allthisshitisweird | Test Drive Meme!

No, Seriously, You're Never Getting Out Of Here

Maybe the Inquisition sent you, maybe you came seeking the Inquisition. Maybe you fell out of a rift into this world last week and are still just trying to find your feet. However it happened, early fall finds you in the Hinterlands. Tucked between Ferelden's massive Lake Calenhad and the icy Frostback Mountains, the Hinterlands are a hilly region covered in patchy forests and small farms trying to eke out a living between the boulders. Though somewhat remote, the area is rich with game and minerals and home to Redcliffe, a bustling town on a busy trade route.

Lately the Hinterlands have also been full of mages and templars and rifts, all threatening to turn once-peaceful countryside into a dangerous warzone. The Inquisition has set up several camps and sent personnel to try to restore order to the region, unwilling to let it slip into chaos. There's a lot to be done, some of it straightforward killing bad things, some of it weird and nebulous morale-building.

NOTE: We will not have an App Help/Enable Me meme this month, but anyone who has questions about OC concepts or AU adaptations is welcome to ask for assistance on the Mod Contact page.

1. WHERE THE SUN COMES UP ABOUT TEN IN THE MORNING

QUESTS COME AND GO BUT BEARS ARE ETERNAL: You have turned the wrong corner, forded the wrong stream, crested the wrong hill, entered the wrong cave. Maybe you are far from camp. Maybe you are in camp. Whatever has happened, wherever you are: you are being chased by bears. Did you provoke the bears? Are they huge? Babies? Fade-touched? Mage-controlled? What are they chasing you away from? What are they chasing you into? What do you plan to make out of their hide if you kill them? What do you think they'll craft out of your hide if they kill you?

2. THEY MOVED DOWN SOUTH OF REDCLIFFE

NICE PLACE FOR A SPOT OF CAMPING: If there were an inn, which there's not, there wouldn't be room for you in it. Traveling with the Inquisition means carrying your own bedrolls, putting up your own tents, and sleeping alongside whoever you've been told to share with--no matter how much you hate them or how loud they snore. If you really can't stand it, the alternative is sleeping outside. On the ground. With the bears.

3. AND THEY LAUGHED AND SANG A NEW SONG

Hey, there's a big, crazy light in the sky that craps out demons! Let's worship it!: Not everyone thinks the Breach was a bad thing. In the southeastern mountains, a burgeoning cult has taken up residence in Winterwatch Tower to wait patiently for the Maker to reach through the tears in the veil and gather the faithful to his bosom. They're a little kooky, maybe, but harmless, and they're happy enough to share their wine and lager with travelers in the area. The demon-spewing rift behind the Tower, on the other hand... Too bad the Herald didn't close that thing before she bit it. Watch your step.

4. NO ONE EVER KNEW THERE WAS LYRIUM IN THEM MOUNTAINS

TROUBLE IN THE DEEP: The Carta is everywhere, but it's here in force, occupying dwarven ruins in a chasm behind a waterfall. Inquisition forces have already cleared most of the smugglers out of the hold, but there's still a vault to break into, bodies to loot, and old texts to search through for anything worth adding to the Inquisition's growing archives. Also: darkspawn. Sorry.

5. AND THE SUN GOES DOWN ABOUT THREE IN THE DAY

CHOOSE YOUR OWN ADVENTURE: hunt game, kill demons, gather herbs, track bandits, haggle over the price of armor, fall off a deceptively tall rock, get lost circling the same hill ten times trying to find a way up to the weird glowing skull on a stick you can see is up there, climb trees or abandoned towers, rummage around in empty homes, run from a dragon, cry over how cute that fennec fox you just shot was, set up camp and chat around the fire, knock yourself out (figuratively, or even literally if that's more your speed)-- the Hinterlands are your ~~Frostback Mountain~~ oyster.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

Oh, very much so. Five little things, no mother should have to raise so many on her own!

[Why yes he has examined his cat, thank you. What are healer skills for if not counting kittens?]

As an honorable man, it's my duty to assist.

I'm glad she has someone looking out for her then.

[A slight pause, as he isn't sure how to approach this subject.]

Do you need anything for her? Blankets perhaps? Rations?

[Framing it as needing help for the cat could make it seem less intrusive. He isn't sure how the man will feel about charity.]

[Yep, cats totally need rations. Anders smiles slightly, mood definitely higher despite his exhaust.]

We're fine.

[...and then, more gently, because you can never take the healer quite out of him;]

Would you like some tea? You look a bit pale.

I'd love some. I could even pay you for it. [Still going to try to offer some help in return if he can.]

If you pay me, I must insist to include a checkup as well.

[That's how things worked and how he still lived. A coin for the healer, let him cure your white cough and then run for his life.]

[He chuckles a bit taking that in stride and then replying with a bit of a joke, though he knows the humor in it is a little dark.]

I suppose if you'd like to waste your time...

I am excellent at wasting time.

[He'll start by getting a tiny and slightly wonky pot and a waterskin to make tea, though.]

Then don't let me stop you.

[He sounds a little amused by Anders' response, and he's not turning down the offer for help. When a man has very little and offers such a thing, it seems wrong to deny it.]

[Since he's in the presence of another mage, Anders uses his magic to heat up the pot and add some tea leaves. Pouring some in a chipped cup he handed it to Felix.]

How long have you been ill?

[Felix took his carefully and sipped. He enjoyed the warmth.]

For several years now.

That's impressive.

[If it is what he suspects, at least.]

It's not easy to live with.

[He considers Anders for a moment.]

Living with it isn't the problem. It's what comes after that everyone seems to be worried about.

Mm. There are options, though.

[Hard options. Options he had been forced to take for completely other reasons.]

[Felix raises his brow a bit.]

Oh?

From the way you look, and what I can pick up... has nobody suggested becoming a Warden?

A Warden?

I'm afraid they aren't very common in Tevinter.

[A pause, because he really doesn't know exactly what to do with that information.] They have a cure?

Maker's breath, nobody? Here I thought you Tevinters were educated men.

[There's a smile, but it's a little strained.]

It's not a cure. You'll get fifteen, maybe twenty more years.

[He just stares for a moment.]

You're serious, aren't you?

Perfectly serious.

[Well, there were caveats, of course.]

The ceremony is... slightly nasty and could kill you, but you've lived with it for some time. Maybe you've built enough strength to survive.

[Felix just watches him and then, after a moment, he starts to chuckle.]

Maker... [He says, trailing off a bit as if he's a little too amused to continue.]

[He gives the man some space, because honestly, that was a bomb he would probably not have dropped so leisurely if he wasn't so exhausted already.]

More tea?

Yes. Please. [He comes closer and holds up his hand with the mug]

You know, my father drove himself mad trying to find a cure.

I'm... sorry.

[It's not a cure. Yes, Anders knows that. It's service you didn't want, it's battles you weren't prepared for, it's fucking darkspawn (and you can feel them, know they're there, just waiting for you.

It's strength and stamina but a horrible appetite. It's eventual nightmares and a lonely death.]

It's not a cure. It's just a few more years without pain.

[Felix regains his composure and clears his throat.]

Yes. As you said.

I know. I'm... just making that clear.

[Here, Felix. Have some more tea.]

It's not an easy way out. Depending on who hold the reins in your Joining, they'll expect you to be a Grey Warden for life.

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