TEST DRIVE MEME!

[faderifting]

WHEN SKYHOLD'S GONE THEY'LL BEAR ON

HINTERLANDS ARE FOREVER

How’s the weather, Inquisition? Terrible. Heavy rainfall pelts the plains and the mountains, four straight days of it! Dark clouds block out the sun. It may begin to feel like there’s no end to the storms in sight. When darkness falls, cold evening temperatures turn that rain frigid. Your boots, your socks, they’re soaked through. Everyone smells like wet wool.

And as if all that weren’t enough: the increased rainfall loosens patches of mud and shale, causing mudslides.

---

1. We’re not in Orzammar anymore…

A recent group of dwarven traders bearing fine crafts and goods were inbound for Skyhold, ready to flood the markets with their wares. Instead, they got flooded out.

Yes, word has reached the Inquisition that the traders have been unfortunately detained by the weather and they are now in need of a rescue. Dare you venture out into the lashing rain and sliding mud to rescue the traders?

If you do so dare, you’ll find some of the traders to be exceedingly grateful for your efforts, ready to bestow handsome rewards on you, O Brave Soul -- just as soon as you’ve escorted them safely back to Skyhold. Or you might find a cluster of more disagreeable traders, grumpy at the water in their boots and the loss of their goods. Some of those goods might still be rescuable, if you want to wade out into a mud field to retrieve a fallen chest, or tug an errant terrified donkey back onto what’s passing for dry road these days.

As you carry these treasures back to their masters, or back to Skyhold, you might consider helping yourself to a sampling of the wares on your way back. After all, your reward might not be adequate, and you are risking your life for these ungrateful sons of mothers. Just don’t get caught. These traders don’t look kindly on thieves, and frayed tempers snap easily.

Feel free to get stuck on your way to the rescue, too. Weather out the storm with a fellow do-gooder. These days, the rescuers might need rescuing just as much.

2. Are you mad? That’s twelve year old scotch!

In Skyhold and the surrounding tent towns, what with the confusion and the panic and the scramble for high ground, market stalls are left unattended and wares are ripe for the taking. For some, temptation proves to be too much. Where there’s disaster, there’s often looting! A few vendors defend their own wares, and those that can’t make desperate entreaties for assistance. Bandits! Thieves!

Are you a brave and hale friend to the Inquisition and to good honest trade, ready to defend the wares of the waterlogged merchants? Or maybe your sticky fingers spot a tempting treasure too great to ignore. If they didn’t want it stolen, they should have taken it with them! Watch out for that Qunari metalsmith with the mean right hook. He’s not to be trifled with, and his blow will leave you toothless in the mud.

3. I gotta go, Julia, we got bears.

The rainfall has disturbed more than the mud. Bears, resting in their caves, have found their caves to be too damp for their liking, and they’ve taken to the open air to vent their spleens. Some people say that the bears are as frightened as you are, but when you’re faced with a six hundred pound beast with huge pointy teeth, their innocence is a little harder to keep in perspective.

The tents surrounding greater Skyhold are especially worried by rogue bears. Make a stand against them, or else help evacuate a threatened campsite. Mudwrestling a bear is a great way to impress the ladies, or the gentlemen… but no one will blame you for beating a hasty retreat.

4. We got 12 skins of water, 56 ales, two vodkas, four whiskeys, six bottles of wine, tequila, hazelnut paste, cheese, bread, eggs, bananas, apples, bacon, steaks, pancakes, dry grain, milk, sweet tomato sauce, half a pudding, half-ounce Sour Wine, 3 1/2 grams Grand Inquisitor Kush, one ounce of 'shrooms, 15 ecstasy potions, a smutty woodcut, a bat…

TIME TO HUNKER DOWN. In the tavern, the barkeep is handing out free spiced wine to anyone who takes refuge behind her door. The din of conversation and lutesong makes a fine lullabye for the careworn traveler, and you might find yourself inadvertently dropping off to sleep. Or maybe someone’s fallen asleep on you.

Who can blame the slumberers, finally safe and warm and dry? In the tavern, the fires have been built up to ward off the chill and the damp, but relaxation is a little more difficult these days. You really have to elbow your way in there to get close to that warmth. Once you get close enough, you’ll find that the hearths are taken up with dozens and dozens of wet socks and wetter boots, steaming gently as they dry. Be disgusted if you want, or else peel off your own and go barefoot while you wait.

Hey! What’s going on over there? Someone’s taking one of your socks! Stop, thief!

If you can’t make it to the tavern, you might find yourself holed up somewhere a little more unlikely. The limited space within Skyhold means there aren’t a lot of free rooms. That door you shoulder open in desperation might have an owner already. Intrusions aren’t always unwelcome, but beware of what -- or who! -- you might find.

5. Lots of fish… and lots of weather.

WILDCARD. Whatever you do, just remember: there’s a lot of rain, you’re very wet, and if you’re feeling amorous, keep in mind that everyone smells like wet wool. We cannot stress this enough.

Comments

Tavern

[intruthandlove]

[Diana does not shoulder her way through the room so much as space is made. Even sopping wet and in second hand clothes, she has an air to her- royalty and warrior seamlessly blended together.

Still she gives as much ground as she is given, at least till she can work her way over to what looks to be a surprisingly open spot by the fire. She's relieved for the chance to shuck her sodden boots and cloak and the loose, now uncomfortable shirt. She should have worn her Wonder Woman uniform underneath, but that might have caused more of a stir than if she stripped down naked right here. She doesn't notice the small woman til she's looking for a place to drape her things, but when she does, Diana smiles, friendly and warm. ]

I'm sorry, I didn't see you there. Would you mind if I set my things down to dry?

[ipseite]

( Petrana shifts, contriving to take up less space - not that she takes up much, little enough to go unnoticed and accustomed to it enough that she doesn't question Diana; ) Not at all, madam.

( Her manner is not unfriendly, but there's a polished quality to it, woman as cut stone. Warmth that might have been practised in front of a mirror to be sure it looked real; a lady's gift and grace. A lady's poison, too. )

You are, I think, as strange to them as I.

( Stranger, probably, when women like Petrana walk Orlais and none of them are quite like Diana, but she means not of Thedas and it invites friendly conspiracy without, actually, giving much in return. )

[intruthandlove]

Call me Diana, please. [ The name is given easily and without demand for a return. Undaunted by the polished politeness and distant warmth. She has been in the wider world long enough to become familiar with the sort of armor women wear.

She kneels to set out her shirt and cloak, firelight dancing on the silver bracelets on her forearms. Her tiara is hidden away, but there are some parts of her that are more identity than armor. She looks up, back at the woman, a smile curling the edge of her mouth. ]

Perhaps stranger. [Echoing Petrana's thought without knowing it, if only because it is more the truth than she may realize. ] I have been a stranger in strange lands for so long, I can hardly tell what parts of me are the odd ones. You're not a local then?

[ipseite]

( She gives her own name, ) Petrana, ( in exchange, not begrudgingly. If there's a title to go with it, she shows no inclination to demand its courtesies. )

Of Cedoux, in Lamorre. It is as far from here as a place can be, I must suppose.

( It has been years since she saw Cedoux, regardless; she doesn't harbor any illusions she would have seen it from anything but a pyre, were she there. If it were her husband's royal blood protected him from such a death, that protection would not extend to his bride.

If. She's wondered, a little, at the wisdom of letting him live. If someone had not imagined another ending--

but it is with evident equanimity that she regards her new circumstances, all of that aside. )

[intruthandlove]

Not a land I've heard of, I'm afraid. [ Clothing settled to dry, Diana settles herself. The leather of her pants clings and her hair is a tangled, rain soaked mess, but at least she can soak up a little warmth for the fire. ]

One might have wished for a drier welcome to these strange new lands.

[ipseite]

It is only water.

( There are worse things in the world than water - like fire, for example - and, if she's heard correctly all she's listened to today, many of them not far hence and spoiling for the opportunity to ruin everyone's day. Her blithe response is of a piece with the way she takes Diana's ignorance of her homeland - pleasant lack of surprise, even preference.

She might have continued very differently, if -

but if Diana had known Cedoux, she'd have known Petrana. And no one here knows Petrana. )

We dry, don't we?