allthisshitisweird | TEST DRIVE MEME!

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TEST DRIVE MEME!

I ROLL TO SEDUCE THE BEAR

Tucked between the massive Lake Calenhad and the icy Frostback Mountains in Ferelden’s chilly, hilly south, the Hinterlands are a region covered in patchy forests, small farms, and a bustling fishing village called Redcliffe. The region was recently the frontline of a war between mages and Templars, but the Inquisition’s military presence has restored order and is now focused on helping the locals and influx of refugees rebuild their lives. Whether you’re a recent recruit or a hardened veteran, a Fereldan local or someone who recently fell out of a rift from another world, you may be asked to go lend a hand.

I. FLOODS

A burst of unseasonably warm weather (in no way inspired by real life events) is initially greeted with relief, gloves discarded and scarves unwrapped—but followed within the week by severe flooding across the region. Maybe you’re sent out to help debris from a road or collect the bodies of those swept away. Or maybe you’re less lucky and instead there when the waters come, shepherding refugees to higher ground, or caught riding in the flow on a dislodged roof or log. Maybe there’s a bear on the roof with you.

II. TREASURE HUNTS

Given the lack of banks and lockboxes, when the people here have something they value, they often hide it—under the ground, in a tree, behind a waterfall. So here you are, with a sketch of some landmarks found on a body, trying to find… something. If you find it, it might be useful: weapons, runes, a stash of supplies. Or it might be someone’s box of racy letters and a request to deliver them to a now-married woman who will slap you on delivery.

III. BEARS

You have turned the wrong corner, forded the wrong stream, crested the wrong hill, entered the wrong cave. Maybe you are far from camp. Maybe you are in camp. Whatever has happened, wherever you are: you are being chased by bears. Did you provoke the bears? Are they huge? Babies? Fade-touched? Mage-controlled? What are they chasing you away from? What are they chasing you into? What do you plan to make out of their hide if you kill them? What do you think they'll craft out of your hide if they kill you?

IV. CRYSTALS

Members and trusted agents of the Inquisition are given access to one of the Inquisition's stores of ancient, mysterious sending crystals, allowing them to communicate instantaneously by voice. It's magic. And a magical excuse to ask everyone what their favorite constellation is in the middle of the night.

Or to call for help because you've been treed by bears.

Either way.

V. MISCELLANEOUS

Choose your own adventure! Hunt game, kill demons, gather herbs, track bandits, haggle over the price of armor, fall off a deceptively tall rock, get lost circling the same hill ten times trying to find a way up to the weird glowing skull on a stick you can see is up there, climb trees or abandoned towers, rummage around in empty homes, run from a dragon, cry over how cute that fennec fox you just shot was, set up camp and chat around the fire, knock yourself out (figuratively, or even literally if that's more your speed)—the Hinterlands are your Frostback Mountain oyster.

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[ooc: Thedas needs someone who is completely dedicated to it at the sacrifice of everything else - including trying to assassinate royalty. Note: I'm hesitantly considering AUing him into the setting, but I'm open to how/what he'd be, so if you want to play with that, or have ideas, I can write a starter for that, since these are Rifter starters.]

IV. Crystals
[The Cardinal is a man used to people listening to him and more importantly obeying him. He's also a man used to being in charge.]

I have attempted to gain knowledge of this place, however I am quite confused as to why the Inquisition would find itself in league with the Devil himself by aligning with these so-called mages.

[He's from a time when the Spanish Inquisition was quite active and he himself has presided over several witch-craft trials. To say the man is confused would be an understatement.]

V. Miscellaneous
The Cardinal had been here several days and was trying to figure out how best to align himself. He was thinking these 'Templar' types were similar to his own Red Guards. At the very least, he might be able to get information from them. He was used to holding the power of all of France.

When he had been brought here, the Queen had announced she was with child. But, the Cardinal knew that she had betrayed the King in a manner worse than how he (the Cardinal) had betrayed her. She was thought to be barren, so she needed to be killed. Who could have known it was the King who was sterile? Though, now that it had been announced, all he had to do was get rid of Aramis....

He had to return. He had too much work to do. This complicated matters of state far more than he was comfortable with. He was also tired of what little he had here... He needed something more and needed it now. To anyone who looked somewhat in the know, he would ask several questions, because he needed to know how best to connect with those in charge. He needed to establish his network of spies. So, his questions might seem benign. The sort of questions any Rifter might ask. Except, they were pointed as well. They tried to get to the heart of the power structure in this place.

"But most importantly: who is in charge?"

1. FLOODS

[A wet Prompto is a sad looking Prompto. The poor guy got caught in a swift moving current when he attempted to cross, clearly underestimating how deep the water is and the power of the current. He's managed to climb atop a large rock in the middle of the river, out of the cold water, but now he's stuck. He knows if he tries again, he'll just get swept away to who knows where and probably drown. And he's cold. And hungry.

By luck, he spots someone nearby. He shouts at the top of his lungs, hoping to rise above the roar of the river:]

H - Hey! Can you toss me a rope or something? Please?

[Someone take pity on the poor schmuck.]

3. BEARS

[He really does have some shitty luck.

Prompto's gone and run into the area's favorite brand of resident, aka the indomitable, relentless, angry bear. He made the mistake of... honestly he's not even sure WHAT he did to piss off the bear. Smell funny, or something.

So for whatever reason, he's now found himself face to face with a snarling bear who's making her way towards him.]

N - Nice bear. I'm just gonna - how about I go this way and leave you alone? You get some peace and quiet, and I get to keep my organs inside my body.

[Nope, she's not having it. She-bear roars angrily before charging straight at him.]

V. Miscellaneous - Archery Practice (More Like Archery Fail)

[Prompto's a good shot... with a gun. Bow and arrow, though? Not so much. But as far as he can tell, he's stuck with one for the foreseeable future. So he's set up a little practice area for himself, taking aim at a bullseye he's carved into a tree.

He knows how to aim, to his credit, but the issue is more with being able to hold the arrow still long enough to get a shot. The weapon feels clumsy in his hands, and the arrow keeps falling over.

When he does manage to fire one, it either falls too short or it goes way past where he wants to hit it. After several attempts, he groans and drops the bow, rubbing his sore fingers.]

Guess I'm not good at the self-teaching thing.

Edited (woops new prompts) 2017-02-26 21:36 (UTC)

[Fran kept her watch at a distance, not trusting the humes of this world overly much. They seeme to have a very backwards way about them when it came those who were different, even among people of their own lands. Nary a day would come when the word "rabbit" would be an insult, or so she thought. Not that such insults were lobbed at her, but at the smaller looking humes with tapered ears.

No, she had been erred for a demon for her own unusual ears, in spite of her appearance being more similar to that of the humes and not of those creatures that joined them in the green. Her body had been made more so by the excursion to this world, having noticed a few hanges that she is yet still adapting to. Her ears, however, were easily hidden albeit uncomfortably so, beneath a cowl and cloak.

No need to panic the humes any more than necessary, alone they have intelligence, in numbers they inclined towards losing their heads. No need to startle this one further.]

Perhaps not, but the bow is an artist's weapon, its technique is ground-up. It is unique among long ranged weapons [Fran's voice is calm, but her accent is foreign, even for this world] the most important first step is knowing which eye you aim with, it will determine what handedness you are with a bow...it could be that you are using a right-handed bow when you should be using a left-handed bow. Your archery equipment should end up agreeing with your dominate eye.

Are magicks not a powerful tool when aimed at a target that is suitable? They could easily aim their gifts at us I should think.

[Arcane magicks in her world work somewhat differently, though some things look similar enough to pass for what she recalled from her own experiences. She could no longer use them, not here, but she knew how useful these arcane talents could truly be.]

Powerful or not. They are the work of Satan himself. Proper protection only comes from the Church and Christ who is at the head.

[Cardinal. In matters of faith and spirit, he defers to the Church.]

Edited (html grrr) 2017-02-27 02:53 (UTC)

Over here!

[As the bear charges, two others join the fray. In an attempt to distract the bear from the lone human, a slight elven woman summons a boulder from the Fade and smashes it into her target. While this happens, her war hound charges, those large jaws ready to clamp down the moment he's within reach.]

Oddities such as this do not exist on Ivalice so I know nothing of your Satan, Church, and Christ.

[It sounds oppressive.]

"Of what?" Tovias is probably not the most reliable source of information, but if there's one thing he's learned so far, it's that near no one else with the glowing green marks knows fuckall about the world around them. It'd be spooky if it weren't useful. "The Inquisition? I reckon you'd have to name which part."

He shoves his hands in his pockets, eyes Richelieu seriously. He's cleaned up a bit since his unhappy arrival, has even bothered to shave. Squint and he might almost look reputable.

"Big, international organization, and all."

Edited 2017-02-27 03:43 (UTC)

[It's only oppressive if you're not the Cardinal.]

You do not know Christ or God? Well. I may be able to assist you in that.

"The Inquisition. Thedas in general. I need someone who actually possesses some knowledge of the workings of this place. Surely there is some form of government here."

One that he can influence. He doesn't want to hold a clerical post (pun intended). He would much rather be a guiding influence.

"Came to the right place then, didn't you?"

"Inquisition’s got three advisors at the top-top," He motions one hand over the other. "And we’re somewhere down here."

One hands droops dismally, waving like a windblown leaf towards the floor.

"Of course that's just the way it goes, ain't it? Ferelden’s got a queen — that’s where we are. Ferelden." Close towards the border, really, but if Orlais wants to duke it out for this frozen shitheap, he wishes them only the best of luck dying in the snow. "And if you spit you’ll hit a lord of this swamp or that."

That’s generalizing. Probably some Fereldens are also lords of bogs, or soggy, rain-filled ditches. It’s a diverse nation.

"And would you know the names of these three advisors? Do they just advise the Inquisition or do they advice the royalty? How do they maintain control of," he swallows thickly, "us."

That hurt to say. He almost said 'peasants' but he is anything but a peasant, so this was a less painful manner to put it. He is becoming less confidant about this man talking to him. Because he's not getting the answers he wants.

"Figure they advise each other, mostly. Inquisition does what it wants." For however long that lasts. "Cassandra Pentaghast's one of them, anyway. Nevarran."

He hums a little to himself, glances up. It’s close as he’ll come to a swoon. He's seen the drawings; lady's a dream of a scowl.

"Then the Nightingale," Probably the only Orlesian he won't insult. He likes to keep his skin. "And some Templar Marcher."

Tovias glances aside with a small shrug.

"Could walk out right now and no one'd stop you, I reckon. But it's a long walk, and they'll feed those that stick around."

[She would assume as much.]

Your God and Christ, I fear, would take no heed of me in spite of your assistance. It would not be for lack of trying, my kind are far removed from the religion of Ivalice and the Church of Glabados as well.

[There is that and then there is her fondness for magicks and mystic arts.]

Floods
Come on, come on, quickly now! [The Doctor calls out to the small group of refugees he's shepherding to higher ground.] That water isn't going to slow down for our sake, and I've a feeling that there's worse to come very soon.

[He hasn't any idea how he came to be here, but it's a problem for a later time. Right now there are people, frightened and soaked people, who need all the help they can get in getting to higher ground and that's all that matters to him. He doubles back, darting to the rear of the group to check their progress and ensure no one falls behind, and thinks that they're actually doing rather well when he hears it. A rushing, roaring noise that's just on the edge of hearing but rapidly getting closer.]

Alright no one panic, but perhaps we should pick up the pace a little--

[He's barely gotten the words out when they see it, a rush of water heading towards them all, and while most of the group is out of it's range, he can see a young mother, trying her best to keep up with a child held tight in her arms, isn't going to make it above the water line. It's one of those choices which there's really no choice at all, and the Doctor grabs for them both, calling out to one of the others ahead before all but bodily tossing them to waiting arms. They barely clear the edge of the waters, but they make it, and he takes that bit of relief before the wave slams into him instead. Then everything is churning, murky water and muck, things that slam into him and leave his head ringing, and it's all the Doctor can do to grab onto a log and cling to it, keeping an eye out for possible rescue or anyone else who might need a log to cling to as well.]

Crystals
[It's a warm night and mercifully free of flooding, and the Doctor is curious about the crystals and the rather fascinating details he's learned about the world he's in so far.]

From what I've been told already, these crystals are a type of magic, yes? And magic is something that some people here have and others don't? So what exactly is this magic like? How does it work and what does it do? I can't say I've ever seen real magic before, but I'm always open to new experiences.

II. Treasure Hunts

One could say that Oghren was the one who had decided to go on this treasure hunt or one could just say that he'd been told he was getting booze out of it. Either way most of the location finding was left to you because he was more of the swinging his weapon at things type. (Yes, this was referring to his axe even if he could tell you his other 'weapon' was very impressive.)

Still, partway through the journey it would be easy to see a stupid grin on his face and sometimes a childish chuckling could be heard. Prompted or not, he finally looked over.

"Imagine if the treasure was some lady's knickers." Yep. That was what he'd been thinking about this whole time. What if the treasure happened to be lady's underwear. Why did you decide to go on this venture with him again?

III. Bears

Now this was something more his style. Hitting things with his axe always got his heart pounding and he had that thing off his back the moment he saw the big creature heading his way. Honestly he wasn't entirely sure how he'd gotten over here but he was pretty sure it had something to do with booze and bets. Yeah, that seemed the likely culprit.

"I was gettin' a craving for some roasted bear on a spit. Come here and taste my axe and then we'll see how much meat you got on you." He gave a little laugh as he swayed a bit, axe at the ready. "Some good bear goes good with some piss ale. Makes the tough meat almost juicy. Heh."

Apparently he'd decided he was going to take on this thing himself, unaware of the fact that others might be nearby. Uhhhh...guess you could help!

Misc.

At Skyhold, the drunk Dwarf could usually be found and the Warden camp or the tavern. Either way he was sure to be telling tall tales just to get people stirred up. That or he'd be the one instigating the drinking games. And winning. Already several had called for mercy while he gave a cry that they could come back to face him again after they learned to bleed ale. Care to listen or take his challenge? Beware of either.

That's right, magic is something innate. You can be taught to hone your gift, but if you do not possess that spark to begin with, all the lessons given will accomplish nothing.

Magic can do many things; heal wounds, energize debris to create walkways or repair structures, provide a protective barrier, damage ones enemies with ice or fire or lightning...and so on. I don't mind giving a demonstration for those interested. Knowledge is key toward fighting the present bias against mages.

At the tavern, there's one tall and horned lady that's the queen of most drinking contests. Given how she's built, it's easy to see that most don't stand a chance against her unless they're fellow qunari. Nonetheless, she'll take up any challengers, and she looks over the dwarf with a grin.

"Ever had maraas-lok? If we're going to have a real contest, ale doesn't cut it. Most people can't last one drink." Is Oghren most people? Time to find out.

His eye just go wide at the mention of this brew. Not because he hadn't heard of it but because getting his hands on that qunari brew wasn't easy! It wasn't like they were the shariest of people. Must be something to do with that Qun of theirs. Still, he had to take a moment to pause.

"You're probably the friendliest horned girl I've seen. Was getting the impression the qunari were all just stuffed nugs." Then he grinned at her. "Pour it out. Let's have it. There ain't no booze Oghren can't handle!"

[Eyebrows is walking along higher ground when he hears the shouts and cries. There is one voice in particular that he hears above all the others. He turns to watch with a bit of horror. It was. It was him. All Edwardian... Then he watches as his younger self is swept away.]

Typical.

[He starts to run so that hopefully he's downstream of the log Edwardian is clung to. He makes his way down the embankment and fishes out his yo-yo as he gets closer to the water. He calls out, hopefully loud enough to be heard over the rush of water.]

Catch this!

[Then, with the loop around his finger, he throws the yo-yo out to Edwardian.]

The Cardinal frowns.

"So, the leaders of this place aren't even here? How do they maintain control?"

France was different. He had gone all over in order to ensure the King's control. But here they were in this sort of citadel and no one around to lead them? It was absurd. It was also the chance for him to maybe find a place.

[A small, understanding smile.]

God cares for all of his creatures. I happen to believe that you are one of his creatures, since he holds dominion over everything.

Edited 2017-02-27 18:22 (UTC)

All he'd been doing was gathering herbs. All. And yet, again, there was a bloody stupid bear and WHY was it always bears? Anders gathers himself mentally, trying to decide if he was running or going to turn this thing to ash... and hears that voice on the other side of two trees.

It's impossible, hearing him, but at the same time if anyone could survive out on his own in the middle of chaos, it's this Dwarf.

"Yes, please kill it," he says after a moment. There's no nervousness there like he usually feels when reuniting with someone - Oghren isn't going to judge him. "I'll keep you alive, like old times."

...so-called? Why don't you come by the healing tents, where we're keeping people alive with magic, and then reconsider your stance?

[Anders sounds a little aggressive, but the choice of the word 'we' might give away the why of that.]

I was being polite. If you'd rather, I could say witches. Or heathens. Or Servants of Satan.

[He's not a bad person. He's just very dedicated to Church and State (as two separate entities.)]

I applaud your attempts to use it for good, but I have to consider what kind of good can come from such an evil practice?

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TEST DRIVE MEME!

Armand Cardinal Richelieu | BBC Musketeers

Prompto Argentum | Final Fantasy XV (spoilers will be withheld)

Archery Practice

Crystals

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Bears

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misc.

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The Eighth Doctor | Doctor Who

Oghren | Dragon Age

Crystals

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Floods

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III

Crystals

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