allthisshitisweird | TEST DRIVE MEME!

I ROLL TO SEDUCE THE BEAR

Tucked between the massive Lake Calenhad and the icy Frostback Mountains in Ferelden’s chilly, hilly south, the Hinterlands are a region covered in patchy forests, small farms, and a bustling fishing village called Redcliffe. The region was recently the frontline of a war between mages and Templars, but the Inquisition’s military presence has restored order and is now focused on helping the locals and influx of refugees rebuild their lives. Whether you’re a recent recruit or a hardened veteran, a Fereldan local or someone who recently fell out of a rift from another world, you may be asked to go lend a hand.

I. FLOODS

A burst of unseasonably warm weather (in no way inspired by real life events) is initially greeted with relief, gloves discarded and scarves unwrapped—but followed within the week by severe flooding across the region. Maybe you’re sent out to help debris from a road or collect the bodies of those swept away. Or maybe you’re less lucky and instead there when the waters come, shepherding refugees to higher ground, or caught riding in the flow on a dislodged roof or log. Maybe there’s a bear on the roof with you.

II. TREASURE HUNTS

Given the lack of banks and lockboxes, when the people here have something they value, they often hide it—under the ground, in a tree, behind a waterfall. So here you are, with a sketch of some landmarks found on a body, trying to find… something. If you find it, it might be useful: weapons, runes, a stash of supplies. Or it might be someone’s box of racy letters and a request to deliver them to a now-married woman who will slap you on delivery.

III. BEARS

You have turned the wrong corner, forded the wrong stream, crested the wrong hill, entered the wrong cave. Maybe you are far from camp. Maybe you are in camp. Whatever has happened, wherever you are: you are being chased by bears. Did you provoke the bears? Are they huge? Babies? Fade-touched? Mage-controlled? What are they chasing you away from? What are they chasing you into? What do you plan to make out of their hide if you kill them? What do you think they'll craft out of your hide if they kill you?

IV. CRYSTALS

Members and trusted agents of the Inquisition are given access to one of the Inquisition's stores of ancient, mysterious sending crystals, allowing them to communicate instantaneously by voice. It's magic. And a magical excuse to ask everyone what their favorite constellation is in the middle of the night.

Or to call for help because you've been treed by bears.

Either way.

V. MISCELLANEOUS

Choose your own adventure! Hunt game, kill demons, gather herbs, track bandits, haggle over the price of armor, fall off a deceptively tall rock, get lost circling the same hill ten times trying to find a way up to the weird glowing skull on a stick you can see is up there, climb trees or abandoned towers, rummage around in empty homes, run from a dragon, cry over how cute that fennec fox you just shot was, set up camp and chat around the fire, knock yourself out (figuratively, or even literally if that's more your speed)—the Hinterlands are your Frostback Mountain oyster.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

[Korrin promptly claims a seat right in front of him, surprised to see this mood shift but naturally going to take advantage of it.]

Hell yeah, and the wine. Deal me in. Where've you been, Fenris?

Nowhere important, chasing down a lot of no one important. All of whom are no longer a threat now.

[It's more or less true, to keep it to the really short and simple explanation. Any time he brings down such a huge slaver ring is worth celebrating. He pours her a glass, handing it over before he starts shuffling.]

How much are you willing to wager this time?

I hope some of those chased down were part of a club that began with 'V'. And that you scared the shit out of them before they died.

[Venomous? Yeah, but that's what happens when the Venatori go after her kadan. She takes the glass and sips, the wine improving her mood and renewing her focus.]

Let's start with ten. Silver, or go home.

[Betting copper is for the kiddie table, okay.]

Of course they were... and when have you ever known me to show them any mercy?

[Aside from a certain blade by that very name, anyway. He's thinking about that recent battle, and how it had all gone down. No matter how many slavers he kills, he never quite feels entirely... satisfied. That burning anger in him is never quite quenched entirely. But at least for now, he's going to savor this small victory.]

You must be feeling lucky, tonight. I'm fine with that. [He'll see her bet, and with their cards now dealt, he puts in his wager to match hers.]

Never, but I like to hear it.

[She smirks and pauses from sipping the wine long enough to place the silver on the tail. There's plenty to spare and she hasn't seen Fenris in a while, so it's worth the risk.]

If you don't win it, it'll just go toward buying rounds anyway.

[She shrugs, taking a look at her hand...and discards one right away, setting it aside or draw another.]

We'll need more people for game night. Varric and Iron Bull took off...not together, I don't think. A lot of folks I know have scattered to wherever the Inquisition's needed them.

If you want a more dramatic accounting of my exploits against the Venatori, you ought to bring Varric back here to tell it instead.

[It's a shame to hear that some others have moved on, but it's to be expected, too. The Inquisition needs a lot of help, all over Thedas, anyone can see that. He nods agreement to what she says, as he spreads his cards to look at them.]

That's a shame, we'll have to find some new recruits... What else has happened since I've been gone?

Absolutely, I'll pester people about that.

I don't know how close you've been to Orlais lately, but the Inquisition was there for the end of the Civil War. Celene still has her head, Gaspard lacks his, and Briala's now Marquise of the Dales. Not bad, all things considered. It only took the Freemen and Red Templars invading, and a hell of a lot of chaos.

Oh--and I rounded up a group to bring some nuggalopes to the Inquisition. We now have mounts with horns as awesome as mine. [Why yes, she's still smug about that victory. Discarding and drawing another card...there, that's a little better.]

You have been busy.

[Fenris takes another sip of wine, finding it somewhat amusing that the Inquisition will now be charging in on gigantic overgrown nugs with horns. It seems vert fitting all things considered.]

It's also about time all of those nobles sorted their business out... [He would roll his eyes at the thought of Orlesian politics as a whole, but, well, there's a strategic importance to having that war over and done with.] And I'll raise the bet. [He tosses in a couple more coins.]

Living dangerously, I see. Good, it's no fun otherwise.

[She smirks, fairly confident about her hand but the Angel of Death card hasn't been revealed yet. There's still time for it to improve further.]

It'll be a cold day in hell when those fucking nobles let go of their stupid Game, but at least now it's not interfering with important shit. The worst part? Once shit went down, I had to help guard the most whiny, pampered idiots in Orlais. One nearly ran into the Red Templars even though I told the idiot to stay close.

What can I say? I'm in the right sort of mood for it.

[He's definitely got a decent hand, decent enough that he feels pretty good about that bet.]

It almost doesn't sound worth it. At that point, I would have been sorely tempted to let him go, and learn that lesson the hard way. [He ultimately couldn't have, he knows, he'd have probably went on a grudging rescue before long.] These nobles and their Game are a joke compared to what's in Tevinter, of course... it's hard to take them seriously.

TEST DRIVE MEME!

V

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject