Darkest Timeline AU Flashback Meme

[faderifting]

DARKEST TIMELINE AU FLASHBACK MEME
Did you work out something for your character's darkest timeline AU that you love so much it would be an absolute crime not to be able to write it out for real? WHAT LUCK! This meme is here for all your flashback-from-the-future needs. It's also the place to display sad single-character vignettes, letters that were never sent to dead friends, and anything else your dastardly little heart desires. Go forth and suffer.

The contents of this meme do not count for AC. For AC, you must participate in the real logs for the event, which will take place in Cloudreach 9:48, or else continue your normal non-event RP in the present (Guardian 9:43). However, you can count log threads in this meme toward your rewards points for the month.

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[samahl]

He accepts that, but there are still few who handle spirit healing as well as him. Briefly, Cyril wonders if Sam would have been as impressive by now, but that just adds to the ache in his chest.

"I'd really like that," he said instead, accepting the change in subject easily. "I'm sure Sina would too. There's only so much she can do with the resources she has now."

[samahl]

Cyril is quiet for a moment, as he considers Anders. His expression isn't unkind, it's just mostly unreadable, almost bland.

"You do," he admitted after a moment. "You help. Your company helps." Even if he feels depression and grief weighing down on him he can't help but admit that. Anders has always been someone that Cyril enjoyed being around. "It helps to know that someone understands too."

[samahl]

"Yes," Cyril said. Another thing he tended to avoid doing was drink heavily in front of others, but right now he wanted to dull the pain in his face and the frustration in his chest. "Yes. Let's have several, in fact."

[samahl]

Cyril does lean into him and also sets about starting to eat. He mostly does so through the side of his mouth without the wound though, which looks a little awkward but at least he manages.

He does raise his brow with interest at the mention of flexing.

Now I'm going to be stuck with the mental image of your flexing for the rest of the day. I'm not sure if I should thank you or be annoyed.

[in_death_sacrifice]

"If it were anything else, I wouldn't have! I didn't want to tell you, I'd hoped to leave before..." He can't even finish the sentence, can't even think it. Not around her, anyway. It's all the worse admitting it around her, that he's dying and can't do anything about it. He has no chance now. He... has no hope left. Nothing. He thinks about all those letters he's been writing in vein. He should have shown her them earlier, but it's too late. He can't show her his feelings only to die on her soon after.

"Maybe heading to the Deep Roads still isn't such a bad plan, when... the time comes, I..." He can't say anything more. he just wraps his arms around her, hearing that uncharacteristic sound hurts more than he can say. "I'm sorry, I'm sorry... I'm so sorry..."

[circleprodigy]

The rising anger drains from her abruptly, leaving only a cold pit in her stomach. When Kain holds her, she sags and sobs against him, decidedly unstoic about this revelation. Even Garahel, still on edge after sensing Kain's taint, whines softly but gets no reassuring reply from his mistress.

[quietblade]

"Enjoy that thought," Taas says softly, smiling as he takes another bite of the food. "...when you've healed up more and feel up to it, I'll take care of you." There's a small pause, and a brief ache rakes at his heart. "Zevran... he taught me some nice things. Maybe it can help."

It's not certain if he means massages or sex... or both.

"Is everyone else alright in your group?"

[onlyhymns]

The answer gives Cade pause, and he holds his tongue for several moments while Alistair gets the snarky answer out of his system. It hurts to hear, but isn't unwarranted. Even in this awful, resentful way, he's missed talking to his friend, and will take what he can get.

"You won't be mindless," he says, his voice low and dismal, "...though... that could be nice." Like Tranquility. Most people wouldn't want it, but he isn't most people. "If..."
He trails off, realizing there's no universe in which Alistair would want to hear this, but proceeds anyway, "...if you're forced, don't... don't fight it. It'll be easier." His shoulders hunch. "Maybe they won't force you. You're not a Templar."

[byblow]

Eyes shut, Alistair half-considers, with the part of his brain that isn't busy with regrets, a few different answers. He could pull his first ever do you know who I am?—do you really think they're going to waste me on just another half-mad lyrium monster. That might be fun. He's nearly surly enough.

But not quite.

"I'm not interested in easy, Cade," he says, and grins with too many teeth. Kind of. Grin is generous. "If they try it, maybe you can come hold me down for them."

[alankazam]

"Cade used to hate you." Don't mind him if he sounds a little more intent than usual, almost a little desperate. "Forget forgiveness, then. It doesn't matter."

Let it be between her and the Maker, or her strange, intercessory gods.

"Anger isn't the end of things. This isn't the end of things, doesn't have to be your damn pyre." Alan doesn't swear, never really has. His eyes are wide, expression slipping into unguarded distress. "You don't get to just decide that it's over. You don't get to be the one who decides you're alone."

He should know.

[arlathvhen]

"I--I don't want to be alone." And her voice cracks, because there's a limit of things she can take, and implying that she wants this isolation, this push from everyone she knows, is the final straw. It's not her fault that they made her choose between her life and them. It's not her fault that they expect her to gracefully accept torture and death and misery.

And he's so intent, and it's unnerving, and he's distressed, and that's unnerving too. It's overwhelming, she's overwhelmed with emotions and thoughts that she hasn't had challenged in years, and she was so sure of herself, and Alan--fucking Alan--

She moves before she really realizes she's doing it, arms around him (but careful of the bandages), pulling him into a tight hug, face pressed into his neck. Is it for her comfort, or his? Who knows. Who knows if it even is comforting. "I don't want everyone to hate me." She whispers, pulling her face just far enough back to speak. "I just don't blame them."

[onlyhymns]

If Cade were quicker on his feet, perhaps he'd have some kind of snappy comeback for this, a way to counteract the barbs shooting from Alistair with every sentence. But he isn't, and he doesn't, so he just stands there quietly, watching him.
"I'd rather be dead," he murmurs after a moment, so low that perhaps it wasn't even meant for Alistair to hear. His gaze is distant and desolate, his posture defeated.
Several seconds pass, and Cade realizes he's being weird, so he focuses on Alistair again. "She is in trouble," he says quietly, "...when you get out of here, take her with you." He turns to go toward the door, head down, not waiting for a response.

[byblow]

That would have been a nice conclusion for Cade to come to sometime before Alistair was in a cell, Alistair does not say, but he does give Cade a contemptuous silent look-over that makes it fairly clear he would rather Cade die, too. And not just to avoid further assisting in Alistair's demise. In general.

He's tired, and he can't let any panic or despair show until everyone leaves him alone, so he doesn't say it. And he doesn't say that he won't be getting out and certainly wouldn't be taking Beleth with him if he did, after what happened when the Dalish tried. And he doesn't ask any favors. He wants to, desperately, because he didn't explain before he left, he knew it was stupid and he knew she would tell him so, and he didn't say goodbye the way he should have if he wasn't coming back—

But he wants even more desperately to not owe Cade a damn thing, so he says, "Sure," tone somewhere vague between flippant agreement and sneering sarcasm, and lets him leave.

[alankazam]

"I can't hate you."

It'd be easier if he could. If he could be any one thing, in any moment, and not this muddled mess. She's here and she's close and it'd be a lie to say he'd never thought of it, arms wrapping about her in turn. He presses his lips to her forehead, gentle, solemn.

You have chosen, and spilled the blood of innocence for power.

But not here and not now. In this moment, neither of them has to let go. For a little while, there's still a point that meets in the middle.

For a little while they can pretend.

[pinprick]

"I'd no senses." A half-chuckle, half-cough, a scoff of disgust at himself. How much earlier he could have started this happiness, and how much longer he could have been with Anders. "You were the most handsome man in Amaranthine. I'd just sworn off love thinking it was all like my parents'."

[justice_is_blond]

He presses his face to the side of Nate's neck, inhaling and getting comfortable. Or as comfortable as he could get with this looming over them.

"You've always had so much sense. But feelings and baggage, they're real and they weigh people down." He should know. He's spent so much time being tied to the past and blaming others for what happened then that he's missed out on some of what life could have offered. "You're the practical one, between us. The, the anchor."

His voice breaks and he swallows, trying to keep from getting too worked up. "Let's, I don't, I want to talk about the happy things. We've had them. And I need them, right now."

[pinprick]

Nathaniel breathes, and breathes, and at last finds his center. Happy things. Drowns out the song in his head.

"The day you married me. Remember Kaisa's speech?"

[in_death_sacrifice]

Kain had prepared for death, he'd already done so long ago, when he was first about to sip that darkspawn blood. After all, not everyone survives the Joining. He may well have been dead back then. Then, just knowing it could come anytime, as a Grey Warden, whether through darkspawn or the Calling... he's ready to die. But... not like this, and not so soon. He'd always thought he'd have more time.

He thinks of the letters he's been trying to write, which he's kept hidden for well over a year. Damn it... he'll never... never get a chance to...

"...sorry..." It feels sort of useless though, as he holds her almost protectively.

[justice_is_blond]

"I do." She'd talked about how they deserved happiness and how she hoped every day was more happy. They've had happiness, more than Anders ever expected to have. He just selfishly wishes they had more.

"Something about you deserving me." A part of him wants to joke about her being wrong, say that Nate deserves better, but he's not sure he can convey that it's meant to be a joke right now. "It was probably the most sappy she's ever been. I almost drowned in the sugariness of it, and I'm a fan of sap, my handsome, brave, strong, sexy Barchen." A beat. "It was... nice. Really nice. All of it was. I got to marry you, and it was celebrated by our friends. I've seen so many impossibilities, but that was the best of them."

[circleprodigy]

It's a while before Inessa's capable of anything other than sobs, and they leave her drained, light-headed. They only trail off when she has no more strength left within herself even for that. Kain is going to lose himself to the red lyrium, a worse fate even than what a Grey Warden should expect. And there's nothing she can do about it, not yet.

"...don't...." Don't die? Don't go? One of those.

[arlathvhen]

A little sob escapes her throat, torn between stark relief and the pain of feeling what she's been forced to sacrifice.

Dalish are communal creatures by nature, they're hardwired to comfort with touch, to be given it in turn. Even with her vallaslin torn from her face, that compulsion, the need for touch, can't be simply erased. Even if it'd be easier. But she wants, Beleth has always wanted, been full of desires that she ignores. There's a reason that it was that demon that was drawn to her in the Fade. And right now, more than anything, she desperately wants that connection to another person. It's been...a long time, since she's even had this much contact with another person.

Cade isn't exactly a hugger these days.

When she draws back against him, she places a gentle kiss on his neck, then his jaw. Then stops, waiting for his response. She doesn't care if it stops there or goes further, as long as he keeps his arms around her.

[alankazam]

then they totally made out

and alan finally touched a boob

[in_death_sacrifice]

"If I could..." It he only could, he would. He'd do anything to stay here, with her. He knows he won't be able to, for much longer, so he'll have to make the most of what little time is left. As it is, he's not going to endanger her for some selfish reason of wanting to be around her longer. He won't be able to trust himself soon enough.

For now, he just keeps his arms around her. He wishes he could say or do something more reassuring, but nothing seems to be coming to mind. Instead, he just repeats the words, needing her to know how much he wants to stay at her and Garahel's side. "If I could."

[rowancrowned]

Yes. And you are the best of women for doing it with so few complaints.

[ softer, now. he does not underestimate her strength. ]

[elegiaque]

I'm not sitting idle. I'm not waiting for anything. Best of women my--

( she bites that off. the answer in its place is not substantially tempered. )

In case you'd failed to notice, some of us are actually still working.