ]

[Now he keeps quiet, letting the men battle pride against pride. It wasn't his business.

It was an interesting opportunity, this offer. Taas rarely did bounty hunting work because of his hearing impairment, but a chance to do something other than just stand around was appreciated.

Even if it would be dangerous.]

[That same tired look he gave Stannis earlier is back in full force but with a hint of relief in those grey eyes. As much as Stannis may grump about, one thing is admantely certain; he's a good man. Zargabaath knew this when he first heard his quip against the praise and honours the Chantry doused him with.

"I didn't do it for the Chantry."

A laugh nearly escapes him as he thinks back on that interesting introduction. While some think valor comes in the form of a handsome knight upon a white horse, Zargabaath knows that valor can appear as anything; even as a smart mouthed knight-captain with a sullen eyes and a frown beaten face.]

Very well. [He replies with a nod clearly surrendering to Stannis's insistence. Zargabaath finds it difficult to argue when he has one foot almost in the grave. The man needs his rest.]

I'll tell my men to send word to the tower to give you the support you need. Other than that, I shall linger here for a time.

Test Drive Meme!

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