TEST DRIVE MEME!

[faderifting]

I ROLL TO SEDUCE THE BEAR

Tucked between the massive Lake Calenhad and the icy Frostback Mountains in Ferelden’s chilly, hilly south, the Hinterlands are a region covered in patchy forests, small farms, and a bustling fishing village called Redcliffe. The region was recently the frontline of a war between mages and Templars, but the Inquisition’s military presence has restored order and is now focused on helping the locals and influx of refugees rebuild their lives. Whether you’re a recent recruit or a hardened veteran, a Fereldan local or someone who recently fell out of a rift from another world, you may be asked to go lend a hand.

I. FLOODS

A burst of unseasonably warm weather (in no way inspired by real life events) is initially greeted with relief, gloves discarded and scarves unwrapped—but followed within the week by severe flooding across the region. Maybe you’re sent out to help debris from a road or collect the bodies of those swept away. Or maybe you’re less lucky and instead there when the waters come, shepherding refugees to higher ground, or caught riding in the flow on a dislodged roof or log. Maybe there’s a bear on the roof with you.

II. TREASURE HUNTS

Given the lack of banks and lockboxes, when the people here have something they value, they often hide it—under the ground, in a tree, behind a waterfall. So here you are, with a sketch of some landmarks found on a body, trying to find… something. If you find it, it might be useful: weapons, runes, a stash of supplies. Or it might be someone’s box of racy letters and a request to deliver them to a now-married woman who will slap you on delivery.

III. BEARS

You have turned the wrong corner, forded the wrong stream, crested the wrong hill, entered the wrong cave. Maybe you are far from camp. Maybe you are in camp. Whatever has happened, wherever you are: you are being chased by bears. Did you provoke the bears? Are they huge? Babies? Fade-touched? Mage-controlled? What are they chasing you away from? What are they chasing you into? What do you plan to make out of their hide if you kill them? What do you think they'll craft out of your hide if they kill you?

IV. CRYSTALS

Members and trusted agents of the Inquisition are given access to one of the Inquisition's stores of ancient, mysterious sending crystals, allowing them to communicate instantaneously by voice. It's magic. And a magical excuse to ask everyone what their favorite constellation is in the middle of the night.

Or to call for help because you've been treed by bears.

Either way.

V. MISCELLANEOUS

Choose your own adventure! Hunt game, kill demons, gather herbs, track bandits, haggle over the price of armor, fall off a deceptively tall rock, get lost circling the same hill ten times trying to find a way up to the weird glowing skull on a stick you can see is up there, climb trees or abandoned towers, rummage around in empty homes, run from a dragon, cry over how cute that fennec fox you just shot was, set up camp and chat around the fire, knock yourself out (figuratively, or even literally if that's more your speed)—the Hinterlands are your Frostback Mountain oyster.

Comments

[wardeneructate]

Grumbling about rude people not sending invites, he helped Anders by being the one to pull the innards away and even putting them on a cloth from some camping supplies he had. They'd be good to have later since they could be used for other things. Could even get some good sausages cooked up in those guts.

"Women are into that whole men liking men thing. They'd be all over you two just chirping away. It's not fair at all." He heard that last part and went over again.

"Sounds like a story for alcohol." He laughed a bit. "You can't hold your liquor but you're going to have a drink while we eat roast bear. Then you can tell me. Until then I want to hear about this Kaisa girl."

He gave a little grin. "Has she got a good chest to flop onto?"

[justice_is_blond]

He snickered as Oghren griped and then changed topics, wagging a finger at the dwarf and starting to gather some wood so they can cook the meat.

"She's a very pleasant shape. You might have to bathe before she'd let you close, though. And by now I'm certain that anyone chirping over my love for Nate is very aware of the fact I've no intention of straying. As far as the other..."

The happy expression fades and Anders sighs. "I don't know how you've not heard." He'd much prefer to focus on stacking the wood up and casting.

[wardeneructate]

So they were talking about this without the booze, huh? He sighed and went to yank fur back before dragging it over to rest over a rock to try out the moist parts. Really it looked like a little kid trying to haul a blanket too big for him. A smelly hair kid but still a kid.

With that done, he went about helping to chop up the meat. There was a grumph to his voice now as he spoke. "Thought that was a thing I dreamed up while I was passed out under a table. You telling me you actually blew something up."

[justice_is_blond]

It's been a very long time since he's gotten drunk, and after having many times where he's lost control thanks to Justice, Anders isn't really sure he wants to lose control again. Sober isn't a great state for this, but it's better.

"I... I am." He started placing rocks around the fire and rinsing them off with fast-melting ice so the meat can be cooked on them. "I wasn't in a good place, I was possessed, and I made a poor decision. A stupid, desperate decision, after several friends had been killed and the Circle was about to be slaughtered."

While Anders can't defend the decision, it hadn't happened in isolation.

[wardeneructate]

Yep. They should have been drinking for this. Oghren wasn't that big on all this serious talk for long so after a moment, he ended up doing the best thing to break the tension. Something he was really good at.

He passed a big bubble of gas that sounded like some sort of horn trumpeting from his ass region. A little laugh after that and he grinned at him. "Guess my rump doesn't care much about all that."

Then he went to cutting the meat of the bear into manageable slabs. "So, possessed huh? That some new one for an infection in your nethers? Not sure I've ever blown anything up when I've had one of those. Usually it just gets itchy and pussy then I dump some salve on it till it goes away. Works like a charm."