solmate: (JessieMei00017)
𝖆𝖑𝖎𝖓𝖆 𝖘𝖙𝖆𝖗𝖐𝖔𝖛 ☼ ([personal profile] solmate) wrote in [community profile] allthisshitisweird 2023-04-13 02:46 am (UTC)

And then he had to go bring that up.

She stares, brows furrowed and eyes fixed carefully on him. It's hard, even now to get a read on him. Nikolai wears his masks well. Sometimes she wonders if he even prefers them. Does it make it easier for him to step into the roles Ravka has decided for him? Alina cannot help but be jealous of the ease he slips into them. Hers always feel wrong, like trying on someone else's boots that pinch in all the wrong places.

"I've gathered," but this is not their fight, even if her stomach churns for reasons not entirely related to the rocky seas. Mages are not Grisha, but she doesn't think that's a meaningful distinction to anyone here. Nor is it really one to her. The patterns are cyclical as they are sickening, but she's falling into the role of cynic now. More a forgotten orphan, a ghost on a ship, than a saint. "Are you suggesting I put on a show to warm hands as well as hearts to help their sentiment?"

Because she'd rather not risk that right now.

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