allthisshitisweird | TEST DRIVE MEME!

What if there is no tomorrow?

Only more Hinterlands

Maybe the Inquisition sent you, maybe you came seeking the Inquisition. Maybe you fell out of a rift into this world last week and are still just trying to find your feet. However it happened, the first days of the new year find you in the Hinterlands. Tucked between Ferelden's massive Lake Calenhad and the icy Frostback Mountains, the Hinterlands are a hilly region covered in patchy forests and small farms trying to eke out a living between the boulders. Though somewhat remote, the area is rich with game and minerals and home to Redcliffe, a bustling town on a busy trade route.

Lately the Hinterlands have also been full of mages and templars and rifts, all threatening to turn once-peaceful countryside into a dangerous warzone. The Inquisition has set up several camps and sent personnel to try to restore order to the region, unwilling to let it slip into chaos. There's a lot to be done, some of it straightforward killing bad things, some of it weird and nebulous morale-building.

STILL WITH ADDED SNOW AND NOW ALSO ADDED KINDNESS TO ANIMALS (MOSTLY).

1. IF I GET SCARED, YOU'RE ALWAYS AROUND

You have turned the wrong corner in the snow, forded the wrong stream in the snow, crested the wrong hill in the snow, entered the wrong cave in the snow. Maybe you are far from camp, in the snow. Maybe you are in camp, which is also snowy. Whatever has happened, wherever you are: you are being chased through the snow by bears. Did you throw a snowball at the bears? Are they huge and snow-dusted? Babies burrowing through the snow drifts and coming for your ankles? Fade-touched in addition to snow-touched? Controlled by cold mages who are hiding in the snow? Popping up out of the snow like a game of whack-a-mole? What are they chasing you away from in all of this snow? What are they chasing you into, other than more snow? What warm things do you plan to make out of their hide if you kill them in the snow? What do you think they'll craft out of your hide if they kill you in the snow? P.S. It's still snowy.

2. THEY SAY WE'RE YOUNG AND WE DON'T KNOW

The Inquisition has, possibly, been a little too good at dealing with the Hinterlands' bear problem, and a group of concerned citizens--including young burgeoning naturalists, farmers concerned about the effect an unchecked population of rams may have on their crops come spring, and at least one woman who claims to be directly descended from bears--has taken issue. Maybe they're blocking your character's attempt to enter a bear-infested area. Maybe they've doused your character in bear blood. Maybe the bears they have been working so hard to save have cornered them in the wilderness and they're changing their tunes.

3. WITH YOU I CAN'T GO WRONG

The Inquisition's (cough Leliana's) habit of communicating by raven works out fine, usually, but this particular raven has gone a little rogue. It's not the raven's fault! She's young, she's trying. But she has very important information tied to her leg, and instead of delivering it, she's joined a flock of identical wild ravens to hunt for food in the snow. Recover her, somehow, without hurting her and making any spymistresses angry.

4. BEFORE IT'S EARNED, OUR MONEY'S ALL BEEN SPENT

The tavern at Redcliffe remains as busy as ever, filled with locals, travelers, and Inquisition members. But this month in addition to the usual free-flowing ale and rowdy conversation there is also a contest going on. Bakers have come from across the Hinterlands bearing their very best in an effort to win a coveted ribbon and the title of Best Cake. They pack the tavern and spill out into the surrounding courtyard when the weather allows, cakes sold off tables, out of packs, small chunks given away to whoever is passing and not paying enough attention to refuse. The votes are carefully guarded by several serious looking fellows in the back corner of the tavern. In addition to traffic issues, the cake madness has also caused an infestation of large local rodents, who have appeared out of their holes to devour the many crumbs. Legend has it that if they can be humanely eradicated from the tavern before the final vote is cast, spring will come early. No one in living memory has succeeded, but you are strongly encouraged to try anyway.

5. AIN'T NO HILL OR MOUNTAIN WE CAN'T CLIMB

Hunt game so you can rescue it before other hunters get there, kill demons or maybe just try to hug it out?, dig under the snow for herbs or plant some of your own to replace what others have taken, track bandits through the snow and see if they need a hand, deal with someone charging extortionist coat prices now that it's snowing and convince them to do the right thing, fall off a deceptively tall rock into the snow and admit it was your own fault, get lost circling the same hill ten times trying to find a way up to the weird glowing skull on a stick you can see is up there in the snow so that you can give it a decent burial, climb trees or abandoned towers covered in snow and be careful not to knock them down, rummage around in empty homes to get out of the snow but leave a nice apology note, run from a dragon in the snow and promise not to trespass on its territory again, definitely don't kill any fennec foxes, set up camp and chat around the fire about your feelings because it's snowy and cold, give yourself a pat on the back (figuratively, or even literally if that's more your speed)-- the Hinterlands are your playground.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

He shouldn't laugh. It would be stupid to laugh. It would be foolish to laugh.

Anders starts laughing.

Some things never change and that's a massive comfort, enough to have him this amused. Granted, he's probably about to have to face her rage, but at least he knows where there's a decent stream nearby where she can clean up.

"They're ignorant, Velanna. There's no logic to it, likely. Come on. There's a stream not fifteen minutes' walk away. We'll get you cleaned up, and they won't get set on fire. Everyone wins." Except him, when he gets set on fire in a minute here.

Anders laughing really doesn't help her mood. Although it does help redirect most of her ire in his direction, so hey. The villagers probably won't die today!

"Leave now, before I kill you all and mount your heads here as a future warning- along with his," she jerks her head in the direction of Anders, not taking her eyes off the humans until they start backing away. Then running. "Bold moves for cowards," she mutters as she watches them flee, before she turns to look at Anders. "Laughing did not help."

"It helped me." He's stopped laughing now, and he's taking a good look at her. "Maker. You've really not changed at all, have you. I'm jealous."

Anders holds out a hand, not entirely sure she'll take it. She might rip it off. He'd meant what he'd said, though. Knowing that she hasn't changed means that there are some constants in this chaotic mess of a world.

"This has to have a story, the blood, those idiots. Tell it while we walk? Unless you're about to kill me, then talk very fast."

"Why should I change when the humans insist on staying the same in spite of all that has happened?" She's hesitant for a beat when Anders holds his hand out to her, before she sighs and reaches out to mirror the gesture, grasping his hand briefly. She's changed more than she'd care to admit, really.

"You're safe, for now. As for the story... there does not seem much to tell. Humans champion themselves into the stupidest of causes." She shakes her head, absently brushing her hand over her forehead in an attempt to wipe away some of the blood, only managing to smear it more and make her hair stick at awkward angles.

He wishes some things hadn't changed, though he does appreciate the way mages can simply walk around and be freer than they had been. It's progress. If he hadn't needed to be possessed for it to happen, though, he'd be a happy man.

"Safe from you for now. Unless you've been so far away from humans you haven't heard all that's been happening. Speaking of causes." Anders nods the direction and starts walking toward the river, trusting that she'll follow. Getting clean is a powerful reason to follow someone.

"I'm going by Detlef now, incidentally. Since it may come up." There's no one in hearing range, thankfully. They have some freedom to chat.

"I've been underground," she replies, following after him without objection, even if she has to walk more quickly to keep up. "That being said, I did hear. I'd wondered what happened to you." She'd been worried was possibly more accurate, but she'd never say that out loud to him.

"Detlef? By the Creators you couldn't come up with anything better?"

"One day, one of the Wardens I introduce myself to will have been to Weisshaupt. And they'll act like it's the most ordinary name they've ever heard." He shakes his head, though his voice doesn't show any particular level of upset. "It's a common name in the Anderfels. I look like I'm from the Anderfels, for good reason. It fit."

Except nobody other than him seems to think it does. Then again, he has yet to speak to anyone Anders in Skyhold.

"And as far as what's happened to me, I'm with the Inquisition now." And braced for more comments about coming up with anything better. They're headed up a hill, but as soon as they're at the top the stream he'd mentioned will be in view.

She rolls her eyes at his explanation of the name, because she still thinks Detlef sounds absurd. Of course, she could also say that about many human names. "Humans always pick the ugliest sounds to turn into names. Anders at least had some cadence to it." She sighs, shaking her head as they walk, her ears already picking up the sounds of the stream ahead. She quickens her pace a little, but pauses when Anders mentions that he's with the Inquisition, now.

"Really? Are they protecting you, or have you avoided anyone who knows your face?"

"It's not like Anders was even my name." Though for all intents and purposes, it is now. Those who care about him know him as Anders, those who hate him do as well. There's no changing that, just as there's no changing the fact that he doesn't remember the name given him by his mother.

"And to answer your question, both. I've avoided anyone who knows my face who may hate me. The ones who know my face who do not hate me have generally offered help in various ways. ...Which I can't say I expected." It's better than he deserves, and he wouldn't be surprised if she thinks similarly. He's human, after all, and one who has just laughed at her a few minutes ago.

"Meanwhile, Detlef's gained some friends. Who will no doubt drop that friendship when they know who I am, but until then, I've some safety."

TEST DRIVE MEME!

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