TEST DRIVE MEME!

[faderifting]

WHAT A GLOOORIOUS FEELING

WE'RE STILL IN THE HINTERLANDS

How’s the weather, Inquisition? Terrible. Heavy rainfall pelts the plains and the mountains, four straight days of it! Dark clouds block out the sun. It may begin to feel like there’s no end to the storms in sight. When darkness falls, cold evening temperatures turn that rain frigid. Your boots, your socks, they’re soaked through. Everyone smells like wet wool.

And as if all that weren’t enough: the increased rainfall loosens patches of mud and shale, causing mudslides.

---

1. We’re not in Orzammar anymore…

A recent group of dwarven traders bearing fine crafts and goods were inbound for Skyhold, ready to flood the markets with their wares. Instead, they got flooded out.

Yes, word has reached the Inquisition that the traders have been unfortunately detained by the weather and they are now in need of a rescue. Dare you venture out into the lashing rain and sliding mud to rescue the traders?

If you do so dare, you’ll find some of the traders to be exceedingly grateful for your efforts, ready to bestow handsome rewards on you, O Brave Soul -- just as soon as you’ve escorted them safely back to Skyhold. Or you might find a cluster of more disagreeable traders, grumpy at the water in their boots and the loss of their goods. Some of those goods might still be rescuable, if you want to wade out into a mud field to retrieve a fallen chest, or tug an errant terrified donkey back onto what’s passing for dry road these days.

As you carry these treasures back to their masters, or back to Skyhold, you might consider helping yourself to a sampling of the wares on your way back. After all, your reward might not be adequate, and you are risking your life for these ungrateful sons of mothers. Just don’t get caught. These traders don’t look kindly on thieves, and frayed tempers snap easily.

Feel free to get stuck on your way to the rescue, too. Weather out the storm with a fellow do-gooder. These days, the rescuers might need rescuing just as much.

2. Are you mad? That’s twelve year old scotch!

In Skyhold and the surrounding tent towns, what with the confusion and the panic and the scramble for high ground, market stalls are left unattended and wares are ripe for the taking. For some, temptation proves to be too much. Where there’s disaster, there’s often looting! A few vendors defend their own wares, and those that can’t make desperate entreaties for assistance. Bandits! Thieves!

Are you a brave and hale friend to the Inquisition and to good honest trade, ready to defend the wares of the waterlogged merchants? Or maybe your sticky fingers spot a tempting treasure too great to ignore. If they didn’t want it stolen, they should have taken it with them! Watch out for that Qunari metalsmith with the mean right hook. He’s not to be trifled with, and his blow will leave you toothless in the mud.

3. I gotta go, Julia, we got bears.

The rainfall has disturbed more than the mud. Bears, resting in their caves, have found their caves to be too damp for their liking, and they’ve taken to the open air to vent their spleens. Some people say that the bears are as frightened as you are, but when you’re faced with a six hundred pound beast with huge pointy teeth, their innocence is a little harder to keep in perspective.

The tents surrounding greater Skyhold are especially worried by rogue bears. Make a stand against them, or else help evacuate a threatened campsite. Mudwrestling a bear is a great way to impress the ladies, or the gentlemen… but no one will blame you for beating a hasty retreat.

4. We got 12 skins of water, 56 ales, two vodkas, four whiskeys, six bottles of wine, tequila, hazelnut paste, cheese, bread, eggs, bananas, apples, bacon, steaks, pancakes, dry grain, milk, sweet tomato sauce, half a pudding, half-ounce Sour Wine, 3 1/2 grams Grand Inquisitor Kush, one ounce of 'shrooms, 15 ecstasy potions, a smutty woodcut, a bat…

TIME TO HUNKER DOWN. In the tavern, the barkeep is handing out free spiced wine to anyone who takes refuge behind her door. The din of conversation and lutesong makes a fine lullabye for the careworn traveler, and you might find yourself inadvertently dropping off to sleep. Or maybe someone’s fallen asleep on you.

Who can blame the slumberers, finally safe and warm and dry? In the tavern, the fires have been built up to ward off the chill and the damp, but relaxation is a little more difficult these days. You really have to elbow your way in there to get close to that warmth. Once you get close enough, you’ll find that the hearths are taken up with dozens and dozens of wet socks and wetter boots, steaming gently as they dry. Be disgusted if you want, or else peel off your own and go barefoot while you wait.

Hey! What’s going on over there? Someone’s taking one of your socks! Stop, thief!

If you can’t make it to the tavern, you might find yourself holed up somewhere a little more unlikely. The limited space within Skyhold means there aren’t a lot of free rooms. That door you shoulder open in desperation might have an owner already. Intrusions aren’t always unwelcome, but beware of what -- or who! -- you might find.

5. Lots of fish… and lots of weather.

WILDCARD. Whatever you do, just remember: there’s a lot of rain, you’re very wet, and if you’re feeling amorous, keep in mind that everyone smells like wet wool. We cannot stress this enough.

Comments

[gatheringstorm]

[Of course she crosses as quickly as possible, managing not to knock anyone else over in the process. Her grin is wide as she takes that recently-vacated seat without hesitation, clasping his hand.]

And here I thought that the spiced wine would be the only highlight of the day! It's good to see you again, Kaaras. I know it probably hasn't been that long, but everything before the Conclave seems like forever ago. How've you been?

[scalethewall]

Experienced Wardens. Right. He hadn't met many other Wardens and wasn't sure what to expect. Still, the opportunity seemed to have been thrown in front of him as if by the Maker himself, fate, a way for Blackwall to help people. It seemed ridiculous to even think about walking away from this though.

"Grey Wardens are heroes. Perhaps there was a reason for what they did. A... Grey Warden reason," He clears his throat and makes the wise decision to stop talking there, raising his drink to his mouth instead. "Like I said, I haven't really been in contact with, well, anyone for the last few months. Years. The only reason I've heard much of anything about Kirkwall was because the fighting between the mages and Templars started displacing villagers close to where I happened to be. I just knew it was a mage."

4

[slightlyoffchilt]

"This must be a fabrication," said one soggy Doctor Frederick Chilton as he sat alone nearer a corner -- only a tankard of some unruly spiced wine to keep him company. He seemed immune to the lutesong wafting in the tavern air, and it was perhaps clear that he was a man out of place as much as he was out of time. There was no rubbing shoulders with the masses in this hearth-warmed, sockless environment. It was hardly a lofty psychiatric office.

"None of this can be -- " That's when he glanced upward and over, his eyes like magnets to Will Graham. " -- Real."

Amazing that Will could be spotted despite all the shuffling and shivering bodies, wasn't it? But then again, Will Graham had always been unique. Chilton jolted, as if electrified by the sight, and his feet began to move before he could even question his reality once more.

"Tell me this cannot be real."

That's the implied question he asked Will, the moment he was in earshot. That one.

[ombranera]

"Add on a bottle of decent wine and you'd practically call me Orlesian." He crackles a low laugh, squinting at a fire pit to the east. It takes a bit of scrambling to get up the hill without slipping back into the mud- but there it is. The first of the crates.

"I have worked in Orlais quite a bit in the past few years. Lovely men, gorgeous women, half decent wine, excellent chocolate- too much butter in everything but the tiny cakes." Which could always use a little more, in Zevran's opinion.

[gatheringstorm]

"I wasn't anywhere near Kirkwall, but I'm a mage; it was going to affect me no matter what. It wasn't as bad as it could have been, thanks to my company, but still. Maybe the Wardens do have a reason, but I don't see harboring a possessed mage ending well for anyone involved. Abominations turn, and they wipe out everything." Korrin shakes her head and frowns, unable to deny that she's among those unhappy with the Wardens for their decision. Still, it's been decided and she's far more invested in fighting Corypheus than she is Grey Wardens.

[lightningcage]

Oh, I wouldn't discount that spiced wine just yet. Warms you right up.

[ he reaches around with the other arm to give her a slight one armed hug. ]

Not too bad, I can't complain too much. Other than the fact that the weather is terrible and I feel like I'll never be completely dry again but other than that... [ Kaaras shrugs ]

So, how has everything been for you since last we spoke? Things with the Inquisition? I've heard some pretty interesting stories about it all.

[gatheringstorm]

It's terrible, isn't it? At least it's not the Fallow Mire, though.

[Hugs, one-armed or otherwise, are always welcome and she chuckles.]

Tell me which stories you've heard and I'll be able to help you sift the truth from all the embellishments. Though I should warn you, enough crazy shit has happened that there might be less of a gap than you'd think.

I'm alright, but I'd be lying if I said all's well. There's a lot of tension within the Inquisition, over various things, and all those fractures have the potential to be disastrous. I hate to say it, but that darkspawn magister asshole better show up, so we can be reminded of why we're all here in the first place.

[serannas]

"For me, I knew that people like this had to exist out there. It was just a matter of finding them. I wouldn't trade the experiences I've had here for anything." Especially not now that her heart flutters for a certain human.

"I came to experience life outside the clan and to help end this war, but I've gained so much more than I ever imagined." And since she doesn't want to just gush about herself, she asks, "What about you, lethallan?"

[dragoon_pride]

It’s certainly… something, but Kain is used to it by now. He still tries to avoid walking near the chapel or other places where a screaming bird will piss people off too much, though.

“It’s good to meet you… and I suppose that would explain why I haven’t seen you yet. I’ve been here several months now, which seems long and short all at once.”

[dragoon_pride]

Kain follows her gaze around the room. It’s pretty crowded in there, so there’s not anything else to be found. He almost gets up himself to give her the seat but then she’s already settling down, in typical Rydia manner. She’s always done things in her own way, habits from all of that time in the Feymarch.

“It is a lot to deal with… and I’m not sure where to even begin to talk about the Gods’ War. We all came from many different worlds… somewhat like the situation for some of us here.” But he’ll have to tell her the whole story, or most of it. Eventually. He’s sure she’ll be interested to hear about it, after all.

There’s one thing at least that he’s sure he can say and do for now. They’d traveled together and they shared a world in common. He would trust her more than a lot of people. “I’d like the same… I’ll always count you as my comrade… as long as it remains fine with you, of course…” Kain knows he’s betrayed them all a lot. They have every right not to forgive him. He’s already sure that things would still be especially difficult with Edge, for instance. So Rydia would have every right not to trust him or want him around. It’s not as if they’ve ever even talked about the more distant past, what had happened at Mist. She has every right to dislike him. Yet she’s already interested in remaining allies.

“There are a lot of people to protect and horrible things to be fought here in this world. I’ll be glad to have you on my side once more.”

[enasalin]

Settling back onto a stool, Danae locks her legs around it. "I know what you mean. It hasn't been all that long since I joined the Inquisition, but it doesn't seem that way sometimes. So you're what they call a 'rifter', then? One of the people from beyond?"

That certainly gets her interest, and she glances over to his hand, where that familiar glow must be.

[enasalin]

Danae can't help but grin at Ellana's enthusiasm, certain it would be contagious even if she wasn't of the same mindset. "I came for much the same reason, though I plan to go back at some point. Clan Ghilain's cause is mine, and I want to help them prove that Inquisitor Ameridan was one of us. But while I'm here, it's been an eye-opening experience. I love learning about all these different ways of life, different kinds of magic and so on. Maybe I can take back what's best about it all and use it to help the clan. I'm just a Second, but I can try, right?"

[serannas]

"I think it's a wonderful idea to bring back some of what you've learned here, and I do hope your clan takes to it, and it helps them." The clans are all different from each other, and Ellana can only hope Clan Ghilain is open to all the possibilities of the world.

[scalethewall]

"Find something?" Blackwall kept his distance in spite of his curiosity. The assassin really only had his word and the armor he wore that said he was truly a Grey Warden and nod a bandit. Likewise, Blackwall was in a similar position. Their loose alliance was just that. Years of being on the road had made the Warden overly cautious and suspicious.

He watched him pick up the crate, focus moving back to the conversation. "Lovely men and gorgeous women? How can you tell under those masks and all that frilly fabric?" He joked, though the easy answer there was 'take it off'.

[hlif]

Lena he went home to see the family (meaning: he saw his mother) and then the hold (meaning he did a lot of climbing and hunting and wrestling) and then took an abomination to the chest on what should have been a really simple job to clear out a group of petty smugglers that by no accounts should have had a smuggler. There's every chance he punctured a lung. Or that Amalia did something healing him because Amalia isn't gentle with her healing spells at all. "I've told you before that your horns don't get added to your height so you don't actually get to count that in any sort of official measurements for anything."

He does snort though at the idea of her in little Orlesian shoes, even putting on the accent. "But Madame, these are the latest fashion, these little jade slippers encrusted with emeralds, they are sure to make you turn every head at the ball!" Okay his accents are terrible he gave up at fashion, whatever.

"Pretty girl, but c'mon, live a little, I'd let one of them put their Fade-hand on my cock. Mal's got a fancy Fade-hand, I'm going to see if I can get him drunk enough again to try it out on me. Just for nostalgia, or something like that. Or," and he's leaning in, with that Asher Is Going To Get Weird Grin on his face, "can you imagine if I had a Fade-dick! The possibilities Lena!"

[fightingdirty]

Her response to that is to roll her eyes and take a drink. That drink barely stays in her mouth, however, when he puts on that accent. Her eyes widen and she snorts once she's safely swallowed. Asher has always been good at getting a laugh out of her, the little shit.

"Oo la la!" she returns, pitching her voice higher and also going for the terrible accent. "I will take seven pair! One for every day of the week!" Yeah, she kind of wants to vomit just from pretending to be Orlesian.

"I need to spy that encounter," she says, because she has no shame and Mal getting huffy is funny as fuck. "If anyone could get him to do it, it's you." But then she's leaning in too in order to hear this amazing idea of his and it leaves her leaning back and giving him a playful shove.

"Come off it! You want a green, glowy piece of the Fade embedded in your dick? You're crazy!"

[dragoon_pride]

Kain immediately looks toward the palm of his left hand, glaring at it openly before he shows it off to Danae. It's clear he doesn't like its presence, though he doesn't blame her her curiosity. So he'll let her see it, despite how he feels toward the thing.

"Yes. I am. I'm from a kingdom called Baron in a far-distant world. I'm completely human, too... thus far, I don't think any of us have been demons." He doesn't know her stance on the rifters, but she'd seemed more curious than anything, so he has a feeling she won't make such an accusation.

[arsebiscuit]

"Don't got much else to offer. Even my underthings are soaked through."

She sits next to the not-fire, trying to pretend it was offering some nice warmth.

Nope. Not working.

"Think mushrooms burn?"

[enasalin]

Ignoring the glare at his hand, Danae takes hold of his palm to inspect it more closely. She tilts her head, thoughtful. "I didn't think you were, honestly. I've met demons and most are either not long on patience or subtlety. If you were one, you'd be trying to tempt me with something by now, not knocking me over and having your parrot swear at me." She flashes a quick smile to show that she holds no resentment over that fact.

[scalethewall]

Blackwall doesn't have an answer for her, all he can do is frown into what's left of his ale before finishing it.

"I..." He shrugs, brow furrowing, "I can't say what they were thinking. At least if he turns, they'll be there to put him down. Hopefully that will be enough to keep anyone from being hurt."

He was all for second chances, but an abomination was an abomination. There was no changing if the man was possessed.

[gatheringstorm]

"I sincerely hope so; it's not something I'd ever want to be wrong about, believe me." Having seen what abominations can do...no, not dwelling on that now. She smiles a little apologetically after a moment, though. "I know that's a lot to throw at you, though at least now you know what you'll be walking into when you get there."

[hlif]

Lady bro don't get spit on him there are only a few times he's down with that and spraying drink everywhere is kind of his domain, don't encroach on his turf on his literal turf. It feels good to be able to laugh properly after the shitshow life turned into at Skyhold right before he decided to leave before he did something that got him kicked out. This is for the future, he's not letting a bunch of Wardens and their idiotic decisions cock it up for him.

"Warn a man, for fuck's sake Lena," he snorts, leaning over to give her a shove. "I want you to order some, just for the look of horror at having to try to to measure your feet, can you imagine the fussing? They'd think they'd be infectious or something." Asher got measured a few times because he had no choice, something about having to dress fancy to go to parties and then Liadan just got his measurements because it wasn't worth trying to fight a greased nuggalope.

Something like that.

"I'm holding you to that, this whole tavern is my witness!" That'd be more convincing if the tavern gave a shit but she can back him up. As it stands, they're talking about his dick and that's way more interesting anyway. "But I could save the world. With my dick. And that would be recorded until the end of time."

[fightingdirty]

"They'd probably be surprised I don't have hooves," she states dryly. In her experience, get too many humans together who love the sound of their own voices, and suddenly her race are a bunch of mooing farm animals.

"Okay, fair, but don't these shard things fuck with people's hands? Like I can't imagine the fucking things aren't going to rot off. I'll kill you if you tell Korrin I said that; she's smitten with her girl, but I don't think green Fade shit is going to play nice trapped under the skin." Hey, Araceli sounds nice, and she sure as the Void doesn't wish this upon her, but it seems bound to happen, doesn't it?

[dragoon_pride]

"Nughumping son of a bitch!" The bird declares cheerfully, flapping his wings.

Kain rolls his eyes, but the parrot gets a pat on the head from him in turn. Giving him plenty of food and attention at least keeps him from misbehaving too badly. "Right... This would be a truly pathetic evil plan, if it were one." He shakes his head. "Who knows why we're here? But we are here now, which means this world's fight is ours as well." It's not the path to redemption he'd planned on, but it is a path, possibly.

Dar Prethan | DA OC city elf, shapeshifter, Mage's Collective, quiet watcher type

[shiftlinggirl]

3. Dar is not a fighter, and when a huge bear attacks all her instincts scream for her to run. It would be so easy, so quick, to take to the skies and be out of reach in a flash, leaving the bear and the ground and all this mess far behind...

But not everyone has that option. And if Dar's not a fighter, neither is she the sort to ignore people in trouble if there's something she can do to help. She can't do much. But when tents full of evacuees are screaming, and a lone mother with too many children tries to gather them all up and flee, Dar sees something she can do. She takes the smallest baby (it has to be the smallest, she's small herself) and runs, leaving the mother free to pick up the toddler and take her oldest daughter by the hand and run herself. Maybe in other circumstances the woman would object to seeing an elf (and a less than clean one, as well) holding her baby, but she doesn't have a chance to complain now.

It may not be enough; the bear will need to decide they aren't worth chasing, or get distracted by something else. And there are too many other refugees who need similar help. Dar curses herself under her breath, swearing that when she's away from this she'll practice the spells she used to know, the ones for freezing creatures or putting them to sleep, she really will, but right now there's no time and she runs as fast as she can with the precious burden in her arms. If nothing else, she'll save this little one, whatever it takes.


4. Taverns aren't Dar's favorite place to be, but they are useful. In her mabari form she can wander where she wills and be welcome; Fereldens love their dogs, and mabaris are treated with respect. She can't usually get into the kitchen, but who needs to when half-drunk patrons are always happy to leave a bit of jerky or the remains of a bowl of stew out for her to eat? Who needs to sit on a bench attracting unwelcome glowers from shemlen when you can lie under the bench or in the corner and be sure of staying unmolested?

She doesn't like the smell of stale alcohol (worse to a dog's nose than to her own), and it's a little tiring to hear "Andraste's Mabari" played so often, but the advantages are still worth it. She's warm and dry and safe, and it's amazing what useful tidbits you can overhear in a tavern sometimes. The Mage's Collective is quietly supportive of the Inquisition, but when a group is allied with both mages and Templars...well, it's a good idea to keep a close eye on them. Dar rests near one of the table, the very image of a dog having a bit of a snooze, but quietly listens to as much as she can. So far it's mostly complaints about the weather, but you never know...

It looks like the rumors about the Inquisition are true so far, though. She can see all every race in here, and mages as well as Templars. If people are in their own little groups, and if people aren't exactly friendly towards everyone...well, people are people. The point is that no one's killing each other. Maybe she could be sitting here as herself and be all right after all...


5. Wildcard me.