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allthisshitisweird2016-02-02 01:07 am
faderifting) wrote in allthisshitisweird2016-02-02 01:07 am
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TEST DRIVE MEME!
What if there is no tomorrow?
Only more Hinterlands
Maybe the Inquisition sent you, maybe you came seeking the Inquisition. Maybe you fell out of a rift into this world last week and are still just trying to find your feet. However it happened, the first days of the new year find you in the Hinterlands. Tucked between Ferelden's massive Lake Calenhad and the icy Frostback Mountains, the Hinterlands are a hilly region covered in patchy forests and small farms trying to eke out a living between the boulders. Though somewhat remote, the area is rich with game and minerals and home to Redcliffe, a bustling town on a busy trade route.
Lately the Hinterlands have also been full of mages and templars and rifts, all threatening to turn once-peaceful countryside into a dangerous warzone. The Inquisition has set up several camps and sent personnel to try to restore order to the region, unwilling to let it slip into chaos. There's a lot to be done, some of it straightforward killing bad things, some of it weird and nebulous morale-building.
STILL WITH ADDED SNOW AND NOW ALSO ADDED KINDNESS TO ANIMALS (MOSTLY).
1. IF I GET SCARED, YOU'RE ALWAYS AROUND
You have turned the wrong corner in the snow, forded the wrong stream in the snow, crested the wrong hill in the snow, entered the wrong cave in the snow. Maybe you are far from camp, in the snow. Maybe you are in camp, which is also snowy. Whatever has happened, wherever you are: you are being chased through the snow by bears. Did you throw a snowball at the bears? Are they huge and snow-dusted? Babies burrowing through the snow drifts and coming for your ankles? Fade-touched in addition to snow-touched? Controlled by cold mages who are hiding in the snow? Popping up out of the snow like a game of whack-a-mole? What are they chasing you away from in all of this snow? What are they chasing you into, other than more snow? What warm things do you plan to make out of their hide if you kill them in the snow? What do you think they'll craft out of your hide if they kill you in the snow? P.S. It's still snowy.
2. THEY SAY WE'RE YOUNG AND WE DON'T KNOW
The Inquisition has, possibly, been a little too good at dealing with the Hinterlands' bear problem, and a group of concerned citizens--including young burgeoning naturalists, farmers concerned about the effect an unchecked population of rams may have on their crops come spring, and at least one woman who claims to be directly descended from bears--has taken issue. Maybe they're blocking your character's attempt to enter a bear-infested area. Maybe they've doused your character in bear blood. Maybe the bears they have been working so hard to save have cornered them in the wilderness and they're changing their tunes.
3. WITH YOU I CAN'T GO WRONG
The Inquisition's (cough Leliana's) habit of communicating by raven works out fine, usually, but this particular raven has gone a little rogue. It's not the raven's fault! She's young, she's trying. But she has very important information tied to her leg, and instead of delivering it, she's joined a flock of identical wild ravens to hunt for food in the snow. Recover her, somehow, without hurting her and making any spymistresses angry.
4. BEFORE IT'S EARNED, OUR MONEY'S ALL BEEN SPENT
The tavern at Redcliffe remains as busy as ever, filled with locals, travelers, and Inquisition members. But this month in addition to the usual free-flowing ale and rowdy conversation there is also a contest going on. Bakers have come from across the Hinterlands bearing their very best in an effort to win a coveted ribbon and the title of Best Cake. They pack the tavern and spill out into the surrounding courtyard when the weather allows, cakes sold off tables, out of packs, small chunks given away to whoever is passing and not paying enough attention to refuse. The votes are carefully guarded by several serious looking fellows in the back corner of the tavern. In addition to traffic issues, the cake madness has also caused an infestation of large local rodents, who have appeared out of their holes to devour the many crumbs. Legend has it that if they can be humanely eradicated from the tavern before the final vote is cast, spring will come early. No one in living memory has succeeded, but you are strongly encouraged to try anyway.
5. AIN'T NO HILL OR MOUNTAIN WE CAN'T CLIMB
Hunt game so you can rescue it before other hunters get there, kill demons or maybe just try to hug it out?, dig under the snow for herbs or plant some of your own to replace what others have taken, track bandits through the snow and see if they need a hand, deal with someone charging extortionist coat prices now that it's snowing and convince them to do the right thing, fall off a deceptively tall rock into the snow and admit it was your own fault, get lost circling the same hill ten times trying to find a way up to the weird glowing skull on a stick you can see is up there in the snow so that you can give it a decent burial, climb trees or abandoned towers covered in snow and be careful not to knock them down, rummage around in empty homes to get out of the snow but leave a nice apology note, run from a dragon in the snow and promise not to trespass on its territory again, definitely don't kill any fennec foxes, set up camp and chat around the fire about your feelings because it's snowy and cold, give yourself a pat on the back (figuratively, or even literally if that's more your speed)-- the Hinterlands are your playground.
yyyy always
[ Matt holds onto the cage as the bird squawks unhappily. Sorry, bird, your holiday is over. ]
Have to love the Inquisition, always putting their resources to good use.
[ Bitter? Him? No way. ]
THE (ACCIDENTAL) SEDUCING OF MATTHIEU MURDOCK: A PREMIER BY BRUCE (NOT BANNER)
Sister Nightingale needs her birds to do what she does. [He tries his best to soothe Matthieu's rankled nerves.] I'm sure you were asked because they knew you'd get this done quickly.
[Why Bruce is here, though, he will never know.]
ooh la la
[ Nah, he's 100% sarcastic, he's just complaining because maybe this is the why Bruce is here. To get Matt out into the Hinterlands. ]
such scandal
Another skill to add onto the list. [He says with a smaller, more genuine smile.]
it could happen tbh matthieu doesn't do normal
Soon they'll have me herding cattle. [ He really does not, ever, want to do that. ]
I think the smell alone would be my undoing.
watch bruce be oblivious the whole way...
Be glad then that the Inquisition content themselves with their mounts.
[Never worry about having to herd any kind of cattle, Matthieu.]
the blind leading the blind am I right???
I'll be happy so long as I don't have to go near them longer than it takes to get to Skyhold. The smell of wet dog around here is bad enough.
[ FERELDEN IS KINDA GROSS I mean Matt's mostly kidding about the wet dog smell, it's just his job as an Orlesian to point it out. ]
so true
Bruce lets out a small laugh at the words, and the wry smile appears on his face again.]
There could always be worse things to smell of.
[As Matthieu can probably already guess.]
I couldn't not
[ Matthieu suppresses a shudder. ]
As you say... I've seen some shit. Metaphorically speaking.
:')
[What with the civil war and the mage/templar in-fighting. Everyone's affected, one way or another.]
no subject
[ Yep, the world's going to hell. ]
Doesn't excuse the smell, though.
no subject
It certainly doesn't change that.