TEST DRIVE MEME!

[faderifting]

I ROLL TO SEDUCE THE BEAR

Tucked between the massive Lake Calenhad and the icy Frostback Mountains in Ferelden’s chilly, hilly south, the Hinterlands are a region covered in patchy forests, small farms, and a bustling fishing village called Redcliffe. The region was recently the frontline of a war between mages and Templars, but the Inquisition’s military presence has restored order and is now focused on helping the locals and influx of refugees rebuild their lives. Whether you’re a recent recruit or a hardened veteran, a Fereldan local or someone who recently fell out of a rift from another world, you may be asked to go lend a hand.

I. FLOODS

A burst of unseasonably warm weather (in no way inspired by real life events) is initially greeted with relief, gloves discarded and scarves unwrapped—but followed within the week by severe flooding across the region. Maybe you’re sent out to help debris from a road or collect the bodies of those swept away. Or maybe you’re less lucky and instead there when the waters come, shepherding refugees to higher ground, or caught riding in the flow on a dislodged roof or log. Maybe there’s a bear on the roof with you.

II. TREASURE HUNTS

Given the lack of banks and lockboxes, when the people here have something they value, they often hide it—under the ground, in a tree, behind a waterfall. So here you are, with a sketch of some landmarks found on a body, trying to find… something. If you find it, it might be useful: weapons, runes, a stash of supplies. Or it might be someone’s box of racy letters and a request to deliver them to a now-married woman who will slap you on delivery.

III. BEARS

You have turned the wrong corner, forded the wrong stream, crested the wrong hill, entered the wrong cave. Maybe you are far from camp. Maybe you are in camp. Whatever has happened, wherever you are: you are being chased by bears. Did you provoke the bears? Are they huge? Babies? Fade-touched? Mage-controlled? What are they chasing you away from? What are they chasing you into? What do you plan to make out of their hide if you kill them? What do you think they'll craft out of your hide if they kill you?

IV. CRYSTALS

Members and trusted agents of the Inquisition are given access to one of the Inquisition's stores of ancient, mysterious sending crystals, allowing them to communicate instantaneously by voice. It's magic. And a magical excuse to ask everyone what their favorite constellation is in the middle of the night.

Or to call for help because you've been treed by bears.

Either way.

V. MISCELLANEOUS

Choose your own adventure! Hunt game, kill demons, gather herbs, track bandits, haggle over the price of armor, fall off a deceptively tall rock, get lost circling the same hill ten times trying to find a way up to the weird glowing skull on a stick you can see is up there, climb trees or abandoned towers, rummage around in empty homes, run from a dragon, cry over how cute that fennec fox you just shot was, set up camp and chat around the fire, knock yourself out (figuratively, or even literally if that's more your speed)—the Hinterlands are your Frostback Mountain oyster.

Comments

[mistifying]

Oddities such as this do not exist on Ivalice so I know nothing of your Satan, Church, and Christ.

[It sounds oppressive.]

[firstminister]

[It's only oppressive if you're not the Cardinal.]

You do not know Christ or God? Well. I may be able to assist you in that.

[mistifying]

[She would assume as much.]

Your God and Christ, I fear, would take no heed of me in spite of your assistance. It would not be for lack of trying, my kind are far removed from the religion of Ivalice and the Church of Glabados as well.

[There is that and then there is her fondness for magicks and mystic arts.]

[firstminister]

[A small, understanding smile.]

God cares for all of his creatures. I happen to believe that you are one of his creatures, since he holds dominion over everything.

[mistifying]

Of which god you speak of I suppose it depends. From what I understand the people in this world have many dieties that they give praise to. My people give reverence to the wood and the wood speaks to them as though they were like beloved children.

[firstminister]

[Way to horrify a Cardinal in the Holy Church.]

There is only one true God. All others are falsehoods against him.

[And he is not even going to touch the bit about wood. Might be time to change the subject.]

Perhaps, for now, it would be best if I spoke with someone a little more practices in the ways of theology. Have you any churches here? A Bishop, perhaps.

[Because at this point, they're making the heretic Lutherans look like angels.]

[mistifying]

I am not of this world, I would not know where they keep their houses of worship. Chantry, I've heard the word used. Maker, the one they view as their creator, the humes whisper this word reverant voices.

[firstminister]

No, of course you're not. That would explain why we are talking at cross purposes.

So, do you know someone that would have this information?

[mistifying]

You will find that to be a common barrier for you in this world, I am afraid.

Not personally, but if I were the wagering sort, I might direct my attention to the female humes dressed in the elaborate red and white robes with the remarkable [absurd] headdress

[firstminister]

And would this [Coughs. Woman in a religious leadership role? The horror.] woman have a name?

[mistifying]

They call her Mother Giselle.

[Just wait until he learns about the Divine.]

[firstminister]

And does... Mother Giselle... Have an office or reception room, where I would be the most likely to find her.

[His brain is already broken. No more please.]

[mistifying]

The gardens I should think, in this stone hold it is the most meditative place, even I feel at peace there.

[firstminister]

Then I shall seek her there.

[He pauses.]

You said you are not from this place. What place are you from?

[mistifying]

I am from a world called Ivalice, I was born in the Golmore Jungle and grew up alongside my sisters and the rest of the viera.

[firstminister]

['A world'. The Cardinal still thinks this is some elaborate joke that the king has decided to play on him.]

Oh, I believe I know that world. Only I typically call it South America.

[mistifying]

As a Sky Pirate, many maps I have seen and none of these maps indicate that there is a place called South America.

But I can appreciate games. What of Viera in this South America of yours?

[firstminister]

The jungle, obviously. Though we call it the Amazon. Very exotic. And very little is known of it.

[To be fair, very little is known of the 'new world' in general.]

[mistifying]

[Fran give a soft, indulgent laugh, there is no malice in her.]

Golmore is the name of our jungle, viera is the name of our race, though I suppose the exotic part is fair enough.

[firstminister]

Well each language calls things slightly different names. It's possible we are speaking of the same place.

[He's dreaming. Or maybe hoping. He feels very out of sorts here.]

[mistifying]

Perhaps, or if you saw me then perhaps you might have a change of heart.

[Or a heart attack, one or the other.]

[firstminister]

Maybe I would. Or maybe seeing you would confirm my opinions.

[mistifying]

Then we shall have to see which of the two prevail.

[firstminister]

I guess so...