TEST DRIVE MEME!

[faderifting]

WHEN SKYHOLD'S GONE THEY'LL BEAR ON

HINTERLANDS ARE FOREVER

How’s the weather, Inquisition? Terrible. Heavy rainfall pelts the plains and the mountains, four straight days of it! Dark clouds block out the sun. It may begin to feel like there’s no end to the storms in sight. When darkness falls, cold evening temperatures turn that rain frigid. Your boots, your socks, they’re soaked through. Everyone smells like wet wool.

And as if all that weren’t enough: the increased rainfall loosens patches of mud and shale, causing mudslides.

---

1. We’re not in Orzammar anymore…

A recent group of dwarven traders bearing fine crafts and goods were inbound for Skyhold, ready to flood the markets with their wares. Instead, they got flooded out.

Yes, word has reached the Inquisition that the traders have been unfortunately detained by the weather and they are now in need of a rescue. Dare you venture out into the lashing rain and sliding mud to rescue the traders?

If you do so dare, you’ll find some of the traders to be exceedingly grateful for your efforts, ready to bestow handsome rewards on you, O Brave Soul -- just as soon as you’ve escorted them safely back to Skyhold. Or you might find a cluster of more disagreeable traders, grumpy at the water in their boots and the loss of their goods. Some of those goods might still be rescuable, if you want to wade out into a mud field to retrieve a fallen chest, or tug an errant terrified donkey back onto what’s passing for dry road these days.

As you carry these treasures back to their masters, or back to Skyhold, you might consider helping yourself to a sampling of the wares on your way back. After all, your reward might not be adequate, and you are risking your life for these ungrateful sons of mothers. Just don’t get caught. These traders don’t look kindly on thieves, and frayed tempers snap easily.

Feel free to get stuck on your way to the rescue, too. Weather out the storm with a fellow do-gooder. These days, the rescuers might need rescuing just as much.

2. Are you mad? That’s twelve year old scotch!

In Skyhold and the surrounding tent towns, what with the confusion and the panic and the scramble for high ground, market stalls are left unattended and wares are ripe for the taking. For some, temptation proves to be too much. Where there’s disaster, there’s often looting! A few vendors defend their own wares, and those that can’t make desperate entreaties for assistance. Bandits! Thieves!

Are you a brave and hale friend to the Inquisition and to good honest trade, ready to defend the wares of the waterlogged merchants? Or maybe your sticky fingers spot a tempting treasure too great to ignore. If they didn’t want it stolen, they should have taken it with them! Watch out for that Qunari metalsmith with the mean right hook. He’s not to be trifled with, and his blow will leave you toothless in the mud.

3. I gotta go, Julia, we got bears.

The rainfall has disturbed more than the mud. Bears, resting in their caves, have found their caves to be too damp for their liking, and they’ve taken to the open air to vent their spleens. Some people say that the bears are as frightened as you are, but when you’re faced with a six hundred pound beast with huge pointy teeth, their innocence is a little harder to keep in perspective.

The tents surrounding greater Skyhold are especially worried by rogue bears. Make a stand against them, or else help evacuate a threatened campsite. Mudwrestling a bear is a great way to impress the ladies, or the gentlemen… but no one will blame you for beating a hasty retreat.

4. We got 12 skins of water, 56 ales, two vodkas, four whiskeys, six bottles of wine, tequila, hazelnut paste, cheese, bread, eggs, bananas, apples, bacon, steaks, pancakes, dry grain, milk, sweet tomato sauce, half a pudding, half-ounce Sour Wine, 3 1/2 grams Grand Inquisitor Kush, one ounce of 'shrooms, 15 ecstasy potions, a smutty woodcut, a bat…

TIME TO HUNKER DOWN. In the tavern, the barkeep is handing out free spiced wine to anyone who takes refuge behind her door. The din of conversation and lutesong makes a fine lullabye for the careworn traveler, and you might find yourself inadvertently dropping off to sleep. Or maybe someone’s fallen asleep on you.

Who can blame the slumberers, finally safe and warm and dry? In the tavern, the fires have been built up to ward off the chill and the damp, but relaxation is a little more difficult these days. You really have to elbow your way in there to get close to that warmth. Once you get close enough, you’ll find that the hearths are taken up with dozens and dozens of wet socks and wetter boots, steaming gently as they dry. Be disgusted if you want, or else peel off your own and go barefoot while you wait.

Hey! What’s going on over there? Someone’s taking one of your socks! Stop, thief!

If you can’t make it to the tavern, you might find yourself holed up somewhere a little more unlikely. The limited space within Skyhold means there aren’t a lot of free rooms. That door you shoulder open in desperation might have an owner already. Intrusions aren’t always unwelcome, but beware of what -- or who! -- you might find.

5. Lots of fish… and lots of weather.

WILDCARD. Whatever you do, just remember: there’s a lot of rain, you’re very wet, and if you’re feeling amorous, keep in mind that everyone smells like wet wool. We cannot stress this enough.

Comments

[ipseite]

( Her fingers pause in the act of unlacing herself from her bodice; it is not a pause to thank him for, when the driving rain has left them so stiff and cold as to make the entire process rather more difficult and uncomfortable than it ordinarily is. When it is already far from her preferred way of doing things, so public and undefended as this is, relying only on the way that they are all affected by the harsh weather to protect her against anyone getting ideas. )

I'd not recommend it, sir,

( when she can think of something to say. )

It is bitter out there. I only mean to dry my things -

[taxonomy]

Right.

[There are moments Tavin envies turtles. This is one of those moments. It's just that this isn't exactly the sort of establishment one pictures ladies in unless they're with a larger party, even then she'd be ushered off upstairs no doubt.]

Are you travelling alone, my lady? And I'm so sorry, I haven't introduced myself I'm Tavin, actually it's Octavian Sokolov but please, just call me Tavin, I never get called my name. Only my parents. Lecturers. Nobles.

[Tavin that means you do indeed get called by your name and you have drawings of animal entrails out on the table but he trips over his feet to pull out a chair for her because he knows both his parents would deliver a brisk clip to the back of his head for forgetting his manners so terribly.]

[ipseite]

( She'd so much prefer that; the men in the employ of her husband who shadow her steps and enforce the space she's grown accustomed to having, who'd have seen to it she and perhaps a maid were given one of the rooms, who'd take up position either side of a door and let her have peace. There would be a fire for her, and no strangers she didn't wish to speak to -

but she is here, and must make the best of it. She narrowly avoids startling when he fetches her a chair; does not forget herself so much not to say, )

Thank you, sir. My name is-

( mmm? )

- you must call me Petra if I'm to call you Tavin.

( A small smile- a good effort. )

I - I came through a rift, they tell me. I suppose that I travel now with the Inquisition, but in effect, alone.

[taxonomy]

[The fit his parents would throw. Maybe his brother. (When did he last actually see his brother? Lots of letters about Tavin's adventures but very little of them being in the room together because why would he need to go back home?) Although there are noble daughters who study in his field but they don't dress the part now.

Three weeks squelching through bogs or cutting through forests and they all look and smell very much the same which is to say very much like no one's idea of fit or noble company whatsoever.]

You-- Oh my! Blessed Andraste you came through one! [Tavin's good enough to remember himself and not shout but what unexpected luck! To meet someone already touched by the very thing that has drawn him away from where he had been working.] Was it far from here? I should-- Maker where are my things…

[Say hi to tiny wooden Andraste on the table, her features worn away as he finds some dry papers to work with.]

I hope to study them. Not the rifts but what they do to what surrounds them, the wildlife-- so to meet you my-- Petra, you cannot-- [Please talk so he doesn't keep doing this it's very embarrassing and he's aware but doesn't actually know how not to.]

[ipseite]

It is flooded, ( she cautions, more bemused than alarmed; he reminds her for a moment of Marius in kinder times, swept up in his strange fascinations. There is less stillness, but the same single-mindedness, and she had never been able to penetrate that, either, so her effort to dissuade him is perhaps less energetic than might come from someone less accustomed to failing. ) You'll not find it again tonight. Perhaps -

( How does she keep him from running out into the rain. )

If only you'll wait for me to arrange my things, ( finally, ) we might make a map together. I remember the way - I paid close attention.

( On the off chance that at some point she might need to run, yes. )

[taxonomy]

I did promise my horse he could rest. Adalberto comes from stock in warmer lands, this sort of weather means he's, ah, he's disagreeable? More likely to bite me if I try to saddle him again. [Possibly likely to kick him in the head too if he tries tonight and he does need a horse that isn't afraid of anything to stay on his good side for as long as is possible.

(Nevermind that most people don't actually promise their horses things because they feel bad.)]

Of course, of course, please, sit and get warm, this sort of weather at this time of year? It is Ferelden but it's unseasonable, fortunately there's little to study that would send anyone out here. [Exile the unfortunate students to the Hinterlands cough.] Are you headed to the Inquisition? I had heard that they had many people who had come through rifts there already, I am sure they would offer you assistance. There was a camp I saw on my way here, if you would like we could-- I mean I could escort you there? Come morning.