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allthisshitisweird2017-04-21 11:07 pm
faderifting) wrote in allthisshitisweird2017-04-21 11:07 pm
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TEST DRIVE MEME!
WHEN SKYHOLD'S GONE THEY'LL BEAR ON
How’s the weather, Inquisition? Terrible. Heavy rainfall pelts the plains and the mountains, four straight days of it! Dark clouds block out the sun. It may begin to feel like there’s no end to the storms in sight. When darkness falls, cold evening temperatures turn that rain frigid. Your boots, your socks, they’re soaked through. Everyone smells like wet wool.
And as if all that weren’t enough: the increased rainfall loosens patches of mud and shale, causing mudslides.
1. We’re not in Orzammar anymore…
2. Are you mad? That’s twelve year old scotch!
3. I gotta go, Julia, we got bears.
4. We got 12 skins of water, 56 ales, two vodkas, four whiskeys, six bottles of wine, tequila, hazelnut paste, cheese, bread, eggs, bananas, apples, bacon, steaks, pancakes, dry grain, milk, sweet tomato sauce, half a pudding, half-ounce Sour Wine, 3 1/2 grams Grand Inquisitor Kush, one ounce of 'shrooms, 15 ecstasy potions, a smutty woodcut, a bat…
5. Lots of fish… and lots of weather.
HINTERLANDS ARE FOREVER
How’s the weather, Inquisition? Terrible. Heavy rainfall pelts the plains and the mountains, four straight days of it! Dark clouds block out the sun. It may begin to feel like there’s no end to the storms in sight. When darkness falls, cold evening temperatures turn that rain frigid. Your boots, your socks, they’re soaked through. Everyone smells like wet wool.
And as if all that weren’t enough: the increased rainfall loosens patches of mud and shale, causing mudslides.
1. We’re not in Orzammar anymore…
A recent group of dwarven traders bearing fine crafts and goods were inbound for Skyhold, ready to flood the markets with their wares. Instead, they got flooded out.
Yes, word has reached the Inquisition that the traders have been unfortunately detained by the weather and they are now in need of a rescue. Dare you venture out into the lashing rain and sliding mud to rescue the traders?
If you do so dare, you’ll find some of the traders to be exceedingly grateful for your efforts, ready to bestow handsome rewards on you, O Brave Soul -- just as soon as you’ve escorted them safely back to Skyhold. Or you might find a cluster of more disagreeable traders, grumpy at the water in their boots and the loss of their goods. Some of those goods might still be rescuable, if you want to wade out into a mud field to retrieve a fallen chest, or tug an errant terrified donkey back onto what’s passing for dry road these days.
As you carry these treasures back to their masters, or back to Skyhold, you might consider helping yourself to a sampling of the wares on your way back. After all, your reward might not be adequate, and you are risking your life for these ungrateful sons of mothers. Just don’t get caught. These traders don’t look kindly on thieves, and frayed tempers snap easily.
Feel free to get stuck on your way to the rescue, too. Weather out the storm with a fellow do-gooder. These days, the rescuers might need rescuing just as much.
2. Are you mad? That’s twelve year old scotch!
In Skyhold and the surrounding tent towns, what with the confusion and the panic and the scramble for high ground, market stalls are left unattended and wares are ripe for the taking. For some, temptation proves to be too much. Where there’s disaster, there’s often looting! A few vendors defend their own wares, and those that can’t make desperate entreaties for assistance. Bandits! Thieves!
Are you a brave and hale friend to the Inquisition and to good honest trade, ready to defend the wares of the waterlogged merchants? Or maybe your sticky fingers spot a tempting treasure too great to ignore. If they didn’t want it stolen, they should have taken it with them! Watch out for that Qunari metalsmith with the mean right hook. He’s not to be trifled with, and his blow will leave you toothless in the mud.
3. I gotta go, Julia, we got bears.
The rainfall has disturbed more than the mud. Bears, resting in their caves, have found their caves to be too damp for their liking, and they’ve taken to the open air to vent their spleens. Some people say that the bears are as frightened as you are, but when you’re faced with a six hundred pound beast with huge pointy teeth, their innocence is a little harder to keep in perspective.
The tents surrounding greater Skyhold are especially worried by rogue bears. Make a stand against them, or else help evacuate a threatened campsite. Mudwrestling a bear is a great way to impress the ladies, or the gentlemen… but no one will blame you for beating a hasty retreat.
4. We got 12 skins of water, 56 ales, two vodkas, four whiskeys, six bottles of wine, tequila, hazelnut paste, cheese, bread, eggs, bananas, apples, bacon, steaks, pancakes, dry grain, milk, sweet tomato sauce, half a pudding, half-ounce Sour Wine, 3 1/2 grams Grand Inquisitor Kush, one ounce of 'shrooms, 15 ecstasy potions, a smutty woodcut, a bat…
TIME TO HUNKER DOWN. In the tavern, the barkeep is handing out free spiced wine to anyone who takes refuge behind her door. The din of conversation and lutesong makes a fine lullabye for the careworn traveler, and you might find yourself inadvertently dropping off to sleep. Or maybe someone’s fallen asleep on you.
Who can blame the slumberers, finally safe and warm and dry? In the tavern, the fires have been built up to ward off the chill and the damp, but relaxation is a little more difficult these days. You really have to elbow your way in there to get close to that warmth. Once you get close enough, you’ll find that the hearths are taken up with dozens and dozens of wet socks and wetter boots, steaming gently as they dry. Be disgusted if you want, or else peel off your own and go barefoot while you wait.
Hey! What’s going on over there? Someone’s taking one of your socks! Stop, thief!
If you can’t make it to the tavern, you might find yourself holed up somewhere a little more unlikely. The limited space within Skyhold means there aren’t a lot of free rooms. That door you shoulder open in desperation might have an owner already. Intrusions aren’t always unwelcome, but beware of what -- or who! -- you might find.
5. Lots of fish… and lots of weather.
WILDCARD. Whatever you do, just remember: there’s a lot of rain, you’re very wet, and if you’re feeling amorous, keep in mind that everyone smells like wet wool. We cannot stress this enough.
no subject
[Feja flings her arms open in greeting and breaks out into a huge smile. Not a moment of the day goes by that she's not working some business scheme or another. Hell, she even has her ways of having her workers stay on top of sales when the dwarf finally falls into her bed at night.
She yoinks one bottle of the lichen ale she was just peddling out of the crate and grins at the barkeep. Who's going to argue with the merchant keeping a sample of the merchandise when she's letting it go for so little? That's right, no one who wants cheap product to resale.]
You know me, a moment resting is a lost profit. Can't have that.
no subject
...and you know, helping save the world when I'm sober. It's something to do.
[Korrin flashes a grin, though she won't be hankering for Feja to share any of that particular ale. Dwarven brews never taste like anything but dirty socks to her, so she's welcome to all of it.]
Yeah, but what's the point of profit if you don't get to enjoy it? Take a moment to kick back and enjoy the fruits of all that honest labor. I swear you won't run out of opportunities for more, not here.
no subject
Oh why not? It's dry in here and the brutes are still hanging by the wagon in the dark and rain. Feja slides into a chair at Korrin's table. The ale is popped open and a large chug goes down the hatch. Ahhhh yeah this is good, take a load off for five minutes.]
Glad to hear it. I'm always looking for new opportunities and lines of business. [Another drink. Damn good. And free! Thank you folks for bringing it topside then leaving it behind.] But what's this saving the world? There can't be good coin in that. ...can there?
[Because if she thinks for one minute she can turn a profit working this world saving business she'll jump in feet first.]
no subject
There can be -not what the Inquisition pays- but there's a lot of shit to be found in the places we go, no matter how awful. Emprise du Lion, for example? Worse place for a village ever, but there's silverite, dawnstone and dragon hide in spades among the red lyrium, Red Templars and rifts. Of course you have to kill the dragons first, but that's what friends dragon-slaying runes are for. As long as you're careful, there's worse ways to make a living.
[Korrin's no merchant, though, she just has the pragmatic mindset that materials are meant to be used and it'd be a shame for them to go to waste. Why not use them for a good cause?]
no subject
She also drops delicious tidbits of information like that to whet the appetite. Any of those materials, Feja could hawk for hefty purses of sovereigns and that right there makes her smile. Not that she means to go challenging a dragon to get them understand. She bursts out laughing and slaps the table with delight.]
Tell you what, next time you go off to slay a dragon, invite me along. I'll trade you all the salves you could use for rights to go picking through the field afterwards. We can even split the proceeds.
[Unlikely to be a 50/50 split but then Feja's fronting the restoratives and plotting to do the bulk of the selling. She deserves a bigger cut for her contribution.]
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Sure, why not. Since I'm doing the slaying, though, I get first dibs on dragon-tier armor materials. I can't survive on shit armor, or armor that's thoroughly trashed. [Besides, she wants to have dragonhide clothing made for certain others.] Oh, and I don't know how much of a difference this'll make, but they're sending the majority of us to Kirkwall. Andraste's tits, I need a refill just reminding myself of that.
no subject
Ehhhhhh, fair's fair, though that Tranquil tells me dragon teeth make good medicines.
[Eoran did not tell Feja anything of the sort, but it sounds good and believable. C'mon Korrin, you can't hog all the dragon bits, can you? Please don't.
The hint for a refill gets Feja to raise her voice and beckon to the barkeep.]
Hey! A refill over here for my friend!
So what's this about going to Kirkwall? [The dwarf's eyes glitter, at the prospect of fresh customers.] Kirkwall's a shithole, I should know.
no subject