allthisshitisweird | TEST DRIVE MEME!

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TEST DRIVE MEME!

I ROLL TO SEDUCE THE BEAR

Tucked between the massive Lake Calenhad and the icy Frostback Mountains in Ferelden’s chilly, hilly south, the Hinterlands are a region covered in patchy forests, small farms, and a bustling fishing village called Redcliffe. The region was recently the frontline of a war between mages and Templars, but the Inquisition’s military presence has restored order and is now focused on helping the locals and influx of refugees rebuild their lives. Whether you’re a recent recruit or a hardened veteran, a Fereldan local or someone who recently fell out of a rift from another world, you may be asked to go lend a hand.

I. FLOODS

A burst of unseasonably warm weather (in no way inspired by real life events) is initially greeted with relief, gloves discarded and scarves unwrapped—but followed within the week by severe flooding across the region. Maybe you’re sent out to help debris from a road or collect the bodies of those swept away. Or maybe you’re less lucky and instead there when the waters come, shepherding refugees to higher ground, or caught riding in the flow on a dislodged roof or log. Maybe there’s a bear on the roof with you.

II. TREASURE HUNTS

Given the lack of banks and lockboxes, when the people here have something they value, they often hide it—under the ground, in a tree, behind a waterfall. So here you are, with a sketch of some landmarks found on a body, trying to find… something. If you find it, it might be useful: weapons, runes, a stash of supplies. Or it might be someone’s box of racy letters and a request to deliver them to a now-married woman who will slap you on delivery.

III. BEARS

You have turned the wrong corner, forded the wrong stream, crested the wrong hill, entered the wrong cave. Maybe you are far from camp. Maybe you are in camp. Whatever has happened, wherever you are: you are being chased by bears. Did you provoke the bears? Are they huge? Babies? Fade-touched? Mage-controlled? What are they chasing you away from? What are they chasing you into? What do you plan to make out of their hide if you kill them? What do you think they'll craft out of your hide if they kill you?

IV. CRYSTALS

Members and trusted agents of the Inquisition are given access to one of the Inquisition's stores of ancient, mysterious sending crystals, allowing them to communicate instantaneously by voice. It's magic. And a magical excuse to ask everyone what their favorite constellation is in the middle of the night.

Or to call for help because you've been treed by bears.

Either way.

V. MISCELLANEOUS

Choose your own adventure! Hunt game, kill demons, gather herbs, track bandits, haggle over the price of armor, fall off a deceptively tall rock, get lost circling the same hill ten times trying to find a way up to the weird glowing skull on a stick you can see is up there, climb trees or abandoned towers, rummage around in empty homes, run from a dragon, cry over how cute that fennec fox you just shot was, set up camp and chat around the fire, knock yourself out (figuratively, or even literally if that's more your speed)—the Hinterlands are your Frostback Mountain oyster.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

[ II. Adric's never been much of the treasure-hunting sort, for the most part. Or at least not in the traditional sense. Alzarius hardly had a trove of hidden valuables stashed around the planet. Even if anyone had, they'd hardly carry around a map leading up to it. Valuable items don't hold much importance to him on the grounds of value or use.

What Adric is, however, is extremely curious. A map's turned up: this is a fact not disputable. He may not care about treasure, especially considering the circumstances of even being here, but he can't not want to find out what it is that's been hidden in the first place. Welcome to the treasure-hunting squad. ]

I suppose the first thing to do is match ourselves up with these landmarks. I'd say that shouldn't be particularly challenging, but this ink is a bit faded...

[ Honestly, the lack of quality control. ]

[ iv. crystals

Adric is all about prodding this baby. It belongs to him and it must therefore be messed with. He doesn't make the rules. ]

And communications just go out to every other crystal? That must be terribly inconvenient. No interface, either. What are we supposed to do if we've missed someone's message? How would we even know?

[ Magic crystals made for intuitive use. He would always have failed to figure it out within ten minutes. There was never another way. ]

[Anders peers over the man's shoulder at the map before pointing.]

That bit looks like a nose? Rocks shaped like a nose, maybe? That should stand out, I'd think. I'm not sure what to make of the bit at the bottom, though.

[Or rather he thinks it might be bears, but he doesn't want it to be bears because one, what sort of an idiot buries their treasure near bears, two, what sort of an idiot takes the time to draw the bears, and three, why is it always bears? Maybe Adric can see something Anders can't.]

Maybe an animal of some kind? Wouldn't be very useful if this map is especially old.

[ Give it time and Adric, too, will be in a state of wondering why things always have to be so bear-related. For the time being, he's just glad that he isn't the only person attempting to sort out this map.

Surely maps were meant to be made easy to decipher. Otherwise, there'd hardly be a point in having them. ]

Does this planet really have rock formations that could look like a nose?

[ priorities: in order. ]

Perhaps it's a statue of an animal, and a rock formation carved to look like a nose? Or it could be naturally occurring things that just remind people of other things. It's not entirely unheard of.

[Not completely common, but not completely unheard of. Anders turns around, looking at their surroundings. There's a blue line on the map, at least, and there's a river nearby. Anders points to it.]

Let's follow that, and see where it leads.

Guess you're right fucked then. Not like we've got letters, and pens, and ravens to leave a note with.

[ Adric could probably do the humble thing and admit he maybe didn't do as much research into communications here as he could have. But, on the other hand, he could continue his trend of being an uppity teenager. ]

Ravens, is it? I'm not certain I'm familiar with those. Is that some sort of title?

[Creeping down corridors to see if there's a beastie at the end of it is much more Jamie's speed. Treasure hunting, not so much. They're outdoors, though, which he can't complain about, and there's plenty of food so if at least they get lost they won't go hungry.

Given the quality of the map, however, he's starting to think that maybe they're going to wind up that way, and he frowns as he peers at the map, glances back up to take a look around, then peers at the map again.]

Ah, are you sure you've got the map the right way around? I'm no so sure there's anything around here that looks like that.

I don't know what other way of turning it could make it make more sense. It's almost ridiculous.

[ But Adric can concede that they're sure not making real progress like this. And having food to get by with is something that should be considered a high priority. He turns the map upside-down for starters. ]

Maybe this was drawn for an entirely different part of the planet?

Could be, I suppose, but I've not heard of anyone exploring anything outside of Thedas.

[That doesn't mean it couldn't be something like that, but privately he had his doubts.]

Wonder if it fell through one of the rifts. There's been some odd things that've turned up here before.

[Why would the Inquisition want them to follow it if that's the case, though? It didn't make any sense. Looking at the map upside down didn't make any sense, either, and a rather disgruntled-sounding noise came from the back of his throat.]

Maybe we'd be best off not using it and see what we can come up with on our own instead. Did they say what we're supposed to be looking for?

[ Jamie is turning out to be a very sensible man. He can kind of see why he's handy in these sorts of situations.

What good is a map that can't be understood from any angle? What good is a treasure that hasn't even been described to them? Speaking of which, Adric shakes his head while he folds the map back up. Doesn't hurt to wander off a bit once in a while. ]

I haven't the faintest idea. For all we know, we could be wasting time hunting down someone's favorite hat stand. [ Now, if the Doctor were here, the one with the scarf at least, he'd probably find that very interesting. ]

I suppose the mystery is part of the appeal, though.

Unless that mystery winds up with us finding some wee beastie wearing boots.

[Or someone's love letters, or something that wants them to collect flowers or any of half a dozen other ridiculous things he can think of off the top of his head. But maybe they'll find something more exciting instead - and the thought of that is enough to get him to take a second look at his surroundings to see if there's anything that stands out.]

There's a waterfall around here somewhere if we want to try having a go at listening for it, or we can see where yon path here goes. Unless you've a better idea?

Messages are public by default but you can make them private to whoever, just say the name of the person you want. And you know you have a message when your crystal is glowing. It's not as tough as it seems at first, honest. You get used to it.

[ Oh boy, he's definitely taking an important mental note of those tips. ]

Well, that's a relief. I'm only familiar with technology that requires a bit more... fiddling. For lack of a better term.

[ A term that the Doctor used more than once, and one that's surprisingly very astute. ]

Edited 2017-03-03 03:58 (UTC)

It's all relatively new to us, too. These crystals are the first real long-distance communication we've ever had, it took a while to get used to them. But they're a damn sight more convenient than sending ravens back and forth.

[Oh... there was a voice for sore hearts. The Doctor had never forgiven himself for Adric's death. Not really. But of all his many companions that he 'never forgot', Adric was always the easiest to remember.]

I don't bother with them. Much better to talk to people in person.

[And he's had this body so long, he's forgotten that there would be no way for someone to realise, he's the Doctor just from the crystal.]

[ Finally. Someone speaking sense. ]

I'd have to agree with you there, yes. At the very least, you can properly see someone else in person. Not that these couldn't prove useful in some sort of an emergency. I imagine people find their share of those in this world.

[Don't tell him that. He never tries to make sense.]

Yes. Yes. Yes. Exactly. And they do. But, if you don't like them. There is pen and paper. Though paper is exceptionally expensive in these parts.

I still prefer in person. How are you, Adric?

[ That sure gives him pause. ]

If I'm being honest, I was doing rather well before I realized you knew my name.

[The Doctor chuckles softly.]

Oh, that's because I was a different man when you knew me... But you... hardly seemed to have changed at all.

I probably haven't changed, then. It's awfully strange for timelines, being brought here. There's no way to ensure anyone will be lined up properly.

[ He hesitates, for a moment. Time to make an assumption that's either horribly wrong or very accurate. One of the benefits of only really knowing a small group of people anymore is that it narrows the field. ]

I can't imagine the headache it must give you, Doctor.

Me? Oh, you know me, complicated event in space and time. The headache comes from trying to read the timelines of everyone not from our universe.

[Yup, the Doctor, not that he'll congratulate Adric on getting it right. After all, he pretty much left a trail of breadcrumbs.]

Have you been trying to do that often?

[ he should probably sound disapproving or concerned, but Adric mostly just sounds curious about whether or not it means anything especially interesting here. ]

Adric, It's how I see things. It's not like a tap. I can't just turn it off.

[Well, he can ignore it. But he's billions of years old now. He either ignores everything or nothing these days.]

[ Cue a vague, wordless noise of acknowledgement. ]

Just asking. You never know what to expect with a new regeneration, after all.

Some things are there no matter the regeneration.

[Like, well, he's king of all of him now.]

adric | doctor who

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