TEST DRIVE MEME!

[faderifting]

TEST DRIVE MEME

Maybe you’ve been around for a while, or maybe you’re new to the Inquisition. Maybe you’re new to Thedas, having recently fallen from a tear in reality and been collected by uniformed rescuers. Whoever you are, you’ve been sent to Kirkwall, to an outpost where many of the Inquisition’s members and allies work on some of the biggest mysteries and problems the organization must solve if it’d like to keep the world from ending, where “ending” means “falling under the power of an ancient powerful corrupted being who wants everyone to bow to him as a god.”

And just to be clear, it would like that. It would like that a lot.

I. THE GALLOWS: The Gallows is an island fortress in Kirkwall’s harbor. It’s been home to, in order: Tevinter slaves, a Circle of Magi, a lot of creepy red lyrium, and now the Inquisition, which has occupied the fortress with the provisional Viscount’s blessing. There are walls that still need rebuilding and corners that still need dusting, but for the most part the Inquisition has gotten down to business. There’s space in the stone-floored courtyards to train or spar; or, if your skills don’t lie in the realm of hitting things, there’s a large library and several offices supporting the Inquisition’s areas of research and diplomatic efforts. If you don’t know what to do with yourself, then by all means, ask; someone will definitely be able to put you to work.

II. KIRKWALL: A quick row across the harbor will take you to Kirkwall proper. The city is built into the cliffs, from exclusive and wealthy Hightown at the top to impoverished Darktown in the abandoned mining tunnels below. In the middle is Lowtown, home to taverns, merchants, and plenty of trouble to keep anyone looking for it happy. You’re welcome to spend your free time and your money here—but try not to annoy the locals too much, please, in case their welcome runs out. It’d be a shame to have to pack again so soon after arriving.

III. QUESTING: Barely had time to make yourself at home, did you, before you were sent away from Kirkwall again—but this time on a mission. There’s a rift outside of Markham, pouring demons into the fields, and the Inquisition has been asked to lend a hand. Maybe literally. If you have an anchor embedded in your palm, you’re needed to close the damn thing. If not, maybe you’re here to fight demons or guard against bandits on the road, or to gather samples and take notes on the rift’s location once its closed, or to speak to Markham’s nobility afterwards to make sure that they fully appreciate the Inquisition’s efforts. Regardless, it’s a long trip, so we hope you like campfire cooking and sharing a tent.

IV. SENDING CRYSTAL: Joining the Inquisition gets you access to the very latest in barely-understood magical communication devices—namely, a crystal, small enough to wear around your neck, that will allow you to communicate verbally with anyone else who has one. Or everyone else who has one. Say hello.

V. WILDCARD: The whole of Thedas is yours to explore, from coast to uncharted wilderness. Choose your own adventure!

Comments

[bad_thief]

"Yeah yeah yeah mom, okay," Haelan says, trying not to role his eyes. But he knows Adasse is doing what Adasse always does, watching out for him, looking after him. He will be more careful, he knows he should be. And he doesn't want Adasse to have to come rescue him again because he made some stupid mistake. He doesn't want to hear the I-told-you-sos. "And I don't have a baby face."

"I'm not buying them rounds. Just you. How much money do you think I've got?" Not enough to buy drinks for the crowd in the Hanged Man anyway, and he wouldn't want to. Some of the regulars in there were okay, but some of them didn't much like him, and they didn't like Adasse either. He glances at his friend, and briefly wonders if there's an elfy drinking den he'd prefer.

He's about to ask when the hand combs into his hair and Haelan has to bat it away. "Get off, you ass. Coco, you do something about him!" Not that the little nug will, of course, but there's no one else that can come to Haelan's defence.

They're not far from one of the wells, or maybe they used to be light-shafts, that lead back up into Lowtown, near the docks. He stops, and looks pointedly at his friend. "You ran... all the way from Hightown, all the way down here because you thought I was in trouble?"

That's nice. Haelan would do the same, if he thought Adasse ever needed his help that badly, but Adasse has a way with him. He's smart and quick and handsome, so he can normally escape most situations. Haelan normally just gets in the way. But this whole thing is a bit mushy, and so he sticks out his tongue, and then scrambles up the worn hand-holds up to the surface.

"Yeah yeah. You got it bad mate. Real bad."

[gottakeeponejumpahead]

"Call me 'Mom' again and I'll box your ears." Adasse threatened with a good measure of elbowing his friend in the side, "And yes, you do. Don't be sad about it - it's bread and butter."

"Not enough to buy rounds for all the drunks in the Hanged Man, that's for damned sure." He drawled, hands hooking back into the rope belt around his breeches. He wouldn't either - they called Haelan enough names to his back and Adasse twice as many to his face - but still. Never a hand lifted, never a fight started. It was worth it for that.

And no way was he taking Haelan to the speakeasy in the Alienage. He'd get the same treatment that Adasse did in the human pubs. Best go where both of them were tolerated.

"Hah!" He went to ruffle his curls again, but Coco stuck his nose in his face, and he had to back away to laugh at the nug. "I see how it is, defending his honor. For shame, Coco. Turning against your loving Adasse!"

The nug just sort of nuzzled in, and he stroked the creature as he carefully put him down his shirt, so he could climb the shaft without worrying about Coco falling off.

He looked ovar at Haelan, dark eyes narrowing, ".... Yeah, that's what best friends do - oi!" He smacked the back of Haelan's leg. "I like men, not twiggy boys who jump their way into trouble!" He mock growled as he started to climb up after the other boy.

[bad_thief]

Haelan makes another face. He doesn't so much mind the threat- he deserves that- and the same with the gentle elbowing. But he doesn't like the reminder about his puppy fat. He knows it's got him out of scrapes before, it just doesn't mean he likes it.

Names they can deal with. Adasse gets more than his fair share, and it's not right, but it would be worse if it was blows or beatings. The two of them probably couldn't fight off everyone in there, not even if they were all completely pissed.

Haelan'd like to think he'd be alright in the alienage. He's still a shem, but he gets that if they want a space without humans in it, that's okay. There's enough places in this city who don't want elves. Which is stupid, considering they live in the city too.

"Coco, I owe you!" Haelan calls, although he's well aware that Coco is only looking to get Adasse's attention for his own ends. Still, it worked out well enough, and the timing was perfect. He'd have to find the little nug some sort of treat, as a thank you.

He laughs again as he reaches the top of the ladder, and balancing carefully, pushes up the wooden cover over the well, and clambering out.

"Who are you calling twiggy, you beanpole?" He asks, offering a hand to help Adasse up and out of the shadows. The smell of the docks seems fresh in comparison to the pit they've just left, which is saying something. But it's nice to have a bit of space around them, even if it is only the twisting streets of Lowtown. "That's just cruel. You can't declare your love for me like that and then be cruel. It's mixed messages."

[gottakeeponejumpahead]

Adasse gave him the lazy kind of smirk that stated that he knew his friend was annoyed by the teasing -- and it was well worth it. Especially since he knew how easily Haelan would snag him later all on his own.

Names were just that, names. Adasse worried more about chairs, daggers and if they were really up shit's creek, an apostate.

And if he was going to be honest? He sort of liked it like that. They were all in the same city, living the same lives, but only in the pub was there any kind of equal footing.

Coco chittered from inside of Adasse's shirt, and he smirked down at the nug, patting his nose. "Troublemaker."

Then he's following hand over hand, letting Haelan pull him to his feet. Breathing deep, smelling the salt air and the fish. It was better than Dark Town. Another elbow. "Calling you twiggy, knock-knees. At least I'm filled in."

Another smirk, and then a push. "Of course I can. Haven't you ever heard of a coquette? All the rage in Orlais."

[bad_thief]

Getting Adasse back later is a real possibility. But Haelan will think about it later, when he's got some time to think up some really good ideas. Where to hide Adasse's trousers, or what to put in his beer. Or what to dress Coco in. Although dressing Coco in stupid outfits always backfires: whatever weird costume he puts the nug in, the nug still looks cute. It's a strange talent.

No one likes an apostate. You'd think with the Inquisition around, there wouldn't be so many out of control mages in the city. They might not actually be out of control at that moment, but without Templars around to keep an eye on them, there's no knowing what they might do. The attack on the Chantry, the only real home Haelan had ever known- is still very fresh in his memory. It's certainly not worth fighting an apostate. Or even sitting too close to one.

"You call that filled in?" Haelan looks his friend over, then shakes his head. "I don't see it personally. I mean, when people compare us? I'm the handsome one. That's what they say." He shrugs, as if this is simply a fact, he can't do anything about it.

He frowns, looking at Adasse with suspicion. "Cock-what?" He asks, as they head towards the Hanged Man. It doesn't sound too busy, but it's not that late. The place will fill up as the afternoon drags on. "Those Orlesians do some disgusting stuff. I don't care if it's fashionable, there's just some stuff you don't do with potatoes."

[gottakeeponejumpahead]

He would be better off hiding Adasse's clothes - the elf hated walking around naked. Anything with Coco and clothing was just going to get him to 'Awww' and then go show him off in Low Town. Because. Cute.

Adasse was more willing than most Dark Town folk to let the mage thing go - but that was perhaps because he was saved and raised by a Circle mage. Even now he had started sending patients back to the Healer of Dark Town. Still, he kept away from the unlisted ones. They seemed to have it out for everyone, no matter who they were.

"I call it 'lithe' and 'lanky', with tight muscles." He flexed his arm in demonstration, before his lips twitched upwards. "When people compare us, they wonder why I am corrupting my adorable little brother."

He would go further but he has stopped. Dead in his tracks to stare at Haelan. A sigh escaped Adasse's lips. "We really do need to improve on your Orlesian."

[bad_thief]

The only problem with stealing Adasse's clothes is that he will have to walk around naked. No one deserves to have to look at that. And dressing up Coco really isn't a punishment. Haelan will just have to get more creative.

Circle Mage. They're different. They're kept under control. Apostates... well, that's like comparing a well-trained mabari to a wolf, isn't it? Not that it matters, because they aren't going to upset anyone in the Hanged Man tonight. Hopefully. And if they do, they'll just have to run really fast and try to dodge any curses.

"Hmmm... nah." Haelan says, poking the flexing arm. "But you sound like you believe it, and that's the important thing, right? Having faith in yourself." He grins, a big wide grin that spreads across the (okay fine) baby face. "Corrupting me? Please. You're much better behaved than I am."

A shrug. He doesn't really care about speaking Orlesian. What he does like is putting on a terrible accent, sticking his nose in the air, and holding out his hand like a dandy. "Wee wee, speek leek an Orlesian too imprezz zee ladieez et zee sexy gentlemeenz, no?"

And then he starts laughing, unable to keep the pose, leaning into Adasse for support.

[gottakeeponejumpahead]

Excuse you Haelan, lots of people want to look at that. Just, you know, they want to pay Adasse copper and silver first and that is just not happening. He's done a lot not to starve but never that.

It was the difference of experiences, Adasse had always told Haelan, when they argued about mages. Haelan had grown up in the Chantry and all that religious mumbo-jumbo. Adasse was raised by a kindly mage named Evelina who snuck out of the Circle to make sure they had their lessons and were well-fed and taken care of. Losing her to the Templars and the Champion was what convinced Adasse to keep his friend circle small - and to not judge a person by his or her staff.

That comment is how Haelan got a wap on the side of the head, but he couldn't help but snort and then bust out laughing at Haelan's horrible accent and attitude.

"Well see, now you're getting it!" He gasps out, holding onto his friend, "You just need to get more Snot in your Snotty."

[bad_thief]

Lots of people need their heads examining. Still, he'd like Adasse to have someone nice for all that stuff. Someone who might want to give him stuff, but not to buy him. Just... because he'd like stuff. Haelan'd like to see his friend happy.

They'd grown up in very different settings, Haelan is away of that. Adasse has Evelina, Haelan had... a whole Chantry full of sisters. He's not sure who had it better. Probably him, considering he wasn't ever in real danger and never had anyone call him a knife-ear. As for religious mumbo-jumbo, Haelan doesn't do the whole Chantry thing. He just believes in the Maker. That's not mumbo-jumbo.

"Oi!" He says, although the tap on the side of his head doesn't hurt. Besides, he's pretty pleased about getting Adasse to laugh like that, wrapping his arm around Adasse's shoulders as they stagger on to the bar.

"I am zee hot caatch, mon-sewer." He says, "I doo not need zee Snot." Which makes them both snigger stupidly again, before pushing open the door with a shoulder. "

[gottakeeponejumpahead]

Well Adasse could say that would be the same for any girl whacky enough to go for a baby-faced brat ... but he only ever would in mocking. Someone was going to find out what a great man Haelan was going to become, and Adasse would shove him at every cute girl who looked back until they found her.

The Maker's there, that much Adasse knows. He's just not entirely certain whose side the Maker is on, at this point. Between Evelina being killed by the Templars and the Chantry being blown up by some mage, sort of seems like the Maker can't make up His damned mind. Adasse knew how much it had hurt Haelan to lose the Chantry sisters - it hurt him just as much to lose his parents first, then Evelina. Maybe the Maker just didn't have time to look out for the hapless orphans.

"Take what you deserve." Adasse said piously, even as he's grinning and the laughter is bubbling out of him at the continued accent. Immediately though, his gaze sweeps over the bar and finds the darkest table in the darkest corner available. "You're a hot load of it, that's what you are, Serah." He put his arm around Haelan's in turn, grinning ear from ear. "Come on, I want to get good and buzzed."

[bad_thief]

Eeeew. That sounds far too lovey-dovey and domestic, enough to make Haelan run a mile. Probably in the opposite direction to whatever poor girl is being set up with him. Maybe when he's older, the whole idea of anything more than a quick fumble will be appealing, but as it is currently, he's quite happy not to worry about any of this happily-ever-after stuff.

Who knows? The Maker is probably on his own side. After all, that's it isn't it? There's his side, or... the bad side. That's what the Inquisition is all about, right? Whatever- it's all a bit complicated and Haelan's plan is to sort it out on his deathbed, surrounded by sobbing friends and relatives. Until that point, they all had to look after themselves. Or, in his case, he could look after Adasse and Adasse could look after him.

"Alright, alright. Pint?" He drops the accent. Why they always go sit in dark corners he's not sure, because they're mostly dark with spilt beer and dirt anyway. Maybe it's because it makes them look mysterious. Maybe it's because it stops people recognising them.

Haelan goes to get the beers, and considering he's got money in his pocket, there's a bottle of something that smells like it could take the edge of metal. It'll probably help with the buzz Adasse is looking for. Then again, it might well kill them both. It's worth the risk.

"I can't trust you to teach me foreign anyway. You'll probably teach me something disgusting." Which is why the only phrase Haelan knows in Dalish is unrepeatable in public.

[gottakeeponejumpahead]

Oh, suck an egg, Haelan. Sooner or later one of them would have to settle down and it wasn't going to be Adasse. He was much better suited to be the amazing and beloved uncle, after all. Of course, right now, all they were looking for was fumbles, so fumbles they would do. Being young did have its advantages.

The Maker's side or the Bad Side. Yes, that seemed about right. Only those with power could make all the matters come out grey, but the ones on the bottom could see it. You had black, you had white, and that was that. Still, here they were, on neither side just yet. So they'd do as they did. Watching out for one another. Even if it was running half-way across the city.

"Pint!" He slapped down on the table, putting his back to the wall. They sat in the darkest corners so Adasse could keep an eye out for trouble - or business - without getting eyed in turn. That, and it did keep people from glowering at his ears ... so.

He sniffled at the bottle, made a face, and then poured himself a full measure. The last made him smirk deeply.

"Oh, probably, but hey, great for a distraction if you call an Orlesian a mother-humping nug lover." He waggled his eyebrows once. Honestly everything he had learned he'd picked up by listening and learning, which was why he knew enough Dalish to be dangerous, and enough Orlesian to know where the good stuff was hidden in the house.

[bad_thief]

Amazing and beloved uncle? That's probably going to be true. Adasse is pretty cool, and he is good with kids. And Haelan hasn't got any other siblings, real or adopted, who can out-uncle Adasse. He doubts there's many people that could, anyway.

It's easy to be Bad when you're poor. Normally you're Bad because you're dirty or you don't speak weez ze ryeet accént or because a rich person wants a fumble with you. Being Good means always being at Chantry and giving everything you have to people even worse off than you and then dying of cold in the middle of the night. Only posh people can afford to be shades of grey.

But he and Adasse are clearly on the Good side. Despite the pickpocketing and the small time cons. They can't be the Bad Guys. It's obvious.

Haelan slips down onto a chair, then picks up his pint. The beer here got better the more of it you drank, so he might as well start now.

"Yeah but if they catch you, they aren't going to let you go with a slap on the wrist." It never did any good to piss off Orlesians. They liked to make sure people stayed punished. And unlike Adasse, Haelan wasn't so good at getting out of sticky situations. "Not if you've called them a mother-humping nug lover. They'd probably not even hand all of you over to the guards."

Besides... "And if the Inquisition heard about it, I don't think they'd be happy either."