That gets a hard swallow and a hasty look away. It's selfish to want Nate to stay as long as possible despite the Calling, but he's doing it anyway. Selfish, and even dangerous. But he can't let go. Not yet.
"It's not pathetic," he manages after a couple of moments. "Loss never gets easier. I was, I was a mess about Purrelden for weeks. Or maybe that was pathetic and I'm just trying to cover for myself." If he doesn't say that he's watching Nate slip away, it's a little less real. Anders has lived in denial before, about how Justice had become Vengeance. This is just as messy and just as personal and just as much a truth he's not sure how to face.
"War is loss and we have so very far to go still. I wish..." He still can't talk about it, even in a sideways way. The hunt for a cure for the Taint had gotten abandoned a couple of years back due to necessity and that hurts. Even if they'd been close to finding a cure and resumed today, it would do nothing for Nathaniel. It would be too late.
no subject
"It's not pathetic," he manages after a couple of moments. "Loss never gets easier. I was, I was a mess about Purrelden for weeks. Or maybe that was pathetic and I'm just trying to cover for myself." If he doesn't say that he's watching Nate slip away, it's a little less real. Anders has lived in denial before, about how Justice had become Vengeance. This is just as messy and just as personal and just as much a truth he's not sure how to face.
"War is loss and we have so very far to go still. I wish..." He still can't talk about it, even in a sideways way. The hunt for a cure for the Taint had gotten abandoned a couple of years back due to necessity and that hurts. Even if they'd been close to finding a cure and resumed today, it would do nothing for Nathaniel. It would be too late.