crystal malfunction memevent

[faderifting]

crystals get fucked
(a meme slash tiny game event)

The Inquisition’s sending crystals are typically very reliable and not susceptible to accidental transmissions or misdelivered messages. They’re also fairly limited in function and security.

The latter is something that researchers in Skyhold are working to address, when they have the time. Unfortunately, one of them—maybe a little angry about having to work alone on First Day, maybe day drinking while she does so—has now made some significant errors while meddling with proposed improvements. And from the beginning of the day on Wintermarch 1, the sending crystals will start behaving badly:

Messages might transmit to the wrong person.

Messages might transmit to the right person but also a few additional unintended people.

Messages might transmit to everyone at once.

Pieces of old conversations from any point in the last year or so might leak, either to individuals or to everyone. Delayed messages of that sort will sound distant, like they’re coming from the end of a long tunnel.

Attempts to transition from a public to a private conversation will sometimes fail.

Crystals may start transmitting to people or to everyone at random, without being touched.

All of this could occur at any time—sometimes at the beginning of a conversation, sometimes midway through it, sometimes when someone isn’t using the crystal at all.

The problems will start out sporadic enough to seem insignificant or like probable user errors, but grow increasingly common as the day wears on, until the issue is identified and corrected at Skyhold in the early hours of Wintermarch 2 and the tipsy researcher disciplined accordingly.

This meme/event is game canon. You can decide among yourselves if there’s something you would rather try out for fun with no consequences and/or retcon after the fact, as always, but unless otherwise established by players, this is really happening. Threads done in this post can count toward activity rewards.

Additionally, this specific post is for open top-levels that anyone can tag and threadjack. Think TFLN in style/format, missing pants optional. Don’t post closed or locked conversations here. If you want to do specific misfires with specific people, you can use inboxes. You can also post to the rookery comm if you want to use the event for a more visible gamewide open post.

Comments

[bouchonne]

[ Because it would be admitting some measure of wrongdoing when the only thing I've done wrong is having the audacity to wake up on a day after Lexie's cursed Vint showed his true colors. And getting involved with the blasted woman to begin with. She's the one who - ]

Why, because I am a Rutyer, son of the Banns of Dragonmount. I can trace my lineage back to the Alamarri tribes who marched beside Andraste. You, dear fellow, if I do not mistake your voice, are a mage. And an elf. Only a peer can demand satisfaction.

[faithlikeaseed]

Ah, [mildly,] and truly it would be a shame to in any way besmirch the honor of so august a family. A stain on my own honor, even.

[Especially for what was mostly a joke to cheer someone up.]

I'll settle for an unkind thought in your direction that you couldn't predict the crystals malfunctioning today, of all days.

[bouchonne]

[ What a disappointing reaction. ]

You assume.

[faithlikeaseed]

[The art of not letting them get to you.]

Oho. Did you have some foreknowledge, messere? Or even cause the problem?

[bouchonne]

Well, the theoretical problem was the message being sent to everyone. Why, my fellow, do you assume I did not wish for it to be sent to everyone?

[faithlikeaseed]

[He laughs at that.]

You do have me there; I don’t know you didn’t.

In which case I am now substantially more alarmed than I was, [doesn’t sound it yet] and reconsidering leaving things at an unkind thought.

[bouchonne]

[ Quite pleasantly: ]

Please don't. It would please me greatly to have your hatred.

[faithlikeaseed]

And why is that?

You might need to work much harder than you’d like to earn it.

[bouchonne]

Why? Are you a Tranquil?

[faithlikeaseed]

No; were I, I’d tell you straight it was impossible.

Is the idea so strange?

[bouchonne]

Of Tranquils? Hardly. It seems like a very logical solution.

[faithlikeaseed]

[This is going to make certain future conversations with the Inquisition interesting,

but not surprising.

Muttered,] You and too many others--

[--louder,]

That you're not worth hating as you are.

[bouchonne]

I and too many others? What?

[faithlikeaseed]

You've got a particular genius for avoiding a question you led.

[bouchonne]

I'm merely following up on your thread of conversation. I and others what?

[faithlikeaseed]

There's more than one to follow, m'ssere--thread, that is.

Find Tranquility a logical solution--though in all fairness I haven't any idea if you're the sort who would offer it for every problem.

[bouchonne]

Oh, I think it has many purposes. You know - a cure for demonic possession, for rebelliousness, mouthiness - if they won't do their chores -

[faithlikeaseed]

Don't.

[He's dimly aware he's having his buttons pushed but that doesn't mean you avoid the issue if someone brings it up.]

Don't continue, messere. It's a matter you're in no position to comment on intelligibly.

[like that's ever kept someone from having opinions.]

[bouchonne]

[ Hah. Got him. ]

Why, of course I am. Magic ought to serve man, oughtn't it? So, naturally, my thoughts ought to be worth more than yours. Honestly, you're getting a little mouthy there, dear heart.

[altusimperius]

[languidly, and perhaps unexpectedly:]

oh, get stuffed, Rutyer.

[bouchonne]

[ Cheerily: ]

Are you offering, dear fellow? I did say that magic should serve man, not that magic should service man.

[elegiaque]

Excuse me.

[bouchonne]

Yes, Gwenaelle?

[elegiaque]

Fuck you, Rutyer.

[bouchonne]

What? Do we love mages now?