"If it were anything else, I wouldn't have! I didn't want to tell you, I'd hoped to leave before..." He can't even finish the sentence, can't even think it. Not around her, anyway. It's all the worse admitting it around her, that he's dying and can't do anything about it. He has no chance now. He... has no hope left. Nothing. He thinks about all those letters he's been writing in vein. He should have shown her them earlier, but it's too late. He can't show her his feelings only to die on her soon after.

"Maybe heading to the Deep Roads still isn't such a bad plan, when... the time comes, I..." He can't say anything more. he just wraps his arms around her, hearing that uncharacteristic sound hurts more than he can say. "I'm sorry, I'm sorry... I'm so sorry..."