faderifting: (Default)
Fade Rift Mods ([personal profile] faderifting) wrote in [community profile] allthisshitisweird2023-05-02 05:40 pm
Entry tags:

Test Drive!

TEST DRIVE MEME

While in some alternate, tidier timeline, the War against the Elder One ended years ago, you're not in that timeline. It's 9:49, and the war continues. An enemy force partially occupies Orlais and has decimated several Marcher Cities, while the Chantry, aided by the Inquisition, has marshaled Orlais and the faithful of Southern Thedas into a new Exalted March against the army of demon-bound Wardens, Red Templars, Venatori loyalists, and darkspawn Corypheus has amassed. Rifts are still scattered across the continent, periodically spitting out strangers from strange worlds with green-glowing anchors embedded in their hands. There's no Herald of Andraste to save Thedas. Someone else is going to have to do it.

You're part of (or allied with, recently hired by, imprisoned by, etc.) an organization, dubbed Riftwatch, that split off from the Inquisition several years ago. Riftwatch consists of these otherworldly new arrivals, rebels and Wardens, and other people who want to prevent the apocalypse without necessarily marching under the Chantry's banner to do it. Their headquarters is an island fortress called the Gallows—formerly a Circle of Magi, more formerly a prison for slaves, but its new occupants have done a good job removing the more grotesque reminders of that past and making the place livable. Their goal is to do what the Chantry can't or won't do, to go more directly after Corypheus and the dark magic he employs, and to keep the Veil from coming apart entirely.

Maybe you're here because you want to help. Maybe you need the money (though there isn't much of it). Maybe you acquired an anchor and sticking around is the only way to prevent your hand from killing you. Maybe you've been sent by the Chantry or some other entity to keep an eye on everyone—they're rumored to be a lot of weirdos and troublemakers. Or maybe you're a new rifter and just going where the nice people with swords tell you that you need to go.

NOTE: This is a static test drive! We post them once per year or so and continue to use them for a long time, so you're never late. Current players are encouraged to track new top-level comments.


I. THE FREE MARCHES: Hasmal, Tantervale, and most recently Starkhaven have all fallen to the Tevinter incursion, leaving Kirkwall the largest city-state in the Free Marches to remain unoccupied. For Riftwatch, that means the war is closer to home than ever, and traveling anywhere north of the mountains runs the risk of running into enemy scouting parties. Perhaps you've been sent out to find these scouts before they find the unwary, or perhaps you're just trying to pass through unnoticed to Antiva or Rivain when you run into trouble. Or maybe you're more in the thick of it: joining the Free Marches armies in harassing the occupying army as best they can from outside the city, or slipping your way into one of them to gather intelligence or meet with an ally.

II. THE WAKING SEA: When Riftwatch isn't traveling by griffon or magic mirror, it frequently travels by sea, courtesy of a small assortment of allied pirate ships. So welcome aboard. The sea is choppy and frequently violent—violent storms, violent enemy ships, or both at once—and the crew may not have much patience for incompetence, so either make yourself useful above or try not to get sick below.

III. KIRKWALL: Even when enormous evil darkspawn are trying to take over the known world and you and your colleagues might be the only ones who can truly stop him, you can't work all the time. And when you aren't working, Kirkwall is there for you with its dingy Lowtown taverns, its flashy Hightown establishments, its market stalls and street musicians and cellars hosting gamblers. (Or maybe you can work all the time, and you're in the city to do some official shopping, try to spy on a suspicious character, or show a potential financial backer a good time.)

IV. SEND A MESSAGE: Each member of Riftwatch is assigned a blue crystal, small enough to wear around the neck, that can transmit voice messages, as well as an enchanted book tied to that crystal that can be used to exchange written messages. They're secure enough to discuss the war, if you'd like to get down to business, but loosely controlled enough to ask a question or play a game with only a few rolled eyes from people who hate fun.

V. WILDCARD: From the Gallows' library to the pirate islands off the coast, from Hightown's high-priced market stalls to the bloody frontlines of the war, Thedas is yours to explore.

allthatgleamsisgold: (disgruntled)

[personal profile] allthatgleamsisgold 2024-03-26 02:03 am (UTC)(link)
Have you any other advice? You speak with a cadence that suggests personal expertise in the matter.

Do enlighten me. What would you ask if you were stranded in a strange world, in a body that is not your own, if not how to return home?

The sooner you unburden me of my ignorance, the fewer precious resources will go to waste.
elegiaque: (152)

[personal profile] elegiaque 2024-03-26 02:07 am (UTC)(link)
You're free to jerk yourself off about how hard done by you are for as long as you want, ( doesn't actually sound hostile, although whether or not that means jackshit to the person listening to her remains to be seen; just dry, matter of fact. ) What I did, when I believed I was in a situation equivalent, was what I expect everyone here to do: adapt.

( like, skill issue, bro. )

What you remember, you're never going to see again. Wallow in that or don't. Don't get anyone else killed.
allthatgleamsisgold: (disgruntled)

[personal profile] allthatgleamsisgold 2024-03-26 02:32 am (UTC)(link)
[He takes her at her tone, probably because he has no idea what it means to jerk oneself off.]

Presumptuous. On all counts.
elegiaque: (005)

[personal profile] elegiaque 2024-03-26 02:35 am (UTC)(link)
But, ( because yes, fair assessment, ) I know what I'm talking about, and you haven't actually asked a relevant or useful question.

( though he's free to. )

You won't stop being ignorant by running yourself into walls out of bloody-minded certainty that you're going to be the first dickhead to go through it. You're free to exhaust that option first, of course.
Edited 2024-03-26 02:35 (UTC)
allthatgleamsisgold: (profile)

[personal profile] allthatgleamsisgold 2024-03-26 02:47 am (UTC)(link)
Do you? You have demonstrated nothing but a penchant for long-winded lecturing. I would have remained in Kesho if I'd any taste for such things.

Perhaps then, you may find this question useful; what is a dickhead?
elegiaque: (052)

[personal profile] elegiaque 2024-03-26 02:56 am (UTC)(link)
( you are is an open goal that she almost regretfully allows to pass by as mostly unhelpful, and probably not completely fair. as little sympathy as she has for rifters new to thedas, it's not none, and no one's at their best dropped arse-first into someone else's war to be told everything has changed for you forever, and all you can do is get on with it.

some of them are very annoying. some of them remain very annoying. but it's rare they start out top of their game.
)

A very versatile insult of varying degrees of heat, depending on its use. I'm being very casual with it, presently.

( since he asked. )

Literally, "dick" as in a man's tackle, "head" as in, you have dick for brains, except if I were actually suggesting you think with your dick then that wouldn't be the word I would use. It's colloquial trade and relatively mild.

( he's right, she can really go for a while given a tangent. mercifully, this one ends there— )

My anchor-shard has seen me shackled to the Inquisition and subsequently Riftwatch for the better part of a decade. My ex-husband came to this world the same way you did, and served for a time as the Provost of Research. I was here for the illness that targeted rifters and allowed more detailed observations on your nature and interaction with Thedas. I'm not talking to hear the sound of my own voice, charming as it may be,

( orlesian accent, the lower end of feminine, a high quarter princess still after all these years in the muck and her refusal to stop treating the word 'cunt' as punctuation, )

but because I am specifically and thoroughly educated in your situation as it pertains to ours.
allthatgleamsisgold: (inquiring minds)

[personal profile] allthatgleamsisgold 2024-03-26 03:38 am (UTC)(link)
So it's some kind of fishing metaphor. Tackle for brains. I see.

[He really has no idea. This is what happens when you don't properly socialize your pets.]

Is aught of this written down somewhere? If only to spare your voice.
elegiaque: (010)

[personal profile] elegiaque 2024-03-26 03:41 am (UTC)(link)
( you know what, she's going to let that one stand. this may mean she has to explain to someone why the newest rifter has some weird ideas about fish,

but to be fair, that sounds hilarious.
)

You can cross-reference the reporting in the library and the Research records, yes.

The short answer to everything you asked originally is just "no". There are longer, more interesting answers to what that means for you now.

( and she's much less critical when it sounds like he might actually make the effort to go get those. )