crystal malfunction memevent

[faderifting]

crystals get fucked
(a meme slash tiny game event)

The Inquisition’s sending crystals are typically very reliable and not susceptible to accidental transmissions or misdelivered messages. They’re also fairly limited in function and security.

The latter is something that researchers in Skyhold are working to address, when they have the time. Unfortunately, one of them—maybe a little angry about having to work alone on First Day, maybe day drinking while she does so—has now made some significant errors while meddling with proposed improvements. And from the beginning of the day on Wintermarch 1, the sending crystals will start behaving badly:

Messages might transmit to the wrong person.

Messages might transmit to the right person but also a few additional unintended people.

Messages might transmit to everyone at once.

Pieces of old conversations from any point in the last year or so might leak, either to individuals or to everyone. Delayed messages of that sort will sound distant, like they’re coming from the end of a long tunnel.

Attempts to transition from a public to a private conversation will sometimes fail.

Crystals may start transmitting to people or to everyone at random, without being touched.

All of this could occur at any time—sometimes at the beginning of a conversation, sometimes midway through it, sometimes when someone isn’t using the crystal at all.

The problems will start out sporadic enough to seem insignificant or like probable user errors, but grow increasingly common as the day wears on, until the issue is identified and corrected at Skyhold in the early hours of Wintermarch 2 and the tipsy researcher disciplined accordingly.

This meme/event is game canon. You can decide among yourselves if there’s something you would rather try out for fun with no consequences and/or retcon after the fact, as always, but unless otherwise established by players, this is really happening. Threads done in this post can count toward activity rewards.

Additionally, this specific post is for open top-levels that anyone can tag and threadjack. Think TFLN in style/format, missing pants optional. Don’t post closed or locked conversations here. If you want to do specific misfires with specific people, you can use inboxes. You can also post to the rookery comm if you want to use the event for a more visible gamewide open post.

Comments

[rathercommon]

What?

[ What a weird question. ]

No. I don't worship anything, just - I mean - You eat cows, don't you, and chickens, and pigs. Fish. Not bears. Bears are zoo animals.

[assistente]

Oh. Yes. Of course. Er, to the-- well, you--

[Sifting back through this to find the original thread--]

Bears are... might be kept in a menagerie, or trained to perform, as-- I mean, all beasts. Might be a source of food. And it is, you know, economic. In a way. To use the, um. To render the fat. And make use of it. Not--not only for cooking, and baking, of course, but for, a variety, of uses.

[rathercommon]

[ UH - ]

Please tell me you're not talking about sex.

[assistente]

[Emphatic:]

In other varieties. Of uses.

[rathercommon]

All right. Like what?

[assistente]

A lubricant, [and before there's any chance, he clarifies,] for gears. Softening leather goods. Waterproofing leather. Oiling knives. Lamp fuel. An insect repellent.

And cooking, of course. Baking.

[rathercommon]

[ She's momentarily diverted from disgust due to astonishment. ] Wait - seriously? It can do all that?

[assistente]

Of course it can. That's why I spoke to its versatility. And why it is preferred. That, and its superiority. Many fats might have the ability to achieve the same, but none to its level.

[rathercommon]

It seems like it ought to attract insects.

[assistente]

Well. It doesn't. [So. That answers that. But in case it doesn't, Salvio thinks to add:] And it is rendered.