TEST DRIVE MEME!

[faderifting]

TEST DRIVE: ORLAIS EDITION

I. EVERYBEAR I GO

Believe it or not, there are bears in Orlais, too. Stuffed ones posed in noble salons casting intimidating shadows as lords tell unlikely stories about how they bravely stared the great beast in the eye before they slayed it with a single shot. One comtesse keeps bears as pets in large pens on her estate, much to the distress of her nearest neighbors. But most common are the dancing bear acts found on street corners here and there. Perhaps there is some sort of special bear communication network that has passed on a message, because it seems like the presence of the Inquisition has inspired these bears to finally make a break for it out of servitude, and that is how you find yourself being chased by a bear in a belled hat down a narrow cobbled alley lined with street vendors.

II. OUI OUI MON AMI

The Inquisition's efforts are currently focused on Orlais, where a civil war is raging and intelligence indicates Corypheus seeks to eliminate Empress Celene, while the oppressed elven population's discontent threatens to bubble over into a second rebellion. The Inquisition's activities here are mostly political and designed to gather influence and information: endeavoring to make a good impression at the ball of an influential comtesse with ties to the Council of Heralds, or assisting with the reconstruction of the alienage district destroyed by fire. There are rowdy soldiers in taverns to eavesdrop on, and restless crowds listening to streetcorner speakers preach Celene's virtues, or Gaspard's, or lament the end of the world.

But honestly, who cares about any of that? Halamshiral also offers great high-end shopping. Priorities. Gowns, tunics, fur-trimmed cloaks, sleeves slashed and puffed with layers of bright-colored satin. Tall boots with gold spurs to clink as you walk. Veils, lace-trimmed smallclothes, perfumes, necklaces worth your weight in gold. If you have the coin, the shopkeeps have time for you. The slightest whiff of poverty will leave them cold toward you. They might even pretend not to see you, but hey: they work on commission.

Even among decadence and finery, there are signs of unrest. In an out-of-the-way village square, little Orlesian children gather to throw thick gold coins in a gilt fountain, with whispered wishes and giggles. All at once, a thief pushes his way into their circle, breaking the idyllic scene. He leaps into the fountain and grabs a handful of coin. Thin, dirty, ragged, hollow-eyed and, under the hood of his cloak, elven, he scans the now-screaming children -- and then takes off running.

“Stop him!” howls one precious Orlesian cherub, her rosy cheeks streaked with tears. “That dirty knife-ear took my money!”

Kids are just the cutest.

III. SKYHOLD

Skyhold is where people who don't like fun accents and life being a constant masquerade hang around repairing walls, filling out paperwork, and, on rare occasions, engaging in elaborate, color-coded team snowball fights.

That last occasion? Totally over. Now the Inquisition will see you work, work, work, work, work. Working to save Thedas is not all fun and games, and there are plenty of things to keep you busy in Skyhold. See that roof over there? It has a hole in it. Climb up, someone suggests, and fix it. See that hole over there, in the wall? Some drunk from the tavern fell through it yesterday, and it needs repairs. See that floor over there? It’s dirty. And here’s a mop.

If these tasks seem too menial and demeaning, perhaps you’d like to head up to the library and reshelve some books. Perhaps you’d like to meet a special friend there? The stacks are warm and cozy, and at least a little out of the way. Secret spaces are at a premium. But be careful: you aren’t the only one in Skyhold, no matter how many people shipped out to Orlais.

If warm ovens are more your style than warm books, try the kitchens. They could always use a helping hand - especially because one of the baby griffons has made its way down there. A sharp-beaked competition for your plans to pilfer snacks, but you’ll prevail, right? The griffon loves chicken, and the taste of your blood. Get her outside before she gets too comfortable.

Or just feed the dogs, you dirty Fereldan.

IV. WILDCARD

Thedas is a big place. Do something else in it. Maybe in the Hinterlands.

Comments

[justice_is_blond]

"Yes, but what can do that? What did do that, and is it still nearby?" As he asks his questions, Anders pulls his staff from his back and braces. Apparently he's doing this. Don't ask him why, he has no idea. This is what happens in his life. Where is Hawke when you need him, really, or Cousland? They're probably off napping, glad to be away from this chaos.

"I'm ready, I'll cast, but if I get eaten by something else or the bear, I'm blaming you."

[inuko]

"No idea, didn't see anything, juts found the bear tearing down the alley before I got it in here." Thump. Ah yes, the bear. Let them never forget the bear.

Still, here's a winning grin. "Don't worry. I'll handle it before you end up eaten by the bear. No promises for any of the other people around here." He really doesn't care for a city full of masks.

"One, two, three!" He pulls back to the side and the door opens, the bear standing a meter behind the door and shaking its head, jerking forward once it senses freedom (and the Inquisition) lies ahead.

[justice_is_blond]

He has done many, many stupid things in his life. This is pretty high up on the list. All the same, when the door opens, Anders is casting a paralysis glyph at its feet and holding it in place after it's done its first lumbering jerk forward.

"I have it. Now you were going to knock it out?" There's a little strain in his voice; he's nervous. The bear is huge like all of them seem to be. "Because I can hold it for a short time, and then hold it again for another short time, and so on, but it's not a solution. I'll get worn out."

[inuko]

Shino grins as he moves into action, leaping up on top of the bear. "That trick of yours is pretty nice." He brings the hilt of his sword down over the base of the bear's skull. Eyes roll up, and while the bear is temporarily paralyzed, it doesn't collapse.

Which is better in one sense, as Shino rolls himself off to the side and taps back down on the ground. Ta-dah!

... Then again, what to do with the bear once it hits the ground...

[justice_is_blond]

Trick of his. It's an odd turn of phrase that gets the guy a raised eyebrow, but then Anders is refocusing on the bear.

"Well. Good. Now it's out. And... what's the plan from here? It's still a bear. It probably weighs more than ten of me combined, or eight of you." There's a light jest in his voice. He means the comment as tease rather than insult. "Did you see where it came from? Did you see any guards after it?"

[inuko]

Look, most people using magic on his world? Are demonically possessed, technically, and very often show physical signs of that possession during use of such powers. (Though he does know that isn't the case here.)

He looks from the bear to Anders, then back to the bear. "Eight of me?" Ah, back to Anders. "Even when you're taller..." Why are so many still taller than he is. A jest indeed, met with a sigh as Shino steps around to the side to look back down the alley. "That way, and no idea. Could we just find a guard to leave it to?"

[justice_is_blond]

"I'm lithe." On the scrawny side, really - he skips a lot of meals. Even without Justice, he's often focused on how much work there is to do. He can't make up for what he's done, but at least he can make things better.

Anders considers the bear before shrugging. "Let's find some guards. I think I saw a nicer tavern up the road a little, there will almost definitely be some guards there to keep the likes of me out." And he doesn't mind not being here if the bear suddenly wakes up, even though he'll feel guilty if that happens. He jerks his head to the side and starts walking.

[inuko]

Shino trots along after him, resheathing his sword and wrinkling his nose at the bear as it's left behind. Poor animal... poor everything. Orlais at least didn't offend his nose at every turn, but the people were a bizarre collection of interesting and intolerable.

Mostly intolerable, but he was not inclined to be charitable when feeling grumpy and displeased with his lot. The excitement of all these new sights and sounds and places paled with the ongoing realisation that he was entirely cut off from his most important people.

Thus he's falling in stride with a stranger and feeling once again like saying screw everything, except he can't. "The only place more likely is probably in the red light district. What makes you someone they're not happy to see around?"

[justice_is_blond]

He gives the other guy an evaluating look. Neat trick, with magic, and then asking why he wouldn't be wanted around?

"Are you a rifter? Because the easiest answer to that question would come naturally to most people. I'm a mage. We're not exactly the most welcome dinner party guests. Or any sort of guests."

And yet he's wearing staff and robes, and casting without being too worried about it. Anders refuses to be ashamed of what he was born to be. There's a guard up ahead, and Anders waves at him.

"Hey! There's a bear loose in your city. Shouldn't you be seeing to it?"

[inuko]

"I am, yes." Which meant that he had an irritating green little shard in his left hand, which felt so supremely backward (and yet correct) when Murasame had gone missing from his right. He didn't find the trade off all that acceptable, though he supposed it was exactly why he was unbound and at his actual physical age.

That was kind of nice, just not at the cost of everything else.

"I keep forgetting the whole mage thing. Magic's not really a common human practice where I'm from, as far as I know." It was by and large more often a demonic one, outside of certain cults that practiced their own arts.

... Usually involving (you guessed it) demons and spirits.

The guard is probably squinting at them both from behind his mask, but he doesn't deign to answer until they're closer. "You. What do you want?"

Shino settles a hand on his hip. Woah boy. This man is on the top of his game, isn't he?

"There's a bear passed out in front of a store down that way about a street. Has anyone lost one?"

"..." The guard looks between the two of them, then breathes out in a sharp snort. "I will not have you mock me in my city. A bear? We do not simply have bears running around our city. What nonsense is this?"