allthisshitisweird | Test Drive Meme!

You'll Never Leave the Hinterlands Alive*

Welcome to Fade Rift's very first Test Drive Meme! Use one of the prompts below or make up your own, and tag around! Have fun, try out the setting, generate samples for your app, coerce your friends into joining you.

Maybe the Inquisition sent you, maybe you came seeking the Inquisition. Maybe you fell out of a rift into this world last week and are still just trying to find your feet. However it happened, early fall finds you in the Hinterlands. Tucked between Ferelden's massive Lake Calenhad and the icy Frostback Mountains, the Hinterlands are a hilly region covered in patchy forests and small farms trying to eke out a living between the boulders. Though somewhat remote, the area is rich with game and minerals and home to Redcliffe, a bustling town on a busy trade route.

Lately the Hinterlands have also been full of mages and templars and rifts, all threatening to turn once-peaceful countryside into a dangerous warzone. The Inquisition has set up several camps and sent personnel to try to restore order to the region, unwilling to let it slip into chaos. There's a lot to be done, some of it straightforward killing bad things, some of it weird and nebulous morale-building.

1. In the Deep Dark Hills of Western Ferelden

You have turned the wrong corner, forded the wrong stream, crested the wrong hill, entered the wrong cave. Maybe you are far from camp. Maybe you are in camp. Whatever has happened, wherever you are: you are being chased by bears. Did you provoke the bears? Are they huge? Babies? Fade-touched? Mage-controlled? What are they chasing you away from? What are they chasing you into? What do you plan to make out of their hide if you kill them? What do you think they'll craft out of your hide if they kill you?

2. There I Read on a Hillside Gravestone

The rebel mages and renegade templars have ravaged the Hinterlands, skirmishes breaking out all over. It looks like you've just missed one-- great spikes of ice melt slowly in the cool autumn sunlight and patches of grass and trees have been scorched away. Three bodies are scattered about, two templars and one mage judging by their clothing. You could bury them. Or search their pockets. Or track their friends. Or all of the above, if you're feeling industrious.

3. Won't You Walk With Me Out the Mouth of this Holler

Whatever task you were actually sent out here to do, you are going to be late. One-Eyed Jimmy asked so nicely for your help finding his prize ram, Lord Woolsley. It's been in the family for years, so smart for a ram, it's a good luck charm, their business has boomed with it around, and it's lived for so long, he just can't abide thinking of it getting eaten by some mangy apostate. And then he went and offered you money, too. How could you say no? Maybe you're still wandering, asking everyone you pass if they've seen a ram that looks like it's wearing an orangey-red sweater. Maybe you've found it and are chasing it around a lake or trying to lead it back to the village for your reward. Maybe you've gotten fed up and gotten out your sword to bring Jimmy a new sweater instead and discovered that lucky Lord Woolsley is a demon in sheep's clothing. Surprise!

4. Fill Your Cup With Whatever Bitter Brew You're Drinking

Just because the region's had a rough time lately doesn't mean the tavern at Redcliffe is any less crowded than usual. Bella behind the bar dishes out tankards to refugees and soldiers, scared villagers and angry farmers, merchants traveling through from Orzammar and Orlais and families fleeing the rifts in the foothills. It's packed, basically. The Inquisition has only recently extended its influence into the region, and while some have already seen the benefit-- demons killed, fighting broken up-- others are skeptical.

5. Spend Your Life Just Thinkin' of How to Get Away

Choose Your Own Adventure: hunt game, kill demons, gather herbs, track bandits, haggle over the price of armor, fall off a deceptively tall rock, get lost circling the same hill ten times trying to find a way up to the weird glowing skull on a stick you can see is up there, climb trees or abandoned towers, rummage around in empty homes, run from a dragon, cry over how cute that fennec fox you just shot was, set up camp and chat around the fire, knock yourself out (figuratively, or even literally if that's more your speed)-- the Hinterlands are your ~~Frostback Mountain~~ oyster.

*Yeah, I had this stuck in my head. It's a good song!!

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

[A faint smile touches the youth's lips as he approaches the hunter in a confident stride.]

May I suggest that you put the beast down for the sake of mercy if nothing else?

[The bear in question had become a withering mass of sickness thanks to the arcanist's spellcasting. However, this ailment won't last for long.]

You're much more proficient in your tasks as a hunter than I am.

If you are certain this 'bio' will not harm me as well. Most gaseous spells I know of care little for friend or foe, mealy the area in which it was cast.

[ Thank you Morrigan for that wonderful lesson. ]

I have been at it for a great deal longer, I would assume.

Fair enough. Be sure to finish the bear once the spell fades.

[Alphinaud instructs plainly before turning to watch the bear's actions. That fiendishly green smog lingers for a few seconds longer sapping the bear's strength further.

By now the creature is quite gaunt looking. That 'Bio' spell does a number on foes despite not being able to kill them outright. It's a good thing that the hunter hasn't neared it.]

Ah, there!

[The smog finally fades at last.]

[ The smog clears and the bear- looks terrible. More so than he'd expect from a mere miasma spell. Curious. As soon as he's given leave he darts in, cutting the bear's throat as he had for the others. Not the quickest death, nor the cleanest- but he does not let it weigh upon him. It is what it is. ]

I would recommend not sharing that spell were I you. There are a great many that would use it against the undeserving.

[The warning wins a somewhat alarmed glance from Alphinaud. As someone ignorant to the ways of this realm, the young prodigy knows to take that warning to heart.]

I'll be...more cautious. [He replies as he dares to come near the hunter.

The man looks almost Elezen despite his meager height. They're almost the same size by a few inches or so. Alphinaud had long noticed that the elfin folk of this land to be quite peculiar in both appearance and culture, but some things remain universal.]

You seem quite well traversed and if so, I'm in need of a guide.

In times such as these? It is the best option.

[ Leaving the cursed bear in a heap of blood and fur, Zevran turns his blades and his attention to the others, working the pelt away from the meat little by little. They came at a fair price- as did bear meat. The wolves would handle the rest. ]

I am indeed quite well traveled, though I am not certain you could afford my services.

[Alphinaud most likely lacks the gold necessary to hire this seasoned hunter but the boy hatches a plan as he watches the elf peel away at the bear's pelt. Yes, he may lack the gold but he can still hire this man.]

Name your price and tell me how many bears I would need to slay to buy your services.

[He's quite serious,]

...

[ He actually pauses mid slice to turn and stare at the boy- for it was but a boy he had saved and through the kindness of his heart (and need for pelts) that he had done so and not charged him a single copper. ]

You want to buy my services with bears. That I can kill quite well on my own.

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