Test Drive Meme!

[faderifting]

No, Seriously, You're Never Getting Out Of Here

Maybe the Inquisition sent you, maybe you came seeking the Inquisition. Maybe you fell out of a rift into this world last week and are still just trying to find your feet. However it happened, early fall finds you in the Hinterlands. Tucked between Ferelden's massive Lake Calenhad and the icy Frostback Mountains, the Hinterlands are a hilly region covered in patchy forests and small farms trying to eke out a living between the boulders. Though somewhat remote, the area is rich with game and minerals and home to Redcliffe, a bustling town on a busy trade route.

Lately the Hinterlands have also been full of mages and templars and rifts, all threatening to turn once-peaceful countryside into a dangerous warzone. The Inquisition has set up several camps and sent personnel to try to restore order to the region, unwilling to let it slip into chaos. There's a lot to be done, some of it straightforward killing bad things, some of it weird and nebulous morale-building.

NOTE: We will not have an App Help/Enable Me meme this month, but anyone who has questions about OC concepts or AU adaptations is welcome to ask for assistance on the Mod Contact page.

1. WHERE THE SUN COMES UP ABOUT TEN IN THE MORNING

QUESTS COME AND GO BUT BEARS ARE ETERNAL: You have turned the wrong corner, forded the wrong stream, crested the wrong hill, entered the wrong cave. Maybe you are far from camp. Maybe you are in camp. Whatever has happened, wherever you are: you are being chased by bears. Did you provoke the bears? Are they huge? Babies? Fade-touched? Mage-controlled? What are they chasing you away from? What are they chasing you into? What do you plan to make out of their hide if you kill them? What do you think they'll craft out of your hide if they kill you?

2. THEY MOVED DOWN SOUTH OF REDCLIFFE

NICE PLACE FOR A SPOT OF CAMPING: If there were an inn, which there's not, there wouldn't be room for you in it. Traveling with the Inquisition means carrying your own bedrolls, putting up your own tents, and sleeping alongside whoever you've been told to share with--no matter how much you hate them or how loud they snore. If you really can't stand it, the alternative is sleeping outside. On the ground. With the bears.

3. AND THEY LAUGHED AND SANG A NEW SONG

Hey, there's a big, crazy light in the sky that craps out demons! Let's worship it!: Not everyone thinks the Breach was a bad thing. In the southeastern mountains, a burgeoning cult has taken up residence in Winterwatch Tower to wait patiently for the Maker to reach through the tears in the veil and gather the faithful to his bosom. They're a little kooky, maybe, but harmless, and they're happy enough to share their wine and lager with travelers in the area. The demon-spewing rift behind the Tower, on the other hand... Too bad the Herald didn't close that thing before she bit it. Watch your step.

4. NO ONE EVER KNEW THERE WAS LYRIUM IN THEM MOUNTAINS

TROUBLE IN THE DEEP: The Carta is everywhere, but it's here in force, occupying dwarven ruins in a chasm behind a waterfall. Inquisition forces have already cleared most of the smugglers out of the hold, but there's still a vault to break into, bodies to loot, and old texts to search through for anything worth adding to the Inquisition's growing archives. Also: darkspawn. Sorry.

5. AND THE SUN GOES DOWN ABOUT THREE IN THE DAY

CHOOSE YOUR OWN ADVENTURE: hunt game, kill demons, gather herbs, track bandits, haggle over the price of armor, fall off a deceptively tall rock, get lost circling the same hill ten times trying to find a way up to the weird glowing skull on a stick you can see is up there, climb trees or abandoned towers, rummage around in empty homes, run from a dragon, cry over how cute that fennec fox you just shot was, set up camp and chat around the fire, knock yourself out (figuratively, or even literally if that's more your speed)-- the Hinterlands are your Frostback Mountain oyster.

Comments

[theonly]

[ He frowns in response to the question. ]

How? [ His eyes don't follow this one as it would the Tevinter in Skyhold. From what he could tell of how tired and weary the other is, he believes that he may be singed but survive should it come to it.

Stannis turns to look at him now; he doesn't understand the question, but attempts to finish it himself. ] How could they think you were with him? Because he has gathered both Templar and mage under his banner. A disgrace on both our sides.

[warcatalyst]

[Anders rubs the bridge of his nose at that, shaking his head. This didn't make sense. All he had ever heard was 'the Elder one' and that there was a possible Arch demon. Not this.]

No... I... are you sure his name is Corypheus?

[theonly]

I am certain. That is what the reports say, what those who command the Inquisition say. Fools though I occasionally think that they are, but they would not lie about this.

[ And now he leans forward, looking past the flames to the mage's face. ]

Do you know something about this?

[warcatalyst]

I was a Warden.

[Not technically a lie. Just no details.]

The Champion of Kirkwall killed Corypheus long ago. It cannot possibly be true.

[theonly]

You abandoned the Wardens?

[ STANNIS GREATLY DISAPPROVES. ]

She did not do a good job of it, then.

[warcatalyst]

They made me get rid of my cat!

[Well, that wasn't the only reason, but it fit the 'mildly confused apostate' route he took in at least trying to hide who he was.

We do not approve of lying, Anders. Well, that was sometimes needed, wasn't it? In truth, he was better at lying by omission.

Like having your fiends gathering Sela Petrae.]

...and he was dead. I'm sure of it.

[theonly]

You abandoned the Wardens for a cat?

[ He shakes his head once. STANNIS GREATLY DISAPPROVES. ]

As sure as you were, you were wrong. He is alive and he is gathering forces to burn down all of Thedas.

perfect icon there XD

[warcatalyst]

It was a very special cat. Clawed a darkspawn, once.

[...and, you know, a gift from the Hero of Ferelden and Anders' support animal.

...but never mind that.]

It's... I see.

why thank you thank you

[theonly]

By all means, let us abandon all our oaths and vows for a cat that scratched a Darkspawn.

[ HOW MUCH MORE NEGATIVE CAN A PERSON FEEL? ]

Now you understand the state of the world. Have you enjoyed the rock you have found yourself under?

[warcatalyst]

Exactly.

[Anders no.]

...it's been a comfortable rock. Perhaps I should come with you to Skyhold.

[He's responsible for a lot, but he won't be caught doing nothing with Hawke's old enemy rearing his head and spitting on her reputation.]

[theonly]

[ THIS NEGATIVE TRAIN AIN'T GONNA BE STOPPING. ]

Good.

You said something that makes sense.

[warcatalyst]

[50+ Anders Rivalry]

I tend to do that, sometimes. It's part of my charm.

[theonly]

[ STANNIS CAN'T GET MORE RIVALRY AND YET. ]

Charm about speaking nonsense then say something worthwhile. [ A beat. ] You've fought Corypheus before. I have not met but only heard stories. I wonder if he is different now than when you battled, but I cannot say. What information would be valuable, even if you are a worthless turncoat who has no respect for anything. [ Another sigh. ]

Fear not. Commander Cullen is the same.

[warcatalyst]

[He throws his hands out at that, shaking his head.]

Hey, now. I didn't say I fought Corypheus! I only know because I used to be a Warden, and we share our darkspawn knowledge!

[More lies. Yes, well. They only suited Justice when they aided the cause? This was aiding the cause; known as 'staying alive'.]

Make sure you've understood this worthless turncoat with such lack in respect.