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allthisshitisweird2016-01-01 03:35 pm
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Test Drive Meme!
New Year...

...Same Old Hinterlands
Maybe the Inquisition sent you, maybe you came seeking the Inquisition. Maybe you fell out of a rift into this world last week and are still just trying to find your feet. However it happened, the first days of the new year find you in the Hinterlands. Tucked between Ferelden's massive Lake Calenhad and the icy Frostback Mountains, the Hinterlands are a hilly region covered in patchy forests and small farms trying to eke out a living between the boulders. Though somewhat remote, the area is rich with game and minerals and home to Redcliffe, a bustling town on a busy trade route.
Lately the Hinterlands have also been full of mages and templars and rifts, all threatening to turn once-peaceful countryside into a dangerous warzone. The Inquisition has set up several camps and sent personnel to try to restore order to the region, unwilling to let it slip into chaos. There's a lot to be done, some of it straightforward killing bad things, some of it weird and nebulous morale-building.
STILL WITH ADDED SNOW.
1. SHOULD OLD ACQUAINTANCE BE FORGOT
You have turned the wrong corner in the snow, forded the wrong stream in the snow, crested the wrong hill in the snow, entered the wrong cave in the snow. Maybe you are far from camp, in the snow. Maybe you are in camp, which is also snowy. Whatever has happened, wherever you are: you are being chased through the snow by bears. Did you throw a snowball at the bears? Are they huge and snow-dusted? Babies burrowing through the snow drifts and coming for your ankles? Fade-touched in addition to snow-touched? Controlled by cold mages who are hiding in the snow? Popping up out of the snow like a game of whack-a-mole? What are they chasing you away from in all of this snow? What are they chasing you into, other than more snow? What warm things do you plan to make out of their hide if you kill them in the snow? What do you think they'll craft out of your hide if they kill you in the snow? P.S. It's still snowy.
2. WE TWO HAVE RUN ABOUT THE SLOPES
Farmers have been forced to abandon their homes after a series of vicious attacks by wolves. Packs of them are roaming the foothills and stalking paddocks and even roads seemingly without the usual wariness of humans. Inquisition agents and local volunteers guard travelers through the affected region, hunt the wolves through snowy woods, and track them back to their cavernous lair in the edge of a canyon. Only eliminating the demons that lurk there will free the wolves from their influence and allow the area to return to normal.
3. AND PICKED THE DAISIES FINE
Winter snows freeze and bury the ground, but the need for healing herbs is as great as ever. Stockpiles are thin after the chaos of the last year, and Corporal Vale is desperate enough to send people out to search caves and hollows and cliffsides and beneath overhangs for any plants still clinging to life. The weather is brutal, the search tedious, the footing often treacherous, but that last patch of Crystal Grace could be a key find. Getting it requires clambering up a slippery hillside and stretching up to a ledge and hoping whatever creature lives in that foxhole beside the plant isn't at home, but it's worth it, right?
4. WE TWO HAVE PADDLED IN THE STREAM
With many roads through the hills and ravines blocked by deep snow, some crazy, desperate few have begun traveling by river. The ice is thick and jagged along the shores but in the center the water rushes, just deep enough for a shallow draft boat lightly laden. Supplies are carried down from the passes toward Redcliffe this way, a white-knuckle process that you, for some reason, have become involved in. Maybe you were hired to help fend off the bandits that haunt the calm shallows and try to demand tolls for passage, maybe you're paying your way downstream by helping port both boat and cargo around the steep falls, the mist so thick and cold it coats whatever it touches in a thin sheen of ice. Maybe riding a glorified canoe through rocky rapids and narrow gorges just sounded like a good time. Don't rock the boat!
5. WE'LL TAKE A CUP OF KINDNESS YET
It is still snowing, and the tavern in Redcliffe is still the closest and warmest place to duck into to wait it out, and not only is it packed to the gills but it seems that the First Day celebrations have continued within long past the dawn of the second day. The Gull & Lantern is so packed with thawing visitors that it's hard to walk from one side to the other, the owner has given up on telling these Fereldans they can't bring their dogs inside, every few minutes the group in the corner breaks into a traditional First Day song that will be stuck in your head for weeks, and that lady in the corner is almost definitely someone you've tried to kill before, or vice versa. But there's a fire going, and the bartender seems to think that giving everyone half-price drinks might prevent a brawl instead of causing one, and there aren't any demons indoors, so it could be a lot worse.
6. WILDCARD
Hunt game in the snow, kill demons in the snow, dig under the snow for herbs, track bandits through the snow, deal with someone charging extortionist coat prices now that it's snowing, fall off a deceptively tall rock into the snow, get lost circling the same hill ten times trying to find a way up to the weird glowing skull on a stick you can see is up there in the snow, climb trees or abandoned towers covered in snow, rummage around in empty homes to get out of the snow, run from a dragon in the snow, cry over how cute that fennec fox you just shot in the snow was, set up camp and chat around the fire because it's snowy and cold, knock yourself out (figuratively, or even literally if that's more your speed)-- the Hinterlands are yourFrostback Mountainoyster, topped with snow.
no subject
Right.
"Ancient Avvar tradition," Hiccup replied in a tone that was a dry as he wanted to be right then. Still, the guy had made a path, and Hiccup took the chance to dart toward the hearth the moment it was available.
There was a small pile of Mabari between him and the actual fireplace but, hey, it wasn't like he was unaccustomed to dealing with large animals blocking the fire. Without pause to consider how terrible an idea it might've been, he stripped off his vest and boots and tossed them against the stones just shy of the wood. They sizzled dramatically but they were way too wet (and frozen) to catch on fire any time soon.
Nothing short of a dragon could manage that.
Now that his feet were on warm stone (not that he could feel them just yet) and he wasn't actually wrapped in freezing sheepskin, he looked back at the mage who'd given him a hand.
"Uh, thanks--boating incident...and by incident I mean it sank."
no subject
He had little trouble making his way through the crowd and finding his own seat by the fire, tilting his head as he took in the youth a bit more. He had said he was... Avvar? This far north? At the mention of a boat sinking, Sam raises a brow. "Sounds like you have all the luck. Are you on your own?"
no subject
"Oh, that's me, Hiccup The Lucky," he answered, bitterly, and did a mock bow toward the fire. One of the logs popped and a sparkling orange cinder hit him in the cheek. It hissed as it was put out, long before he could be burned, but he still scowled on principle.
"And yes, but it's not that strange, not really-really," Hiccup continued and pointedly didn't look him in the eye. "Highlanders all travel, all the time. We do it to say hi to the sister clans, to avoid being messily killed and disappointing our fathers, to find new flowers or lowland villages to pillage, you know, Avvar stuff. It's fine."
no subject
"Ah huh, Avvar stuff. So you came this far north because you were...? Just so you know three of those reasons make sense, and I really do hope you don't say to pillage because this will make this whole thing a whole lot more 'interesting' to deal with."
Sam still has a brow raised, continuing to watch Hiccup, not at all put off by the dry humor and sarcasm. It was amusing to a point, and kind of reminded him of a few of the boys back at Skyhold.
"So your name is Hiccup The Lucky?"
no subject
"No. I mean, I wish, but no," Hiccup admitted. "My name is Hiccup Stoicson and I'm probably the least lucky person you'll ever meet."
Okay, from a narrative standpoint, that was a bit overblown, but not as much as one might expect.
"I'm also terrible at pillaging, for the record," he muttered and glanced back at the mage beside him. "I mostly just hammer things, repair things, sharpen things, stay inside, and occasionally burn down a house or collapse a walkway or drop a siege lantern on a boat because--things just have a way of--"
He paused and sat up, his brow drawn and tried to think of the word. He cast a frustrated look at the pile of dogs and then made a circular motion with his hands, trying to illustrate his point. It was a pretty good motion...if his point was about flailing for help (which it wasn't).
"You Lowlanders have snow, I fell in enough of it on the way here to know you have snow. So, you know how when there's a lot of snow piled up, any tiny, little thing can just...set everything off and suddenly it's all rolling toward you and then that sets off another one, and another? Yeah, that's basically how everything works for me."
no subject
At least he wasn't good at pillaging yeah?
"Well I can't say I was that bad, but you sound a lot similar to how I was at around your age. My father was teaching me how to be a blacksmith and one day I set half the forge on fire because I thought I could light it faster with magic." He smiles lightly and gives a bit of a shrug. He's gotta better.
no subject
"Did it work?"
Not that he could do it, given his complete lack of magical skills, or that he would try anything as risky as throwing fire around in a workshop, but that wasn't the point. A moment after he asked, he reviewed the tale he'd been told (ostensibly one he should relate to, with a vaguely cautionary leaning) and decided the answer was probably: no.
Lighting half the workshop on fire wasn't usually counted as a success...even if it was the half with the bits that were supposed to be on fire.
"I try to do things to make life easier in the Hold, or I did, but the gods truly dislike me, really, it's almost impressive. So, in an effort to appease the Lady so, you know, I don't accidentally sink us into the sea and kill everyone, or something, I traveled to the lowlands. I get here and I'm so close I can practically touch the sky-scar--then? I nearly get drowned by a Ferelden who can't row a boat."
Hiccup was ranting, he realized this, but once you got into a rant it was hard to pull out of that spiral. By the end of it, he combed his fingers through his mop of wet hair and draped himself across the back of his chair, awash in resignation.
"And bears," Hiccup said abruptly and pulled himself upright in one motion. His expression was torn between horror and confusion. "How are there so many bears in the lowlands? How? And why do they want to eat me of all things? Do I look delicious? Is that why the dragons always find me? Why did the gods make me look delicious?"
no subject
Sam isn't too knowledgeable about the Avvar, but he could follow along with it for the most part, though it seemed a bit extreme to have come all the way here to appease a god?
For the most part as Hiccup rants, Sam just lets the kid tell his tale, figuring he just needed to get it out of his system since he looked close to shouting. The bit about bears has him chuckling, since, yes, in fact there were a lot of bears here. He's about to comment that bears in general want to eat just about everything but stops short when the Avvar mentions dragons. "Dragons?"
no subject
After a moment of pause, he caught up to the conversation they were having, and had the good sense to look a bit sheepish.
"Uh, yeah, you know--big? Flying? Breathe fire and lightning and ice?" Hiccup said awkwardly and shuffled his hands in his lap. "Apparently they think I look delicious. Like most big, dangerous, hungry things. Not really a surprise."
no subject
What in the world had that been? He had only asked a question. Simply just the word 'dragon' with the slight change in the voice to emphasize that it had been a question.
"Ah... huh. Guess we should keep you away from any Qunari as well in that case."
It's not bears but, hey, why not?
"You know--" Hiccup started, his tone as firm and offended as he could muster, but whatever he planned on saying was lost.
He hadn't been joking when he'd said he was unlucky; the gods were not particularly fond of him and, in general, if something had the potential to go wrong in his immediate area? It wouldn't just go wrong, it would go utterly, absolutely, and catastrophically wrong.
Apparently, at the moment, that meant this:
The door to the tavern flew open with enough force that it rebounded off the wall and clanged, ineffectually, against the armored lowlander who'd just burst through it. The bang was loud enough that it startled the crowd to silence. The man in the doorway was harried, pale, and had a sword with a slightly worrying amount of blood on it, still in hand. Hiccup looked at him and, as he opened his mouth, had a terrible sinking feeling.
Gods, don't let it be more bears--
"DRAGON!"
Well a dragon is like... 30 bears right?
Sam is quick to get to his feet at seeing drawn sword and the amount of blood dripping from it. The mabari hounds as well had scampered to their feet, hackles raised, and teeth bared as they growled at some unseen thing
--DRAGON!
Well the Avvar kid hadn't been lying about having some terrible luck. "Course a group of Qunari or at least Bull would be very welcomed about now," he mutters, drawing his staff from its holster, half expecting the tavern to burst flame, or part of the roof to come crumbling down. "Can't believe it came this far from it's roost." Sam is obviously unsettled by all this, but surprisingly keeping a level head and bit of humor about him.
Now I'm just picturing it like a horrible pinata.
The crowd in the bar had gone almost silent when the bloodied warrior burst in, as you do, but it was that type of silence that preceded a terrible calamity, like when the ocean recedes before a massive wave tries to drown everything within a league of the shore. Hiccup had just enough time to stand up, give up on his shoes, and cast a worried look at the roof before the waves came crashing in and everyone panicked. The hunters, men of means, and basically anybody with a weapon were up and out of their chairs just as quickly as Hiccup and, when they started shouting and charging for the door--well, it was a miracle the didn't trample anybody (especially Hiccup) on their way out.
Well...for a given value of "out."
They mostly got stopped up at the entrance, which wasn't terribly surprising what with all of them trying to charge through the door and summon their very large and very eager hounds at the same time.
Why anybody would bring a dog to fight a dragon, Hiccup had no idea, but Lowlanders were strange. He could have asked but, right then, he was more concerned with more immediate topics. Namely: not being inside the extremely flammable building filled with conveniently gathered dragon-food. He shot Sam a fairly urgent look, glanced hurriedly at the ceiling, looked back at the mage, motioned at the walls, and spared another look at the thatched roof. (Why was it always thatched?) The windows all exited to the front of the building, toward the big open space that was just ideal for swooping down and snatching people up, and there was no way they were getting out through the front door.
"Is there another way out of here?"
no subject
"Well, paint me green and call me a cucumber, it really is a dragon. I never heard of a dragon hauling its big scaley ass to Redcliffe before."
She shut the window, and turned to look at two people. One was that poor fellow she'd managed to tip over in the boat. Well, she'd have to help him out at least, the poor lad was as skinny as a twig. The dragon wouldn't even have to use a breath weapon, just snort at him a little and he'd go sailing away.
"Hey, pup! If you wanna get out of here, there's a servant's entrance in the back we can borrow." She turned to Sam, giving him a cheerful grin. "You can come too, if you want."
no subject
The equally calm - overly calm actually - woman walking past him catches Sam's eye, his brows raising as he watched and listened. Judging by the mabari and the pet name 'pup' it seemed she was also Ferelden. Oh he could come, too? "Well I don't plan on staying here."
no subject
Being surrounded by people who neither respected him nor were overly eager to escape danger? That wasn't especially unusual. The thing that really got him was that they refused to hurry.
The warden checked the window, ambled over, invited the mage, and waited for a tacit agreement before she started sauntering toward the servants' entrance (he assumed). The mage was less than helpful, calm like a dragon attack just signaled that it was Tuesday (which was frustrating because Hiccup actually came from a place where a dragon attack signaled it was Tuesday and he was getting a little frantic, here), and ambled after her--but not before casting a rueful glance at the cluster of people fighting for the front door.
Lowlanders were very strange.
"Yes, well, borrow away--" Hiccup said loudly, ushering them forward with some pointed and, perhaps a bit overblown, waving of his arms. "We should get outside, that would be fantastic. It's weird, I know, but I'm allergic to burning to death."
The Warden led them into what Hiccup could only assume was the kitchen and, as if on cue, a heavy resounding boom came up through the floor. The back wall shook so hard Hiccup was fairly certain it was going to fall down--it held, but some of the roof did crash in behind them. Before he could even look up (habit), the cry of a Ferelden Frostback pealed through the air.
"It just had to be the fire breathing kind, didn't it?" Hiccup asked, of any god who was listening, and snatched up the nearest weaponish item. Unfortunately for him, it was a cast-iron pan, but he didn't put it back. It felt better to weild something, after all.
no subject
She hustles a little bit more when the roof gets around to crashing, and tenses when the dragon cries out. Finally entering the fresh air, she moved slowly, turning to look around the corner. One hand drew up to rest on the large sword that was hilted to her back, frowning up at the sky.
"You know what's worse than fire? The lightning ones. I mean, I'm usually in metal armor, with a big metal stick, you see where I'm going?" She tilted her head, carefully eyeing the dragon and watching its movements. It was tempting to get out there and run right at the dragon, challenge it with a scream and fight like a hero. But a true hero wasn't selfish, and these two helpless civilians needed her.
At that thought, she eyes the pan with some amusement, but just nods approvingly. Having a weapon made you feel that much more in control. Having control meant not being as afraid.
"We have a few options, here. We can sneak along the back of the houses, and have you guys hide in the Chantry. It's also wood, but it's a lot of stone, too. Built solid. And maybe the Maker will give you extra protection. We could also try to sneak out of Redcliffe entirely, but we'll have to move out from the back of these houses and be in the dragon's sight line for a bit."
"Alternatively," And she grinned, cocking an eyebrow. "We can make a run for the water. Right through the dragon's path, but he couldn't burn you down if you're hanging out in the water."
no subject
Hiccup on the other hand... seemed to like to panic and talk. Not that it bothered him in the least, but certainly didn't help if you were trying to get passed something. Still it was a bit amusing that he figured a pan was going to be helpful - maybe it would since frying pans were meant to get hot.
"Easy there, Hiccup. Remember to breath." Last thing they needed was the kid having a panic attack on them. With a bit of a sigh, Sam brings his staff up then slams the end of it to the ground, a faint blue ring forming around the three of them for a moment then phasing out. "That should help. I still wouldn't suggest getting hit directly by anything though." The barriers wouldn't last long, but they would hold for a bit to make their next move.
Looking to the woman, Sam gives a small frown at the mention of hiding in a Chantry building - seriously? Even if he was wearing the Inquisition he didn't think he'd get the best of looks walking into there. "As much as I want to vote for the water idea, it's going to be hard to swim with a dragon trying to claw you out of the water. I'd vote for sneaking out. If we're quite and play it smart it might not see us."