allthisshitisweird | TEST DRIVE MEME!

I ROLL TO SEDUCE THE BEAR

Tucked between the massive Lake Calenhad and the icy Frostback Mountains in Ferelden’s chilly, hilly south, the Hinterlands are a region covered in patchy forests, small farms, and a bustling fishing village called Redcliffe. The region was recently the frontline of a war between mages and Templars, but the Inquisition’s military presence has restored order and is now focused on helping the locals and influx of refugees rebuild their lives. Whether you’re a recent recruit or a hardened veteran, a Fereldan local or someone who recently fell out of a rift from another world, you may be asked to go lend a hand.

I. FLOODS

A burst of unseasonably warm weather (in no way inspired by real life events) is initially greeted with relief, gloves discarded and scarves unwrapped—but followed within the week by severe flooding across the region. Maybe you’re sent out to help debris from a road or collect the bodies of those swept away. Or maybe you’re less lucky and instead there when the waters come, shepherding refugees to higher ground, or caught riding in the flow on a dislodged roof or log. Maybe there’s a bear on the roof with you.

II. TREASURE HUNTS

Given the lack of banks and lockboxes, when the people here have something they value, they often hide it—under the ground, in a tree, behind a waterfall. So here you are, with a sketch of some landmarks found on a body, trying to find… something. If you find it, it might be useful: weapons, runes, a stash of supplies. Or it might be someone’s box of racy letters and a request to deliver them to a now-married woman who will slap you on delivery.

III. BEARS

You have turned the wrong corner, forded the wrong stream, crested the wrong hill, entered the wrong cave. Maybe you are far from camp. Maybe you are in camp. Whatever has happened, wherever you are: you are being chased by bears. Did you provoke the bears? Are they huge? Babies? Fade-touched? Mage-controlled? What are they chasing you away from? What are they chasing you into? What do you plan to make out of their hide if you kill them? What do you think they'll craft out of your hide if they kill you?

IV. CRYSTALS

Members and trusted agents of the Inquisition are given access to one of the Inquisition's stores of ancient, mysterious sending crystals, allowing them to communicate instantaneously by voice. It's magic. And a magical excuse to ask everyone what their favorite constellation is in the middle of the night.

Or to call for help because you've been treed by bears.

Either way.

V. MISCELLANEOUS

Choose your own adventure! Hunt game, kill demons, gather herbs, track bandits, haggle over the price of armor, fall off a deceptively tall rock, get lost circling the same hill ten times trying to find a way up to the weird glowing skull on a stick you can see is up there, climb trees or abandoned towers, rummage around in empty homes, run from a dragon, cry over how cute that fennec fox you just shot was, set up camp and chat around the fire, knock yourself out (figuratively, or even literally if that's more your speed)—the Hinterlands are your Frostback Mountain oyster.

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Romana! [The voice is wonderfully familiar, even if it's surprising to hear her here.] What are you doing here? Shouldn't you be off being President?

'What am I doing here?' Indeed. I was hoping you would have the answer to that question.

[Her voice might have wobbled the slightest bit. Because, if the Doctor didn't know, they were all in trouble.]

Well it's not that unreasonable, is it? Now me, I'm always getting into trouble like this, waking up in strange places with no memory of how I got there, getting captured, running from all manner of things... You've travelled with me, you know how it goes. But the Madam President here? That's strange, not to mention a bit worrying.

Were you on Gallifrey before you came here?

It might be, everything can be boiled down to science, after all.

[Then he asked the question. That she has no idea how to answer.]

Of course I was. Where else would the President of Gallifrey be found?

[The more poignant question is which Gallifrey. Romana doesn't even feel sure any longer. ~~Well, yes she does, it's the mun who can't remember and the wiki pages haven't been updated yet for 'Enemy Lines'~~.]

What about you, Doctor? Where were you when you brought here?

That may be so, but call me a bit of a romantic, I still like the idea that there might be some things out there in all of space and time that we can't yet explain. Always keep an open mind.

[It's a bit of evasion as well; he's not certain he wants to get into too much detail on where he was before here, so he keeps it brief.]

Oh you know, rattling about the universe as I do. I'm rather more worried about what Gallifrey might do when they realise their President is missing. Do you think you'll find yourself replaced when you return?

Even if I have been replaced, I have a feeling they'd want to reinstate me.

[Seeing as they're about to go into war and all. Brax had been right.]

Besides, what other president will you listen to?

[It is said playfully. But she is very serious. Gallifrey needs the Doctor more than ever, and Romana is absolutely going to use their friendship as a way to get him to help.]

Me? [That gets something of a bitter laugh.] I hardly see how that matters, Romana. Or are you forgetting I've exiled myself?

Yes, but if I asked you to do something... As a personal favour. You're much more likely to help me than any other president.

[She knows the Doctor still like her. "Best ever friend" and all...]

[He gives a chuckle there, unable to argue that particular point, and the tension in his voice fades.]

I suppose that's true. Mostly because at least you'll only ask me, unlike the other times Gallifrey has tried to get me to do something for them.

And it is good to hear your voice again, Romana. I wouldn't mind hearing it in person either, if you like. We could share some tea?

[Well, she was always difficult to argue with. It's one of the reasons she's president now. And what makes Narvin so important. She needs someone to stand up to her and force her to question her 'rightness'.]

Do they even have tea here?

[She doesn't sound so sure the 'tea' part is a good idea.]

Romana, what kind of question is that? They seem reasonable, I'm certain someone's thought of putting dried plant matter in hot water and drinking it by now.

And if not, well we'll just have to invent it, won't we?

Oh they're reasonable enough. Just a bit... primitive. More so than what I've grown accustomed to recently, anyway.

[She pauses.]

Invent it? Well... I suppose since this isn't our universe, we don't have to worry about mucking the timelines up too much...

[It's been awhile since she's had that kind of freedom. Being President had it's downsides.]

That's what happens when you spend all your time on Gallifrey. Your horizons shrink. You need to get out more.

[They can't see each other, but she can likely hear the smile in his voice.]

Come on, Romana, let's live a little while we're here. Put the past behind us, just for a bit.

[She wishes it were that simple. But he does have a point.]

I think I'd prefer rekindling the past. You're right about Gallifrey. It's been far too long since I've travelled. Might need you to remind me how it's done....

Some matters are better left to turn to ash instead of rekindled.

[There's a pause, then he softens.]

I'd love to welcome you aboard my TARDIS again if I could, you know. But I'm afraid all I can offer is reminiscing a bit.

Well, I've had the Presidential TARDIS, so no TARDIS is a welcome change.

[Well, she's trying to be positive.]

It would be good to see you again, though. It's been too long.

Has it? Curious, in my memory it's been moments since we last spoke. Perhaps we should compare notes as well.

The garden, perhaps?

[Ohhhh, oops.]

The garden is a lovely idea. I'll be there in about ten minutes.

......

[Romana was standing in the garden waiting to see the Doctor. At least by his voice, she knew which Doctor to look for. She smiled when she saw him.]

Doctor. It is good to see you again.

TEST DRIVE MEME!

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lmao I love bfa but man keeping this canon straight in my head is a nightmare at times

I haven't listened to EL since it was released, so my memory about it is toast

I feel this. Then there's the books I haven't read in years either ffft

The Books are practically impossible for me to get, so I don't bother :(

I have a lot of them in pdfs tbh. Used to get them at libraries but a lot don't have them now :(

mine has some nuwho, but no classic/target books to speak of.

all we seem to have here are dvds sadly. I should see if there are any used bookstores around tho

used bookstores are good for that. As are interlibrary loans :D

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