Darkest Timeline AU Flashback Meme

[faderifting]

DARKEST TIMELINE AU FLASHBACK MEME
Did you work out something for your character's darkest timeline AU that you love so much it would be an absolute crime not to be able to write it out for real? WHAT LUCK! This meme is here for all your flashback-from-the-future needs. It's also the place to display sad single-character vignettes, letters that were never sent to dead friends, and anything else your dastardly little heart desires. Go forth and suffer.

The contents of this meme do not count for AC. For AC, you must participate in the real logs for the event, which will take place in Cloudreach 9:48, or else continue your normal non-event RP in the present (Guardian 9:43). However, you can count log threads in this meme toward your rewards points for the month.

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[aceso]

She lets out a weak laugh that lowers her defenses and brings forth a few tears. That's her Church: always making her laugh with his silly attitude. No, they certainly won't be getting hot and heavy anymore, but calling it that is just funny to her.

"Oh, Church. You make it sound like everything is going to be all right." It won't be, but here he is making plans, offering suggestions, and she wants to cave in. A little place separate from everybody else... no. No, she can't. She has to go far, far away. Christine shakes her head.

"What if this corruption is passed through the air? Wearing gloves will not matter then. And--" she hesitates, lowering her head to stare at his chest. "The symptoms I will have are ones I do not want you to witness." The paranoia, possessiveness, anger, and more. He can't see her deteriorate. He should remember her as she was.

[motherfucking_ghost]

"It doesn't pass through the air. You've been handling it, it's gotta be through touch, or maybe it gets into cuts, into the blood." If it was airborne, they'd all be dead. It's just future science. He's gotta believe in logic and science, because if there's any AI he trusts besides technically Tex, it's Delta.

"And maybe I can help you out with the symptoms. I don't care what you look like, okay? I want to be here. For you. You know that. You knew that coming into this conversation."

[aceso]

"I have been handling it with gloves, Church," she says softly. "Thick, leather gloves. But I still became infected." She sighs, feeling her eyes well up with tears. The two of them have never discussed their feelings. They let their actions say it all for them, and right now, he wants to stay by her side. It's too good of him.

"The symptoms are not all physical. They are mental too. This will drive me insane, and that plus becoming stronger means I could hurt you when I am out of my mind."

[motherfucking_ghost]

"Well it's not through the air! And I guess it's not in the blood or, remember that time I got shanked in the shoulder by a templar? Good times. I came outta that okay. So I don't know, but waaaay more people would be coming down with a case of the reds if it was just, y'know, out there in the air."

It doesn't matter how it's transmitted, in the end, because it's not the point. He brings a hand up to her cheek, thumb brushing at her tears. It's an awful look for her, because she's best and brightest when she's smiling, giggling madly, and this is...this is bad. She truly believes this is it. And he can't accept that. This is like goodbye, and he doesn't know why, but he's pretty sure he hates that word.

"Chris, you won't hurt me. I'm a big boy. Ape man take care of self, ook. Save pretty girl. I'm not afraid of you. You can't make me afraid of you. I've seen some pretty scary shit, and no offense, but you're not it."

[aceso]

She leans her cheek into his hand and takes a shaky breath as more tears come. Of all the times for Church to say the right thing, it has to be now?

"Please believe me when I say I have debated this all in my head for many long nights. This is what I must do. I-- I wish I could let you take care of me, but I cannot. I--" She stops herself, knowing that what she's about to say is something she can't take back. Once it's out there, it will always be out there.

"I love you too much to hurt you, or let you see me die."

[motherfucking_ghost]

It's the unspoken truth between them. It was never an easy road for them, and yet at the same time, it seemed so natural to slip into. Their relationship, undefined yet understood. To break that sanctity, even after so long? It takes the breath out of him. She's never been more serious in her life.

What he wants to say is some quip she wouldn't understand about how their lives ended up being part of a drama instead of a wacky romantic comedy.

What he says instead comes after a long several moments of trying to find his voice, scrabbling for words that have disappeared completely on him while he tries, and fails, to keep his face from crumpling into something pathetic and sorrowful. Because she means this. She means she's going to leave, and she means she's going to die, and it's going to suck an assload. His voice is small, cracks on the first letter like a creaky door. "Don't."

Don't do any of those things. Don't leave. Don't suffer. Don't die. And don't say something like that. Don't say it now when it might not ever have a chance to happen again. He's no good with emotions, never has been, and he emphasizes his small yet emphatic point by leaning in to desperately kiss her.

[aceso]

Christine never wants to hurt him, but what she's telling him is doing almost as much damage as the corruption would. His voice and expression are devastating to her, but she could never have slipped away in the middle of the night with only a note left for him to read. She could never run off and abandon him without a word. And so they have to go through this pain together.

At least he knows. She needs him to know how he's changed her life.

The kiss causes her to grab hold of his shirt in her fists, sharp pain flaring in her fingers as she tightens her grip. She makes a soft noise of pain, but kisses him back because there's only so much she can take. There's a limit to her resolve and it's crumbled just enough to allow them this: one last moment to express their feelings through actions, not words.

[motherfucking_ghost]

Even now, he's hurting her. And if she stays, it might continue like this. She might hurt him. He might hurt her. And then she'll linger, and she'll die. She won't just wink out of existence in one fell swoop. There'll be nothing to look for, no part of her to hunt for desperately for one more chance. But this pain, this is the worst kind of pain. It needs to stop happening. They need to stop leaving. They leave and then they die and then he dies, some part of him dies alongside.

"Don't," he repeats when he parts just far enough to get it out, dotting her lips with kiss after kiss. "Don't do it." If he impresses his love onto her enough, maybe it'll sink in. "Don't leave me. Don't leave me, please. I ca--fuck it, Chris, I can't--"

One of the worst things is knowing he'll keep going after she's left. After she dies, even, he'll still keep going. It's really almost not fucking fair.

[aceso]

So this is what a heart feels like when it breaks. Christine never would have thought it was real, this feeling. It was always just an expression before now. Tears fall freely from her eyes, and she takes short ragged breaths before forcing herself to shake her head no. A life with him is what she wants, but something she can't have now.

"I do not want to. Believe me." She stops herself to gasp for breath because the tears won't stop and she can hardly breathe because this hurts so much. "I cannot stay and infect others. W-We can talk through the crystals..." Even she knows what poor consolation that is right now. Taking his face in her hands, Christine looks deeply into his eyes. "I am here. I am. If you promise to remember me as I was, before all this? Then I will always be with you." She presses a hand over his heart. "In here. I know. You do not have to say it. I know you love me too."