allthisshitisweird | TEST DRIVE MEME!

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TEST DRIVE MEME!

I ROLL TO SEDUCE THE BEAR

Tucked between the massive Lake Calenhad and the icy Frostback Mountains in Ferelden’s chilly, hilly south, the Hinterlands are a region covered in patchy forests, small farms, and a bustling fishing village called Redcliffe. The region was recently the frontline of a war between mages and Templars, but the Inquisition’s military presence has restored order and is now focused on helping the locals and influx of refugees rebuild their lives. Whether you’re a recent recruit or a hardened veteran, a Fereldan local or someone who recently fell out of a rift from another world, you may be asked to go lend a hand.

I. FLOODS

A burst of unseasonably warm weather (in no way inspired by real life events) is initially greeted with relief, gloves discarded and scarves unwrapped—but followed within the week by severe flooding across the region. Maybe you’re sent out to help debris from a road or collect the bodies of those swept away. Or maybe you’re less lucky and instead there when the waters come, shepherding refugees to higher ground, or caught riding in the flow on a dislodged roof or log. Maybe there’s a bear on the roof with you.

II. TREASURE HUNTS

Given the lack of banks and lockboxes, when the people here have something they value, they often hide it—under the ground, in a tree, behind a waterfall. So here you are, with a sketch of some landmarks found on a body, trying to find… something. If you find it, it might be useful: weapons, runes, a stash of supplies. Or it might be someone’s box of racy letters and a request to deliver them to a now-married woman who will slap you on delivery.

III. BEARS

You have turned the wrong corner, forded the wrong stream, crested the wrong hill, entered the wrong cave. Maybe you are far from camp. Maybe you are in camp. Whatever has happened, wherever you are: you are being chased by bears. Did you provoke the bears? Are they huge? Babies? Fade-touched? Mage-controlled? What are they chasing you away from? What are they chasing you into? What do you plan to make out of their hide if you kill them? What do you think they'll craft out of your hide if they kill you?

IV. CRYSTALS

Members and trusted agents of the Inquisition are given access to one of the Inquisition's stores of ancient, mysterious sending crystals, allowing them to communicate instantaneously by voice. It's magic. And a magical excuse to ask everyone what their favorite constellation is in the middle of the night.

Or to call for help because you've been treed by bears.

Either way.

V. MISCELLANEOUS

Choose your own adventure! Hunt game, kill demons, gather herbs, track bandits, haggle over the price of armor, fall off a deceptively tall rock, get lost circling the same hill ten times trying to find a way up to the weird glowing skull on a stick you can see is up there, climb trees or abandoned towers, rummage around in empty homes, run from a dragon, cry over how cute that fennec fox you just shot was, set up camp and chat around the fire, knock yourself out (figuratively, or even literally if that's more your speed)—the Hinterlands are your Frostback Mountain oyster.

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I. Floods

[Setting up took some time. Building the wheels, longer. But not long after the floods have swept through the village, Ade works to remove the debris from the road. Namely, by attaching logs to pulleys and pressganging the villagers into lending a hand. Of course, those villagers may not be too enthused, which is why she's taken up position at the end of the rope.]

On my count! Ready? [Mumbles and shouts arise.] Three. Two. One! Heave! [Heave.] Three. Two. One! Heave! [Heave. And just like that, slowly but surely, a log is returned from where it rolled into the muck to hanging in mid-air, not far from the home it originally belonged to.] You lot up there! Get ready with the hammers! [Now it's just a matter of reattaching it.]

On my count! Three. Two. One! Heave! [Slowly but surely, the log rises. Ade almost slips in the muck. She feels like home.]

II. Treasure

[It's dark, now. But the map said there would be a cache near the riverbank, and that's where Ade's wading for it. Still, searching through the silt and the weeds in the dark is just asking for finding nothing but pebbles. She glances around and sees nothing save the shapes of trees. Thinks she might be safe enough, so she kneels alongside the riverbank and breathes out. Slowly, carefully, measured. Like breathing a fire to light. Only in this case, it's… well, a light a light. Soft and white. After a few moments, the ball the size of an apple floats up, and around it, Ade feels the Fade ripple.]

A little more to the north this time? [She wonders aloud, before turning towards where the river branches off from the hill.]

[ She hadn't meant to get lost. Does anyone?

Definitely, she hadn't meant to wander off so close to dark, not knowing all the nonsense that lurks out in these hills lately. But the dog had to take a piss, and the problem with spending your life ranging the same little plot of countryside estate is that when it comes to anything else — trees, for example, or reeds and rivers — it all just kind of blends together.

Mysterious orbs of light do not.

She smothers the gasp with a hand pressed over her mouth, another dug tight into a raised of furry hackles. It's the latter which gives them away: A steady, rising growl from the throat of the old mabari. She's heard stories about wisps, about the little demons that lead over-curious young children to their certain doom. It's just she stopped hearing about those when she was maybe six.

Both their eyes glint in the dark as Cerise freezes, gaze locked on Ade through the dim. A silent, whispered, fuck, fuck, fuck, ]

[Ade stands up. It's hard not to feel eyes on her, especially when she turns around and sees a pair of them, gleaming. Instinct tells her to run for it, hide somewhere. But she clamps down on the urge. She doesn't dismiss the light, though perhaps she should, instead allowing it to circle in a pointed arc around her. It bobbles and weaves near the weeds.]

Show yourself! [She stands tall. There is nothing to fear. She lets herself believe that.]

[ That sounds like a super bad plan.

But hanging out in this exact spot the rest of her short life waiting for a — A what? A demon-summoner? Some kind of terrible unknown mage? Is this what abominations do, again? — to come for her is worse.

Slowly, Cerise eases her fingers free of Dog, raises from her crouch to call: ]

Don't make a move, [ (A little afraid, a little petulant, striving vainly to show neither,) ] Or they'll all come running.

[ An empty bluff, there's no one else out this far. Her legs feel like jelly, but she manages a few halting steps forward, free of the treeline; a tiny elven girl in disheveled homespun, hands balled into shaking fists at her side. ]

[If she were another sort of Mage, this is when the ball of light becomes a ball of fire, and a standoff becomes a pitched battle, and there's so much shouting and cursing. But... well, luckily or otherwise (and at times like this, it certainly seems like otherwise), Ade is... not that sort of Mage.

There's a threat, of course. Perhaps there really are others. If so, it would be best not to pick a fight with just one of them. If not, well. Then there's nothing to worry about at all.]

Do you have a light? [She calls, still loudly, still trying to stay calm. She's yet to dismiss the light, and it catches her skin as it floats in a lazy, bobbing circle around her. Her hands are on her hips, trying to project a power she doesn't quite feel.]

Don’t need one,

[ She retorts. Not her fault that shem can’t see for shit —

— But alright, so there’s not much of a moon tonight, it’s not like she’s doing much better. Possibly, that kind of pride, it’s how she’s gotten a little of this lost. Possibly, it's something about herself she should reevaluate. Possibly, she doesn't actually know everything there is to know just yet. Possibly.

(Sounds fake.) ]

What’re you fiddling about with that for — [ A wary question, one she's conscious Ade's already answered, in a way. She's every bit as aware that she doesn’t trust it.] — At this time of night?

[ Like it’d be any better by day. Dog chuffs, pads a short distance closer to regard the mage. ]

This is Inquisition land.

[ It's no one's land at all. It's the middle of the fucking woods, and she's having a more difficult time by the minute guessing why anyone would ever want to claim it. ]

[Whatever she says. But she answers her question without much further fuss.]

A map says there ought to be something interesting around this river. I'm here to find it. [She'd show off said map, except she's fairly sure that it's not very legible in the middle of the night and after maybe landing in the river a few times.]

Was, anyway. [Things have gotten a bit off track, haven't they?]

What kind of interesting?

[ Still deeply suspicious, but curious now, despite herself —

(That’s how the wisps work, idiot,)

— Cerise steps down to fall in line beside the mabari. Jostled by the motion, her left hand slips open just a crack, sends faint green light emanating from her palm. Grudgingly: ]

You’re not going to find anything in there but fish.

[ From the way Dog’s snuffling at the ground, that’s not true at all. ]

The worth a fair bit of coin kind.

[At least, that's what she assumed. She doubts they would've bothered with the map for a spare pair of boots and some elfroot. Ade doesn't feel quite so on edge now, though. Still keeping her guard up, because of course she is, but not planning to bolt the second the elf looks the other way. As for the green light, well. She decides it's best not to ask, hoping that she'll extend the same courtesy. It does make her smile, just a bit.]

Looks like your dog thinks otherwise. [Not that she's an expert in dogs, but the snuffling's a fairly obvious give away.]

[She'd been out gathering plants for the Inquisition today. A necessary task given how many people they take in constantly. Of course some of what is needed is further away but that doesn't bother her since she's used to being something of a nomad. It's the culture she grew up in. Honestly it's odd to her that lowlanders often seem so content to stay in one place their entire lives. Compared to the Avvar who settle for awhile then move on it seems so...permanent.

But yes, she's been out looking for plants when she hears a voice near where she's about to set up camp for the night. Studying the area, she notices a ball of light float up and decides that camp can wait for now. Moving through the trees, she spots the woman. Another lowlander likely but also possibly a mage. That alone is enough to get her to somewhat relax. Somewhat. Lowlanders are still very odd to her.]

Do you look for something?

[Ade's still standing in the reeds, though she looks up at the interloper. She doesn't know quite what to make of her, but she assumes that since they haven't shouted for a Templar, they might be a decent sort. The light keeps floating lazily around her, not directed in any way or the other.]

I heard there might be something buried here. [She crosses her arms.] Haven't been lucky so far.

Something?

[Moving closer, she looks at the ground to see if there is anything disturbed. Well, minus what this woman has disturbed already. Soon she's kneeling down and the staff at her back becomes more visible as she runs her fingers over the earth. Either the thing is very buried or it has been swept away after being uncovered. At least if it really is this location.]

This soil might not be so good for burying.

Something. [She nods. At about this point, Ade notices the staff at her back and speaks nothing of it. She could, she supposes, but... well, other people's magic is none of her business, so long as she's not going to cause much fuss about her own.]

Maybe it slid downstream... [At least, if the thing she's looking for is chest shaped, and she's willing to bet it is.]

Possibly.

[She studies the land a second more then looks at the water to see how fast it is moving. Not overly so currently but heavy rains and such could have sped it up. Unless this woman knows when this thing was buried, she's doubting that currently since she doesn't seem to know what it is, then likely they won't know where it ended up.

Rising up to her feet, she walks along the river to see if any plants have been disturbed to see if maybe something recent took place.]

It seems a foolish thing to bury so close to water.

Don't ask me. [She's not the one who buried it. Some of the reeds seem disturbed further in, and she thinks she might be onto something.]

Have you a flat stone? A large one?

[She's crouching near the new area, running her fingers over it. Perhaps it ended up here? She figures they'll know soon enough.]

I will in a moment.

[Thank you, river. It doesn't take too long to find a rock that's been weathered by the water until it flattened out, and when she does, she passes it along to her companion.]

It seems the waters did not make it travel far. Whatever it might be. It might have settled here since the soil is drier. Perhaps a storm carried it.

[Whatever happened, she works the stone into the ground, careful about not breaking the reeds in the process. Rather she seems to be shifting the ground so they can continue to grow where they are.]

Since you have light, we will need your eyes.

[To look for it.]

On it.

[She kneels in the muck, and if she's at all bothered, she's not showing it. The light floats over from where it's been bobbing, and this time she focuses on making sure it stays put. It hovers not far from them.

She digs with her hands, if it helps.]

[With the other woman looking, she focuses on digging. She imagines will only be shallowly in there so she spends more time shifting dirt to the side than really putting depth in there. Besides, it does help to widen the area so that way it's easier to actually see into the hole.

After a time she pauses when she thinks she might have hit something. A box? Another stone? Hard to tell.]

What is this?

[She pulls up on the edge of what she's found.]

Looks like a box.

[Not too old. Made of wood. Locked, of course. That's important, because it tells her there's something of value inside.]

Bash the lock.

[One way to find out.]

[Break the lock. She knows it's a good option but really that rush to destroy something... But she bites her tongue and works to get the box up to a better angle first. She's covered in mud at this point though she shows no signs of that bothering her as she sits and lifts her rock up so she can smash it against the lock.

And...nothing.

So she tries again. Give her a few tries. It's not like she goes around breaking locks all the time.]

[Ioane, thank Andraste, hasn't been roped into the Rivaini's mess. She's been too busy running herbs too and from healers, fetching wine for nobles, and emptying piss-pots in discrete places. It's stupid, too, because she'd much rather be pulling rope than running errands, but she doesn't have a choice unless she wants to pull rope on her break, which, sorry, she isn't.]

[She wanders up next to the woman in charge, a little impressed by her forceful personality despite herself. People who can make things go are fascinating in and of themselves.]

[Despite herself, she grabs for the woman when she nearly slips, trying to help her up.] Watch your arse.

[The help's appreciated, but Ade's too busy re-taking up her position at the ropes to do much more than nod and try to get some of the muck off.]

Difficult to do when it's behind you.

[Was that flirting? Probably not. Maker, she's tired.]

Most people manage okay.

[So that's apparently what she's doing, standing behind a woman and not helping her. Well, shit. She's done worse.]

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TEST DRIVE MEME!

Ade Tokunbo | (Native OC)

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