All she wants is to cause pain, to make the world hurt as badly as she does. She remembers all the death-- those loyal in her, who trusted her. She loved them. She wanted to be a mother to them. And they are dead, and she mourns as a mother must.

(She does not remember her mother.)

"And if I rot, will you kick yourself for it? Feel responsible for my death? Don't kid yourself, Altulus." Little Altus. "You don't have that much control over anything."

In the end, she doesn't know this man. She's just saying the things that would hurt her.