allthisshitisweird | TEST DRIVE MEME!

TEST DRIVE: ORLAIS EDITION

I. EVERYBEAR I GO

Believe it or not, there are bears in Orlais, too. Stuffed ones posed in noble salons casting intimidating shadows as lords tell unlikely stories about how they bravely stared the great beast in the eye before they slayed it with a single shot. One comtesse keeps bears as pets in large pens on her estate, much to the distress of her nearest neighbors. But most common are the dancing bear acts found on street corners here and there. Perhaps there is some sort of special bear communication network that has passed on a message, because it seems like the presence of the Inquisition has inspired these bears to finally make a break for it out of servitude, and that is how you find yourself being chased by a bear in a belled hat down a narrow cobbled alley lined with street vendors.

II. OUI OUI MON AMI

The Inquisition's efforts are currently focused on Orlais, where a civil war is raging and intelligence indicates Corypheus seeks to eliminate Empress Celene, while the oppressed elven population's discontent threatens to bubble over into a second rebellion. The Inquisition's activities here are mostly political and designed to gather influence and information: endeavoring to make a good impression at the ball of an influential comtesse with ties to the Council of Heralds, or assisting with the reconstruction of the alienage district destroyed by fire. There are rowdy soldiers in taverns to eavesdrop on, and restless crowds listening to streetcorner speakers preach Celene's virtues, or Gaspard's, or lament the end of the world.

But honestly, who cares about any of that? Halamshiral also offers great high-end shopping. Priorities. Gowns, tunics, fur-trimmed cloaks, sleeves slashed and puffed with layers of bright-colored satin. Tall boots with gold spurs to clink as you walk. Veils, lace-trimmed smallclothes, perfumes, necklaces worth your weight in gold. If you have the coin, the shopkeeps have time for you. The slightest whiff of poverty will leave them cold toward you. They might even pretend not to see you, but hey: they work on commission.

Even among decadence and finery, there are signs of unrest. In an out-of-the-way village square, little Orlesian children gather to throw thick gold coins in a gilt fountain, with whispered wishes and giggles. All at once, a thief pushes his way into their circle, breaking the idyllic scene. He leaps into the fountain and grabs a handful of coin. Thin, dirty, ragged, hollow-eyed and, under the hood of his cloak, elven, he scans the now-screaming children -- and then takes off running.

“Stop him!” howls one precious Orlesian cherub, her rosy cheeks streaked with tears. “That dirty knife-ear took my money!”

Kids are just the cutest.

III. SKYHOLD

Skyhold is where people who don't like fun accents and life being a constant masquerade hang around repairing walls, filling out paperwork, and, on rare occasions, engaging in elaborate, color-coded team snowball fights.

That last occasion? Totally over. Now the Inquisition will see you work, work, work, work, work. Working to save Thedas is not all fun and games, and there are plenty of things to keep you busy in Skyhold. See that roof over there? It has a hole in it. Climb up, someone suggests, and fix it. See that hole over there, in the wall? Some drunk from the tavern fell through it yesterday, and it needs repairs. See that floor over there? It’s dirty. And here’s a mop.

If these tasks seem too menial and demeaning, perhaps you’d like to head up to the library and reshelve some books. Perhaps you’d like to meet a special friend there? The stacks are warm and cozy, and at least a little out of the way. Secret spaces are at a premium. But be careful: you aren’t the only one in Skyhold, no matter how many people shipped out to Orlais.

If warm ovens are more your style than warm books, try the kitchens. They could always use a helping hand - especially because one of the baby griffons has made its way down there. A sharp-beaked competition for your plans to pilfer snacks, but you’ll prevail, right? The griffon loves chicken, and the taste of your blood. Get her outside before she gets too comfortable.

Or just feed the dogs, you dirty Fereldan.

IV. WILDCARD

Thedas is a big place. Do something else in it. Maybe in the Hinterlands.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

"Wait, what?" Cosima says, probably a little louder than she strictly should in a library. "Back up like... five steps. What do you mean, Kira's stem cells?"

A few months would have been plenty of time for Delphine to change her hair - and worry over Cosima's disappearance could have been enough to wear her down, if nothing else at Dyad did it in the interim.

But it definitely wasn't the same last night if she expects Cosima to take we tried treating you with Kira's stem cells in stride. Cosima is fairly certain she'd remember that. (Did Delphine even know who Kira was? Did she hear it from Dyad?)

Right. That reaction was really strange, somehow she forgot the past several months. "We had to use the stem cells because you were progressing too fast, and we haven't found a cure just yet," she hoped that it would change soon, but she knew her role changed from trying to find a cure a long time ago, which wasn't something she asked for. "Originally we took it from Kira's baby tooth, but as with all mesenchymal stem cells, it helped subdue the symptoms for a short time and didn't repair your lungs and ovaries".

Add up worrying about Cosima, feeling betrayed a million times, not to mention taking on all of Dyad while trying to keep away topside, and just... Rachel. Rachel is enough to tire out a nation. All of these together make a very exhausted Delphine, that still somehow has to keep a strong image, because appearing weak won't keep any of the clones safe as she promised to do.

"Okay, well, that definitely didn't happen. Or happen yet. So." Cosima exhales. "We've got some options. Number one, when you get back from Thedas, you don't lose any time and you forget all about it, so I actually already went and came back. Relative to you."

She adjusts her glasses, more or less thinking aloud. "Option two, you and I are from incredibly similar but distinct timelines. Infinite options, butterfly effect stuff. In that case, your Cosima never left at all, but I'm not quite her." An alternate of a clone feels, even to Cosima, like turtles all the way down.

"Or, option three, one of us is having a really vivid hallucination and the other one of us doesn't actually exist." Cosima's smile is shaky. "But, uh, I'm on the record as pro you existing. So."

It's all a lot to take in.

The confusion showed on Delphine's face, she's still considering all of this to be a strange drug induced dream. The mind does get wary after a period of inactivity, so she won't be too surprised by how real this seems. "I'm rather confident in this being an odd dream," this wasn't directed to Cosima as much as it was reassuring herself. It's gonna take a lot to convince her otherwise, because it's simply too far fetched.

But she noticed the smile, and she couldn't help but react on instinct, raising a hand to caress the others cheek. "I highly doubt you're hallucinating, but I can see it being the other way around" there was just a small hint of sadness there, it wouldn't surprise her if it was.

"I guess we can't prove you're not dreaming," Cosima says, dubious. "Though it's kind of weird of you to dream me partial amnesia and the sensation of having been here for months. Just saying."

She wants to go to Delphine, to hold her and ask if that felt like a hallucination. But something in Delphine's manner keeps her hovering back. She seems worn down, resigned in a way that's worrying.

"It is strange," she let out a rather lighthearted laugh, maybe some of the walls were coming down? But that didn't last much longer, due to the rather dull reminder in her chest at the strain from the small laugh. It wasn't a strong movement, but the wound wasn't completely healed either. It hurt just enough for her smile to fall and her hands press against her chest, eyes falling shut just long enough for the pain to pass.

Cosima's worries weren't without reason, and this probably wouldn't help those. "Désolée" was all she muttered before regaining her composure and leave her eyes rest on the others face.

"Oh shit - what's wrong?" Cosima's concern is suddenly much more immediate at Delphine's evident physical pain - pain Cosima has no frame of reference for. She comes close to Delphine's side, crouching next to her chair. "Are you hurt? What happened?"

Existential questions could wait if Delphine needed medical attention.

"I was shot," rather blatantly said, with a weak smile to accompany it. "It's nothing to be worried about, considering that it's just the liver," she lifted her shirt just enough to show the scar, it wasn't completely healed but it wasn't bleeding out either. Whatever pain she was feeling must have been internal, as that must take much longer to heal.

The worry from Cosima was comforting in a way, and it helped ease the pain, or at least distract her from it. "I was told I wasn't going to live until the next day, I knew something was going to happen," didn't mean she gave up as much as she knew running and hiding served no purpose other than putting all of the clones at risk. "But I was rescued, sadly I'm not sure why, or how. So I'm not going to be optimistic just yet," she couldn't help but let a small, but wry laugh out. This wouldn't be the first time someone used her.

"Shot," Cosima echoed. "Christ, Delphine, you should be at the healers' tent, not cataloging library books." The fact the wound wasn't actively bleeding, while better than the alternative, was not really sufficient grounds for her being up and about.

Also: "Who the hell shot you? Was it the Proletheans?"

"Cosima, mon cœur, don't worry. I've been resting for a long time, and the most I would benefit from would be a scan of sorts. Which I doubt they have here," she isn't intending to be be mean, but she could tell she's been down for a long time before coming here. But the worry from her so called heart was too endearing, that she, rather impulsively, cupped both sides of Cosima's face, gently pulling her closer. She's been pushed away one too many times already to kiss her directly, without making sure it wasn't unwanted.

There was just a small laugh, shaking her head slightly in denial. "Helena has done a goob job of... Disposing of them, it wasn't the Proletheans," can she not talk about this now? The whole subject was a mess, and it might be selfish, but at the moment she'd rather enjoy being with Cosima.

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