allthisshitisweird | Test Drive Meme!

You'll Never Leave the Hinterlands Alive*

Welcome to Fade Rift's very first Test Drive Meme! Use one of the prompts below or make up your own, and tag around! Have fun, try out the setting, generate samples for your app, coerce your friends into joining you.

Maybe the Inquisition sent you, maybe you came seeking the Inquisition. Maybe you fell out of a rift into this world last week and are still just trying to find your feet. However it happened, early fall finds you in the Hinterlands. Tucked between Ferelden's massive Lake Calenhad and the icy Frostback Mountains, the Hinterlands are a hilly region covered in patchy forests and small farms trying to eke out a living between the boulders. Though somewhat remote, the area is rich with game and minerals and home to Redcliffe, a bustling town on a busy trade route.

Lately the Hinterlands have also been full of mages and templars and rifts, all threatening to turn once-peaceful countryside into a dangerous warzone. The Inquisition has set up several camps and sent personnel to try to restore order to the region, unwilling to let it slip into chaos. There's a lot to be done, some of it straightforward killing bad things, some of it weird and nebulous morale-building.

1. In the Deep Dark Hills of Western Ferelden

You have turned the wrong corner, forded the wrong stream, crested the wrong hill, entered the wrong cave. Maybe you are far from camp. Maybe you are in camp. Whatever has happened, wherever you are: you are being chased by bears. Did you provoke the bears? Are they huge? Babies? Fade-touched? Mage-controlled? What are they chasing you away from? What are they chasing you into? What do you plan to make out of their hide if you kill them? What do you think they'll craft out of your hide if they kill you?

2. There I Read on a Hillside Gravestone

The rebel mages and renegade templars have ravaged the Hinterlands, skirmishes breaking out all over. It looks like you've just missed one-- great spikes of ice melt slowly in the cool autumn sunlight and patches of grass and trees have been scorched away. Three bodies are scattered about, two templars and one mage judging by their clothing. You could bury them. Or search their pockets. Or track their friends. Or all of the above, if you're feeling industrious.

3. Won't You Walk With Me Out the Mouth of this Holler

Whatever task you were actually sent out here to do, you are going to be late. One-Eyed Jimmy asked so nicely for your help finding his prize ram, Lord Woolsley. It's been in the family for years, so smart for a ram, it's a good luck charm, their business has boomed with it around, and it's lived for so long, he just can't abide thinking of it getting eaten by some mangy apostate. And then he went and offered you money, too. How could you say no? Maybe you're still wandering, asking everyone you pass if they've seen a ram that looks like it's wearing an orangey-red sweater. Maybe you've found it and are chasing it around a lake or trying to lead it back to the village for your reward. Maybe you've gotten fed up and gotten out your sword to bring Jimmy a new sweater instead and discovered that lucky Lord Woolsley is a demon in sheep's clothing. Surprise!

4. Fill Your Cup With Whatever Bitter Brew You're Drinking

Just because the region's had a rough time lately doesn't mean the tavern at Redcliffe is any less crowded than usual. Bella behind the bar dishes out tankards to refugees and soldiers, scared villagers and angry farmers, merchants traveling through from Orzammar and Orlais and families fleeing the rifts in the foothills. It's packed, basically. The Inquisition has only recently extended its influence into the region, and while some have already seen the benefit-- demons killed, fighting broken up-- others are skeptical.

5. Spend Your Life Just Thinkin' of How to Get Away

Choose Your Own Adventure: hunt game, kill demons, gather herbs, track bandits, haggle over the price of armor, fall off a deceptively tall rock, get lost circling the same hill ten times trying to find a way up to the weird glowing skull on a stick you can see is up there, climb trees or abandoned towers, rummage around in empty homes, run from a dragon, cry over how cute that fennec fox you just shot was, set up camp and chat around the fire, knock yourself out (figuratively, or even literally if that's more your speed)-- the Hinterlands are your ~~Frostback Mountain~~ oyster.

*Yeah, I had this stuck in my head. It's a good song!!

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

Or maybe cursed to only curse sticky-fingered Dalish going through their pockets after the fact.

[ Not that he really believes that, but...

Caesar's still reluctant to touch any of the dead, so he won't. Not when Hugo's here to do the dirty work for him. Though the even, matter-of-fact way he says that, he leaves to the elf to guess whether or not he's joking and pushes himself back up to stand, hands immediately finding his coat pockets.

While Hugo searches, he'll keep watch instead. ]

Finding anything?

[Hugo stuck out his tongue at Caesar and moved over to one of the Templars, going through his pockets.]

Nothing interesting. Money, a really nice knife that I'm keeping, and... Oh, here's something.

[he pulled out some parchment and handed to Caesar while he moved to the last body] Looks like a map. Could tell us where they were going.

[the second Templar had parchment on her as well. A quick look showed it was a stack of letters to her father, but it have been code for something]

A map...

[ He'll take it. Maps, now maps he can work with. Caesar studies it for a moment, turns it over to make sure nothing's on the back, and then back over, again, for another look. ]

Likely a templar camp. We'll have to avoid it. [ Report the location, yes. Go to it themselves, nnnno. He folds the map up again and tucks it away into a pocket for safekeeping. That done, he looked around them again, once more checking for any other incoming problems. Still, nothing, so that was good. ] And we may not want to linger here for much longer. Are those letters?

[Getting to his feet, Hugo brushed the dust off his trousers and held out the letters.]

Looks like letters to her father that she never got to send. It could be coded, or it could be exactly what it seems.

[it went without saying he was hoping it was code. Ever since his clan went missing he had been searching for signs of them everywhere, and finding very little. It was exhausting, remaining hopeful, but it was better than the alternative and giving over to despair.]

I'm ready to go if you are.

Hang on a moment.

[ With that many letters in one place, coded seems less likely, but Caesar does open one long enough to give it a quick read through. He shakes his head at the end, though. ]

No, I think they really are just that. Letters. If you're looking for clues to where your clan went, these people won't have them. [ He goes over the letter once more, at the very least picking out a name, before folding it up again and putting it away, along with the map and the other letters. ] I'll see about getting these sent along later...

[ Now they can go. Caesar doesn't say as much, he just picks a direction (seemingly at random, but who knows) and starts off. ]

[Hugo falls into step with Caesar, not questioning the direction. He's learned not fight with Caesar about things that aren't important.]

I feel bad about leaving out like that... [But there wasn't time to deal with that. And they weren't his people, they didn't worship the Evanuris, so it might not be respectful to bury them as such.]

Leaving out like that... what?

[ Apparently they aren't getting far, because Caesar's curious enough to trail to a stop yet again and turn to quirk an eyebrow at Hugo. After that, he looks back towards the bodies. ]

You mean not doing anything with them? [ It isn't the kindest thing to do, but... ] We don't have time for a pyre. We would have to burn them.

[Hugo nods, studiously not looking at the bodies] I know. Come on, Caesar, lets get moving before their friends come looking for us and think we killed them.

[Which was unlikely. Hugo was small for his age, and Caesar... well, Caesar was Caesar.]

What are we scouting for anyways?

[Change the subject, get his mind off the bodies. Nature will take its course.]

[ It wouldn't matter. The mages and the templars both didn't seem to care who they killed, no matter how harmless they seemed. That in mind, Caesar at least picked up his pace a little. ]

Everything? Anything? I'm only along to fill out the map. The rest of these scouts, they can't even figure out that much. We, on the other hand, have a better chance of picking spots for base camp that isn't in the middle of a nest of bears.

[Hugo nods along.]

I doubt the others are that dumb.

[Caesar is probably the best of the scouts, aside from being useless in combat, so it evens out.]

The bears have been more active than usual lately.

Why do you think they've been that way?

[ Caesar has nothing but scorn for the increase of bear activity. ]

Because people keep crashing through their territories. I imagine they think they can handle a bear or two, but then it turns into five. I can't believe that Ferelden has survived such an infestation...

[He gives Caesar an irritated look]

It could be something else. The Evanuris-

[He stops himself. Caesar won't want to listen to his opinions on the matter]

Could be migratory thing. It happens. Recent events could have rendered their old territory uninhabitable, thus the move.

You keep saying that word.

[ He doesn't know what that means, Hugo! He's human! Use human words! ]

And if they are fleeing the rifts, migratory is not the correct way to describe it. Migratory means it is something they do on a regular basis, because of the seasons, not because of demons.

[ Of course, he just has to be pedantic about it. ]

The Creators, our gods. They might have a hand in it.

[He sighs at Caesar, not everyone goes to elite schools and learns fancy words, Silverberg.]

Then what word would you describe it?

[Might as well learn a thing or two. Caesar's good for that]

Then say Creators. Creators I understand.

[ At least to an academic extent. Beyond that, well... ]

And you could use exodus, if you want to be dramatic about it, but flight works just as well. They're fleeing, like I said.

[He rolls his eyes] Their proper name is the Evanuris, and I shall call them that. You know what it means now.

[Well, that's why Hugo's around, isn't it?]

Exodus. [He nods] I think that suits it better than flight.

Whatever.

[ The chances of ever catching Caesar using the right name are so incredibly low, it's actually hilarious. Anyway, by now, they've cleared the battlefield, leaving the three bodies well behind them. He's leading them back up into the woods, it would seem, pushing branches out of his way as he goes. ]

Exodus seems a little much to use for bears, but if that's your preference, very well.

Test Drive Meme!

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