allthisshitisweird | TEST DRIVE MEME!

Guess.

go on, guess.

Maybe the Inquisition sent you, maybe you came seeking the Inquisition. Maybe you fell out of a rift into this world last week and are still just trying to find your feet. However it happened, early fall finds you in the Hinterlands. Tucked between Ferelden's massive Lake Calenhad and the icy Frostback Mountains, the Hinterlands are a hilly region covered in patchy forests and small farms trying to eke out a living between the boulders. Though somewhat remote, the area is rich with game and minerals and home to Redcliffe, a bustling town on a busy trade route.

Lately the Hinterlands have also been full of mages and templars and rifts, all threatening to turn once-peaceful countryside into a dangerous warzone. The Inquisition has set up several camps and sent personnel to restore order to the region, unwilling to let it slip into chaos. There's a lot to be done, some of it straightforward killing bad things, some of it weird and nebulous morale-building.

1. BEARIED ALIVE

You have turned the wrong corner, forded the wrong stream, crested the wrong hill, entered the wrong cave. Maybe you are far from camp. Maybe you are in camp. Whatever has happened, wherever you are: you are being chased by bears. Did you provoke the bears? Are they huge? Babies? Fade-touched? Mage-controlled? What are they chasing you away from? What are they chasing you into? What do you plan to make out of their hide if you kill them? What do you think they'll craft out of your hide if they kill you?

2. NICE PLACE FOR A SPOT OF CAMPING

If there were an inn, which there's not, there wouldn't be room for you in it. Traveling with the Inquisition means carrying your own bedrolls, putting up your own tents, and sleeping alongside whoever you've been told to share with--no matter how much you hate them or how loud they snore. If you really can't stand it, the alternative is sleeping outside. On the ground. With the bears.

3. A BIG CRAZY LIGHT IN THE SKY

Not everyone thinks the Breach was a bad thing. In the southeastern mountains, a burgeoning cult has taken up residence in Winterwatch Tower to wait patiently for the Maker to reach through the tears in the veil and gather the faithful to his bosom. They're a little kooky, maybe, but harmless, and they're happy enough to share their wine and lager with travelers in the area. The demon-spewing rift behind the Tower, on the other hand... Too bad the Herald didn't close that thing before she bit it. Watch your step.

4. TROUBLE IN THE DEEP

The Carta is everywhere, but it's here in force, occupying dwarven ruins in a chasm behind a waterfall. Inquisition forces have already cleared most of the smugglers out of the hold, but there's still a vault to break into, bodies to loot, and old texts to search through for anything worth adding to the Inquisition's growing archives. Also: darkspawn. Sorry.

5. CHOOSE YOUR OWN ADVENTURE

Hunt game, kill demons, gather herbs, track bandits, haggle over the price of armor, fall off a deceptively tall rock, get lost circling the same hill ten times trying to find a way up to the weird glowing skull on a stick you can see is up there, climb trees or abandoned towers, rummage around in empty homes, run from a dragon, cry over how cute that fennec fox you just shot was, set up camp and chat around the fire, knock yourself out (figuratively, or even literally if that's more your speed)-- the Hinterlands are your ~~Frostback Mountain~~ oyster.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

[ Oh, Christine knows this story well, mostly because she's been the mage in the tree before. Of course she'll come up to help where she can. With a few movements of her staff, she casts Force Field on the bear to hold it in place. ]

You have around fifteen seconds before the spell ends! Hurry! There is an Inquisition camp not far from here.

[ To be saved by a fellow mage is not unwelcomed nor is he ungrateful. But, from many of the mages he's met in the hinterlands a lot of them do not seem keen on helping anybody. Just murder.

Regardless, he has a way of escape now. Scrambling down the tree as quick as he can, he hits the ground and grabs hold of his staff upon the ground. The forcefield like it still yet holds so he makes his way towards the woman. ]

T-thanks for that. I thought I was going to be up there forever. Or at least until it got bored.

[ She waves for him to hurry, and once he's closer, she starts jogging quickly in the direction of the camp. ]

It takes time for them to lose interest. Sometimes they are protecting their young, but others just want a meal.

[ He keeps pace with her, stealing glances behind them to be sure the bear was either trapped or not following. ]

Blighted bears. If it's the last thing I do I never want to come back here. if only because of the bears.

[ Despite huffing and puffing from the exertion, Christine exhales a laugh and nods. ]

The Hinterlands are the favorite place of few. But at least it is not the Fallow Mire, yes?

[ Really, as an Orlesian, Christine is bound by blood to dislike all of Ferelden. Unfortunately, it's produced some of her favorite people, and the Arl of Redcliffe did offer her people refuge when they had none. She's grateful for that. ]

Still trapped?

[ She glances back for a second. ]

Yes, it shall expire soon. Let us be quick.

[ Her rhetoric question does get something of a wide eyed look. That's...not wrong. ]

Much better than the Fallow Mire.

[ Still running, still running and...

ROAR. Roar noises.

Oh dear. Glance back and hey look there's that bear...oh... ]

Run. Run faster!

[ Christine yanks up her mage robes to her knees in order to run faster, but she really isn't very athletic and this is a workout. ]

Nearly there! See the banner?

[ Outside the Inquisition camp is a banner, but also a few scouts milling around. ]

Bear!

[ It's not quite the elegant demeanor she tries to show on a daily basis, because she is a lady, thank you, but when a bear is angry and chasing you, you can't worry about how you come across.

Thankfully the scouts have bows, and they can keep the bear pestered with arrows until Christine safely gets her charge back to camp. Then she'll be able to aid them. ]

[ This is why mages need to wear pants. Running is made easier that way.

He watches the arrows fly overhead towards the bear, trying to at least take it down before it reaches camp.

And Henry, Henry's mind is rushing at the thought. If the bear got too close a lot of people could get hurt.

Damn it, he might've just caused problems for these people that he didn't intend.

So in midrun he stops and turns and points his staff in the bear's direction. It's there a line of ice shoots up from the ground, forming a barricade to slow it down a bit.]

We can't let it get any closer!

[Sorry Christine, he's being noble, brave and stupid. ]

[ Christine skids in the grass and turns, her heart pounding and breath ragged. Ugh, being noble goes hand in hand with being eaten. She quickly places a barrier over him as the scouts call back to the camp that there's a bear. Soon, they'll have backup. The arrows are aimed high to fall down on the bear behind the wall of ice, and it roars in anger and pain. From the camp, several warriors with shields and swords come hurrying down the hillside to face the animal. ]

Here, come back. Let them take care of it, and we will offer support.

TEST DRIVE MEME!

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