crystal malfunction memevent

[faderifting]

crystals get fucked
(a meme slash tiny game event)

The Inquisition’s sending crystals are typically very reliable and not susceptible to accidental transmissions or misdelivered messages. They’re also fairly limited in function and security.

The latter is something that researchers in Skyhold are working to address, when they have the time. Unfortunately, one of them—maybe a little angry about having to work alone on First Day, maybe day drinking while she does so—has now made some significant errors while meddling with proposed improvements. And from the beginning of the day on Wintermarch 1, the sending crystals will start behaving badly:

Messages might transmit to the wrong person.

Messages might transmit to the right person but also a few additional unintended people.

Messages might transmit to everyone at once.

Pieces of old conversations from any point in the last year or so might leak, either to individuals or to everyone. Delayed messages of that sort will sound distant, like they’re coming from the end of a long tunnel.

Attempts to transition from a public to a private conversation will sometimes fail.

Crystals may start transmitting to people or to everyone at random, without being touched.

All of this could occur at any time—sometimes at the beginning of a conversation, sometimes midway through it, sometimes when someone isn’t using the crystal at all.

The problems will start out sporadic enough to seem insignificant or like probable user errors, but grow increasingly common as the day wears on, until the issue is identified and corrected at Skyhold in the early hours of Wintermarch 2 and the tipsy researcher disciplined accordingly.

This meme/event is game canon. You can decide among yourselves if there’s something you would rather try out for fun with no consequences and/or retcon after the fact, as always, but unless otherwise established by players, this is really happening. Threads done in this post can count toward activity rewards.

Additionally, this specific post is for open top-levels that anyone can tag and threadjack. Think TFLN in style/format, missing pants optional. Don’t post closed or locked conversations here. If you want to do specific misfires with specific people, you can use inboxes. You can also post to the rookery comm if you want to use the event for a more visible gamewide open post.

Comments

[indissection]

Oh, to find a husband, I suppose.

[ From the woman who realises what’s happened to her and vaguely knows what’s going on. ]

[limier]

They do wander off.

[ ba dum ts. ]

You will wish to define your terms. Kirkwall owns no shortage of cocks — but if that is where the use of them ends —

[indissection]

Madame!

[ And she tries to sound genuinely outraged at the language. ]

A wedding will be something important, surely. My mother would be miserable otherwise.

[limier]

Ser,

[ no admonishment in the correction ]

Mothers are mortal. Men, too — but his qualities of greater import.

[ like: 'easily poisoned' ]

[indissection]

Perhaps I should have you in charge of my choice of spouse and not my mother.

[limier]

If more of you wed the Maker, we'd have done with half the nonsense about this place.

[indissection]

There are many men I’d happily choose over the Maker, ser.

[limier]

No? You needn't kiss Him, and He hasn't the wish.

[ there's been very little i want in this conversation — and as finely-bred voices go (finely-bred as any Nevarran, they all sound as if they've been gargling porcupines) she must be long in the tooth to not already be engaged. ]

[indissection]

But He also won’t give my mother what she wishes, and I imagine our union to be terribly boring.

[limier]

[ mildly, ]

I have found the imagination of many a Sister to expand, among those of like mind.

[ fuck a nun, kid ]

[indissection]

I don’t think I’d enjoy such shared imaginings, no matter the occasion.

[ is she hot ]

[limier]

[ is she ]

That seems worth telling an intended, no?

[indissection]

If I had one I’d share it.

[ solid 11/10 ]

[limier]

If you've no interest in kissing, it is a poor way to begin.

Are there not — [ entire books with the names and bloodlines of rich ppl ] — Lists, for this manner of thing?

[bouchonne]

[ The sound of laughter. ]

You're a fine mentor, Ser.

[limier]

Who is this?

[ she knows who he is ]

[bouchonne]

An admirer. And one surprised by your acquaintance with the more lascivious side of Kirkwall.

[limier]

She's any other side?

[bouchonne]

I've been made to understand that there are things such as places of worship. Sweets-shops. Unless those are actually fronts for something disreputable...?

[limier]

I am more familiar with the absence of the former.

[ .png ]

NOT KITTY

[bouchonne]

Oh, I don't know. Perhaps you're just not worshipping right.

new trend threadjack your own characters

[limier]

How ought one?

god my threads would literally never end

[bouchonne]

Oh, I couldn't tell you. I'd have to show you.

"bartimaeus/vor crossover dragon age au fic"

[limier]

You cannot so struggle for words.

i can say with confidence it would be the very first

[bouchonne]

Ah, Ser, I am a simple and tongue-tied man. Will you let me show you?