iv. crystals (treed by decidedly-not-bears-but-still-bad-things-to-be-treed-by)

So this is, ah, pretty embarrassing, actually. I ran into some wolves and things didn't exactly go as planned.

I'm… sort of in a tree. [ muffled snarling punctuates his sentence. ] I don't think they're normal wolves. They seem to be resistant to my biotics, which doesn't usually happen.

[ ok sure he could've used his fancy new sword on them





...if he hadn't dropped it. ]

I'm near the base of a mountain in the Hinterlands just southeast of a small cabin. If anyone can lend a hand, I'll definitely owe you one. Thanks in advance.

v. misc. (a disappointing map side quest)

[ as it turns out, for all the things space exploration is good for, it's not really the ideal setting for learning how to read ancient, crusty, old maps. kaidan turns the map (which he'd lifted off a conveniently placed skeleton) this way and that, frowning as he studies it. ]

Okay, [ he says at last, though he doesn't really sound like he's figured it out. in fact, he actually sounds a little embarrassed. ] This might sound weird but I think we're looking for a rock shaped like a...uh. Well. See for yourself.

[ he holds out the map, revealing a drawing of a rock (or mountain, maybe) that's totally shaped like a dick. with a big red "x" marked right at the base.

is this really a map? could it be a joke? kaidan has no idea. he's from the wrong bioware. ]