Fade Rift Mods (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
faderifting) wrote in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
allthisshitisweird2016-04-16 01:02 pm
faderifting) wrote in allthisshitisweird2016-04-16 01:02 pm
Entry tags:
TEST DRIVE MEME!
WHAT A GLOOORIOUS FEELING
How’s the weather, Inquisition? Terrible. Heavy rainfall pelts the plains and the mountains, four straight days of it! Dark clouds block out the sun. It may begin to feel like there’s no end to the storms in sight. When darkness falls, cold evening temperatures turn that rain frigid. Your boots, your socks, they’re soaked through. Everyone smells like wet wool.
And as if all that weren’t enough: the increased rainfall loosens patches of mud and shale, causing mudslides.
1. We’re not in Orzammar anymore…
2. Are you mad? That’s twelve year old scotch!
3. I gotta go, Julia, we got bears.
4. We got 12 skins of water, 56 ales, two vodkas, four whiskeys, six bottles of wine, tequila, hazelnut paste, cheese, bread, eggs, bananas, apples, bacon, steaks, pancakes, dry grain, milk, sweet tomato sauce, half a pudding, half-ounce Sour Wine, 3 1/2 grams Grand Inquisitor Kush, one ounce of 'shrooms, 15 ecstasy potions, a smutty woodcut, a bat…
5. Lots of fish… and lots of weather.
WE'RE STILL IN THE HINTERLANDS
How’s the weather, Inquisition? Terrible. Heavy rainfall pelts the plains and the mountains, four straight days of it! Dark clouds block out the sun. It may begin to feel like there’s no end to the storms in sight. When darkness falls, cold evening temperatures turn that rain frigid. Your boots, your socks, they’re soaked through. Everyone smells like wet wool.
And as if all that weren’t enough: the increased rainfall loosens patches of mud and shale, causing mudslides.
1. We’re not in Orzammar anymore…
A recent group of dwarven traders bearing fine crafts and goods were inbound for Skyhold, ready to flood the markets with their wares. Instead, they got flooded out.
Yes, word has reached the Inquisition that the traders have been unfortunately detained by the weather and they are now in need of a rescue. Dare you venture out into the lashing rain and sliding mud to rescue the traders?
If you do so dare, you’ll find some of the traders to be exceedingly grateful for your efforts, ready to bestow handsome rewards on you, O Brave Soul -- just as soon as you’ve escorted them safely back to Skyhold. Or you might find a cluster of more disagreeable traders, grumpy at the water in their boots and the loss of their goods. Some of those goods might still be rescuable, if you want to wade out into a mud field to retrieve a fallen chest, or tug an errant terrified donkey back onto what’s passing for dry road these days.
As you carry these treasures back to their masters, or back to Skyhold, you might consider helping yourself to a sampling of the wares on your way back. After all, your reward might not be adequate, and you are risking your life for these ungrateful sons of mothers. Just don’t get caught. These traders don’t look kindly on thieves, and frayed tempers snap easily.
Feel free to get stuck on your way to the rescue, too. Weather out the storm with a fellow do-gooder. These days, the rescuers might need rescuing just as much.
2. Are you mad? That’s twelve year old scotch!
In Skyhold and the surrounding tent towns, what with the confusion and the panic and the scramble for high ground, market stalls are left unattended and wares are ripe for the taking. For some, temptation proves to be too much. Where there’s disaster, there’s often looting! A few vendors defend their own wares, and those that can’t make desperate entreaties for assistance. Bandits! Thieves!
Are you a brave and hale friend to the Inquisition and to good honest trade, ready to defend the wares of the waterlogged merchants? Or maybe your sticky fingers spot a tempting treasure too great to ignore. If they didn’t want it stolen, they should have taken it with them! Watch out for that Qunari metalsmith with the mean right hook. He’s not to be trifled with, and his blow will leave you toothless in the mud.
3. I gotta go, Julia, we got bears.
The rainfall has disturbed more than the mud. Bears, resting in their caves, have found their caves to be too damp for their liking, and they’ve taken to the open air to vent their spleens. Some people say that the bears are as frightened as you are, but when you’re faced with a six hundred pound beast with huge pointy teeth, their innocence is a little harder to keep in perspective.
The tents surrounding greater Skyhold are especially worried by rogue bears. Make a stand against them, or else help evacuate a threatened campsite. Mudwrestling a bear is a great way to impress the ladies, or the gentlemen… but no one will blame you for beating a hasty retreat.
4. We got 12 skins of water, 56 ales, two vodkas, four whiskeys, six bottles of wine, tequila, hazelnut paste, cheese, bread, eggs, bananas, apples, bacon, steaks, pancakes, dry grain, milk, sweet tomato sauce, half a pudding, half-ounce Sour Wine, 3 1/2 grams Grand Inquisitor Kush, one ounce of 'shrooms, 15 ecstasy potions, a smutty woodcut, a bat…
TIME TO HUNKER DOWN. In the tavern, the barkeep is handing out free spiced wine to anyone who takes refuge behind her door. The din of conversation and lutesong makes a fine lullabye for the careworn traveler, and you might find yourself inadvertently dropping off to sleep. Or maybe someone’s fallen asleep on you.
Who can blame the slumberers, finally safe and warm and dry? In the tavern, the fires have been built up to ward off the chill and the damp, but relaxation is a little more difficult these days. You really have to elbow your way in there to get close to that warmth. Once you get close enough, you’ll find that the hearths are taken up with dozens and dozens of wet socks and wetter boots, steaming gently as they dry. Be disgusted if you want, or else peel off your own and go barefoot while you wait.
Hey! What’s going on over there? Someone’s taking one of your socks! Stop, thief!
If you can’t make it to the tavern, you might find yourself holed up somewhere a little more unlikely. The limited space within Skyhold means there aren’t a lot of free rooms. That door you shoulder open in desperation might have an owner already. Intrusions aren’t always unwelcome, but beware of what -- or who! -- you might find.
5. Lots of fish… and lots of weather.
WILDCARD. Whatever you do, just remember: there’s a lot of rain, you’re very wet, and if you’re feeling amorous, keep in mind that everyone smells like wet wool. We cannot stress this enough.
Cordelia Chase | Buffy the Vampire Slayer & Angel | #4
The word was replaying in her head, like she'd set a song to auto-repeat. The weather was gross, the smell was gross, even she felt gross. She missed L.A. desperately. It wasn't just her friends and her clothes (although last season's Burberry trench that hung in her closet would have been mighty handy right now), but it was heart-wrenching to think of all that sun and beach and palm tree just going to waste. If she ever got out of here--no, when she got out of here--she vowed to herself that she would never let a single day of sunshine go by unappreciated.
At least she could comfort herself with spiced wine, which was admittedly pretty tasty, in a sort of Renaissance Festival way. With the drink in her hand, Cordy settled herself in a window seat to wring out her hair and look out at the gloomy environment.
"I'm not saying this is catastrophe on a Noah's Ark level," she said to no one in particular as she peered out at the rain, "But if I start to see any nugs or druffalo go marching two-by-two in the direction of a boat, I'm buying a ticket."
even tho I can't app him and have no icons, this needed to happen
He'd been standing not far from the window when she'd sat down, his own wine glass hanging from his hand, alternating between gazing sideways out at the rain and surveying the room for the next distraction. The reference to Noah's Ark was like a beacon, a neon sign flaring Hello, fellow Earthling — never mind the mark on her hand that matched his own — and while she wasn't exactly the type of distraction he'd been hoping for, he'd take it for now.
"Despite having done all I can to expunge years of Bible Study from my mind, I'm pretty sure that would lead to repopulating Thedas with their version of Noah and his family." He took a thoughtful sip of wine. "Personally, I'd stay down here and perish with the sinners."
Re: even tho I can't app him and have no icons, this needed to happen
She turned her head to look at the angular young man and gave him a brief once-over (her mental checklist gave a yes to brunette and male columns but a no to beefcakey). “That totally depends on who we’re casting as Noah,” she chirped. “I mean, no, I’m not eager to hike up my skirts and wade through puddles with Charlton Heston or anything, but this is 2002, who says Noah has to be old and scraggly? I can hope for a daring casting that rattles the Bible Belt from top to bottom.”
A thoughtful tap to her lower lip. “I wouldn’t kick Jude Law off the ark for eating crackers, but that’s a little too obvious. Taye Diggs, maybe? Noah can use the flood to get his groove back?”
Already, she was perking up. Celebrity chat gave her endorphins a boost the same as jazzercise did for her mother, and honestly, all the mage drama around here was way less exciting than any single edition of USA Today.
no subject
"It's a role that needs gravitas," he mused, trying to come up with his own suggestion. Idris Elba? Maybe, but he was after her time. "Someone who can sport a well-trimmed beard." He stroked his own clean-shaven face. Hmm.
"Liam Neeson?" Older, maybe, but not fugly. It was a fine line to walk.
no subject
Contemptuous eyes scanned the tavern before settling back on her new personal Access Hollywood.
“Then again, people in those movies always look like they have running water and hairspray and toothpaste.” She wrinkled her nose at the unpleasant mildewy smell that permeated the room. “I’m thinking the truth might be a little less palatable.”
As if her time in Pylea hadn’t been convincing enough? This place made her pretty sure Earth, with deodorant and volumizing shampoo was exactly where she belonged.
no subject
"Fortunately, we can say better things about the wine," he concluded, pulling out the chair across from her and settling in. He offered her a little toast, inviting her to clink her glass with his own.
"Eliot Waugh." As long as they were doing full names.