allthisshitisweird | Test Drive Meme!

No, Seriously, You're Never Getting Out Of Here

Maybe the Inquisition sent you, maybe you came seeking the Inquisition. Maybe you fell out of a rift into this world last week and are still just trying to find your feet. However it happened, early fall finds you in the Hinterlands. Tucked between Ferelden's massive Lake Calenhad and the icy Frostback Mountains, the Hinterlands are a hilly region covered in patchy forests and small farms trying to eke out a living between the boulders. Though somewhat remote, the area is rich with game and minerals and home to Redcliffe, a bustling town on a busy trade route.

Lately the Hinterlands have also been full of mages and templars and rifts, all threatening to turn once-peaceful countryside into a dangerous warzone. The Inquisition has set up several camps and sent personnel to try to restore order to the region, unwilling to let it slip into chaos. There's a lot to be done, some of it straightforward killing bad things, some of it weird and nebulous morale-building.

NOTE: We will not have an App Help/Enable Me meme this month, but anyone who has questions about OC concepts or AU adaptations is welcome to ask for assistance on the Mod Contact page.

1. WHERE THE SUN COMES UP ABOUT TEN IN THE MORNING

QUESTS COME AND GO BUT BEARS ARE ETERNAL: You have turned the wrong corner, forded the wrong stream, crested the wrong hill, entered the wrong cave. Maybe you are far from camp. Maybe you are in camp. Whatever has happened, wherever you are: you are being chased by bears. Did you provoke the bears? Are they huge? Babies? Fade-touched? Mage-controlled? What are they chasing you away from? What are they chasing you into? What do you plan to make out of their hide if you kill them? What do you think they'll craft out of your hide if they kill you?

2. THEY MOVED DOWN SOUTH OF REDCLIFFE

NICE PLACE FOR A SPOT OF CAMPING: If there were an inn, which there's not, there wouldn't be room for you in it. Traveling with the Inquisition means carrying your own bedrolls, putting up your own tents, and sleeping alongside whoever you've been told to share with--no matter how much you hate them or how loud they snore. If you really can't stand it, the alternative is sleeping outside. On the ground. With the bears.

3. AND THEY LAUGHED AND SANG A NEW SONG

Hey, there's a big, crazy light in the sky that craps out demons! Let's worship it!: Not everyone thinks the Breach was a bad thing. In the southeastern mountains, a burgeoning cult has taken up residence in Winterwatch Tower to wait patiently for the Maker to reach through the tears in the veil and gather the faithful to his bosom. They're a little kooky, maybe, but harmless, and they're happy enough to share their wine and lager with travelers in the area. The demon-spewing rift behind the Tower, on the other hand... Too bad the Herald didn't close that thing before she bit it. Watch your step.

4. NO ONE EVER KNEW THERE WAS LYRIUM IN THEM MOUNTAINS

TROUBLE IN THE DEEP: The Carta is everywhere, but it's here in force, occupying dwarven ruins in a chasm behind a waterfall. Inquisition forces have already cleared most of the smugglers out of the hold, but there's still a vault to break into, bodies to loot, and old texts to search through for anything worth adding to the Inquisition's growing archives. Also: darkspawn. Sorry.

5. AND THE SUN GOES DOWN ABOUT THREE IN THE DAY

CHOOSE YOUR OWN ADVENTURE: hunt game, kill demons, gather herbs, track bandits, haggle over the price of armor, fall off a deceptively tall rock, get lost circling the same hill ten times trying to find a way up to the weird glowing skull on a stick you can see is up there, climb trees or abandoned towers, rummage around in empty homes, run from a dragon, cry over how cute that fennec fox you just shot was, set up camp and chat around the fire, knock yourself out (figuratively, or even literally if that's more your speed)-- the Hinterlands are your ~~Frostback Mountain~~ oyster.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

[Hawke is a benevolent lady and even purrs under Gorse's touch! It's a miracle, really. That, or she can smell the other cats.

Anders listens, slightly curious as the qunari speaks. It was a little odd to think of large horned farmers, but the man had a bumbling honesty to him that made him believe it wasn't made up.]

Is that so? Well, it's nice to meet you.

[It's probably the other cats, really, but Gorse will still take it as a blessing. All days in which you can pet a cat is a blessing.]

Nice to meet you too - ah, my name's Gorse. What are you doin' all the way out here if you don't mind my asking? It's pretty dangerous round these parts, not really ideal camping ... nice spot you got just the same.

[He fully agrees with this. +10 friendship right there.]

Karl. [He mumbles, the name sharp and painful on his tongue and in his heart.] ...and I'm just enjoying the lovely scenery.

[Gorse hesitates for a moment at the pain in 'Karl's voice, giving a deep sigh and looking out to the view of the valley.]

It definitely is lovely at that.

[From up here it looks so peaceful, you could even forget there was a war going on. Maybe this is what it looked like before then, the whole valley.]

Seems like it might be a little cold or dangerous out here for the little lady though.

I agree with that. [He says, softly.] ...but we're here together. That's what's important.

[The shaggy mage rubs the cat's belly gently.]

I won't let her get hurt or hungry, I promise.

[Like him.]

Well seems to me like if somethin' happened to you that'd definitely leave her in a bind. Ain't no place to be a single mother.

Inquisition is takin' in refugees if you didn't know. All refugees. [He gives a small nod in the direction of Anders' staff.] Ain't much but might be a bit safer for you two, worth lookin' in to? Iffin' you got a mind for it anyway, you might got your own plan setup that's better.

You're kind.

[He says, softly. If the man knew who he was, what he had done? He doubted he would receive such gentle offers.

Still. It was nice to be seen as something good, just for a moment.]

I'm not... an asset, though. I fare best on my own.

I'm generally inclined to believe people if they say they gotta be on their own, [Especially among Tal-Vashoth, where 'I'm not good with children' can and often does mean 'I'm worried I'll go on a murder spree and don't want to put them in danger'.] and if you insist then I won't, but you really don't gotta be an asset. Just so's you know.

[He gives Anders an encouraging smile, his voice gentle.]

Everyone's more helpful than they think they are, too. You know where the Inquisition camps are at least, if y'change your mind?

[This qunari was really... odd. In a good way, but it also made him slightly tense. Was there an angle?

...no, the man had come up to him to discuss cats, of all things.]

Thank you. I do know where they are.

[Anders' exhausted face softens a bit, and Hawke settles with him again.]

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