crystal malfunction memevent

[faderifting]

crystals get fucked
(a meme slash tiny game event)

The Inquisition’s sending crystals are typically very reliable and not susceptible to accidental transmissions or misdelivered messages. They’re also fairly limited in function and security.

The latter is something that researchers in Skyhold are working to address, when they have the time. Unfortunately, one of them—maybe a little angry about having to work alone on First Day, maybe day drinking while she does so—has now made some significant errors while meddling with proposed improvements. And from the beginning of the day on Wintermarch 1, the sending crystals will start behaving badly:

Messages might transmit to the wrong person.

Messages might transmit to the right person but also a few additional unintended people.

Messages might transmit to everyone at once.

Pieces of old conversations from any point in the last year or so might leak, either to individuals or to everyone. Delayed messages of that sort will sound distant, like they’re coming from the end of a long tunnel.

Attempts to transition from a public to a private conversation will sometimes fail.

Crystals may start transmitting to people or to everyone at random, without being touched.

All of this could occur at any time—sometimes at the beginning of a conversation, sometimes midway through it, sometimes when someone isn’t using the crystal at all.

The problems will start out sporadic enough to seem insignificant or like probable user errors, but grow increasingly common as the day wears on, until the issue is identified and corrected at Skyhold in the early hours of Wintermarch 2 and the tipsy researcher disciplined accordingly.

This meme/event is game canon. You can decide among yourselves if there’s something you would rather try out for fun with no consequences and/or retcon after the fact, as always, but unless otherwise established by players, this is really happening. Threads done in this post can count toward activity rewards.

Additionally, this specific post is for open top-levels that anyone can tag and threadjack. Think TFLN in style/format, missing pants optional. Don’t post closed or locked conversations here. If you want to do specific misfires with specific people, you can use inboxes. You can also post to the rookery comm if you want to use the event for a more visible gamewide open post.

Comments

[wythersake]

Corypheus' must have been tragic. Imagine growing up with that name.

[bouchonne]

Do you suppose he had a childhood nickname? Riffy? Cor-cor?

[wythersake]

Phe-phe.

[untiltheyarent]

Yes?

[wythersake]

[ SHIT SHIT SHIT ]

[untiltheyarent]

...Messere Isaac? Did you need something?

[wythersake]

Mme. Mariette,

[ he has never needed anything less in his LIFE ]

Are you conspiring in dread secret to unseat the Magisterium?

[ ok so corypheus is doing it pretty openly ]

[untiltheyarent]

[She does have to take a moment to think about it. Perhaps this isn't an ideal conversation to have while under the employ of people with Magister blood, but who's to say?]

...not that I know of?

[wythersake]

Another theory for the fire. A pity — you'd look spendid on a dragon.

[untiltheyarent]

Well.

[pleasantly surprised,] thank you, messere.

[wythersake]

[ be nice to people who have seen you set a drawing room on fire and — other things, probably, that he doesn't remember so well — ]

Surely there's no gratitude due truth.

[bouchonne]

How sweet you are to that lady, friend.

[ HMMMMMM ]

[wythersake]

Don't fret, you'll always make the second loveliest Corypheus.

[bouchonne]

How dare you. She holds not a candle compared to me.

[wythersake]

Rather more a lantern.

[bouchonne]

What! How is that possible. I'm the most attractive person in the world.

[wythersake]

Do we consider Ferelden the world?

[bouchonne]

They named the Old God of beauty after me.

[wythersake]

I'd heard Tevinter is cruel,

[bouchonne]

Have you heard their ridiculous language? No decent people would use that many useless vowels.

[wythersake]

Come now. You can hardly call a vowel useless.

[ every bit of orlesian is 100% necessary for talking shit ]