i. [sounding not at all offended] Of course you do realise, that's offensives.

ii. Stop your complaining, it's just snow. Could be worse.

iii. Ooh! Forsythia!

iv. You know this reminds me of something my old pa useds to say.

v. Did I ever tells you about how I becames a Warden?

edit: vi. WILDE CAERD