TEST DRIVE MEME!

[faderifting]

WHAT A GLOOORIOUS FEELING

WE'RE STILL IN THE HINTERLANDS

How’s the weather, Inquisition? Terrible. Heavy rainfall pelts the plains and the mountains, four straight days of it! Dark clouds block out the sun. It may begin to feel like there’s no end to the storms in sight. When darkness falls, cold evening temperatures turn that rain frigid. Your boots, your socks, they’re soaked through. Everyone smells like wet wool.

And as if all that weren’t enough: the increased rainfall loosens patches of mud and shale, causing mudslides.

---

1. We’re not in Orzammar anymore…

A recent group of dwarven traders bearing fine crafts and goods were inbound for Skyhold, ready to flood the markets with their wares. Instead, they got flooded out.

Yes, word has reached the Inquisition that the traders have been unfortunately detained by the weather and they are now in need of a rescue. Dare you venture out into the lashing rain and sliding mud to rescue the traders?

If you do so dare, you’ll find some of the traders to be exceedingly grateful for your efforts, ready to bestow handsome rewards on you, O Brave Soul -- just as soon as you’ve escorted them safely back to Skyhold. Or you might find a cluster of more disagreeable traders, grumpy at the water in their boots and the loss of their goods. Some of those goods might still be rescuable, if you want to wade out into a mud field to retrieve a fallen chest, or tug an errant terrified donkey back onto what’s passing for dry road these days.

As you carry these treasures back to their masters, or back to Skyhold, you might consider helping yourself to a sampling of the wares on your way back. After all, your reward might not be adequate, and you are risking your life for these ungrateful sons of mothers. Just don’t get caught. These traders don’t look kindly on thieves, and frayed tempers snap easily.

Feel free to get stuck on your way to the rescue, too. Weather out the storm with a fellow do-gooder. These days, the rescuers might need rescuing just as much.

2. Are you mad? That’s twelve year old scotch!

In Skyhold and the surrounding tent towns, what with the confusion and the panic and the scramble for high ground, market stalls are left unattended and wares are ripe for the taking. For some, temptation proves to be too much. Where there’s disaster, there’s often looting! A few vendors defend their own wares, and those that can’t make desperate entreaties for assistance. Bandits! Thieves!

Are you a brave and hale friend to the Inquisition and to good honest trade, ready to defend the wares of the waterlogged merchants? Or maybe your sticky fingers spot a tempting treasure too great to ignore. If they didn’t want it stolen, they should have taken it with them! Watch out for that Qunari metalsmith with the mean right hook. He’s not to be trifled with, and his blow will leave you toothless in the mud.

3. I gotta go, Julia, we got bears.

The rainfall has disturbed more than the mud. Bears, resting in their caves, have found their caves to be too damp for their liking, and they’ve taken to the open air to vent their spleens. Some people say that the bears are as frightened as you are, but when you’re faced with a six hundred pound beast with huge pointy teeth, their innocence is a little harder to keep in perspective.

The tents surrounding greater Skyhold are especially worried by rogue bears. Make a stand against them, or else help evacuate a threatened campsite. Mudwrestling a bear is a great way to impress the ladies, or the gentlemen… but no one will blame you for beating a hasty retreat.

4. We got 12 skins of water, 56 ales, two vodkas, four whiskeys, six bottles of wine, tequila, hazelnut paste, cheese, bread, eggs, bananas, apples, bacon, steaks, pancakes, dry grain, milk, sweet tomato sauce, half a pudding, half-ounce Sour Wine, 3 1/2 grams Grand Inquisitor Kush, one ounce of 'shrooms, 15 ecstasy potions, a smutty woodcut, a bat…

TIME TO HUNKER DOWN. In the tavern, the barkeep is handing out free spiced wine to anyone who takes refuge behind her door. The din of conversation and lutesong makes a fine lullabye for the careworn traveler, and you might find yourself inadvertently dropping off to sleep. Or maybe someone’s fallen asleep on you.

Who can blame the slumberers, finally safe and warm and dry? In the tavern, the fires have been built up to ward off the chill and the damp, but relaxation is a little more difficult these days. You really have to elbow your way in there to get close to that warmth. Once you get close enough, you’ll find that the hearths are taken up with dozens and dozens of wet socks and wetter boots, steaming gently as they dry. Be disgusted if you want, or else peel off your own and go barefoot while you wait.

Hey! What’s going on over there? Someone’s taking one of your socks! Stop, thief!

If you can’t make it to the tavern, you might find yourself holed up somewhere a little more unlikely. The limited space within Skyhold means there aren’t a lot of free rooms. That door you shoulder open in desperation might have an owner already. Intrusions aren’t always unwelcome, but beware of what -- or who! -- you might find.

5. Lots of fish… and lots of weather.

WILDCARD. Whatever you do, just remember: there’s a lot of rain, you’re very wet, and if you’re feeling amorous, keep in mind that everyone smells like wet wool. We cannot stress this enough.

Comments

Andra Riveris | dashing city elf rogue

[faithstarved]

[ brackets or prose are a-ok, feel free to assume CR, mostly finished app here ]

1;

"Bloody fucking dwarves," Andra growls under her breath as she sits just inside the mouth of a cave, attempting to coax a fire to life from some damp kindling and debris found in the back of the cave after giving it a sweep to make sure it was devoid of bears. She is generally not someone sent on a rescue mission. She infiltrates, and gathers information. For some foolish reason, she volunteered for this. Maybe it has something to do with one of her companions.

Either way, she's regretting it, now.

"Have you found anything drier than this? I can't catch a light."

3;

It's not often that a rogue will face off against a bear, but Andra found herself in a position where she had no choice. It was too far to run for someone with more weapons, and there were unarmed refugees in the tents she stands with her back to.

"Maker guide my arrows," she breathes as she hastily dips her arrowheads into poison she'd prepared for much different reasons. She's hoping it'll be enough to stop the bear.

The first arrow loosed goes wide, as she doesn't take time to line it up. Swearing she grabs another and takes a moment to get the charging bear in her sights. That one hits, but it doesn't seem to do much beyond make the bear angrier.

4;

Taverns are more Andra's natural habitat, regardless of how crowded they are. She can slip between and under outstretched limbs and thick bodies easily, and find a comfortable perch just about anywhere- even someone's lap. She'll smile and flirt with just about anyone who speaks with her, especially if they keep the drinks coming so she doesn't have to go and get them herself.

The smell doesn't even bother her, although she might make fun of particularly odorous individuals. Any who reject her friendliness for being a knife-ear may find a pint cheerfully smashed over their head.

5;

[Wildcard! Soaking wet, cold elf lady, looking for warmth in whatever shape or form. take pity on her she looks so sad.]

Lena Meravas | Valo-Kas mercenary, rogue, potty mouth

[fightingdirty]

{ bear, motherfucker. do you speak it? }
Lena is on her way to Skyhold, and is warned about the increase of bears coming from their caves. And Lena does not tussle with bears for fun, so she'll just avoid that area. Simple, right?

Or not, as the sounds of cracking branches, bear roars, and a woman swearing can be heard filling the air around a smuggler's cave. Hey, it'd snuck up on her, all right? There was foilage everywhere, it looked like a rock formation; she didn't know it was a cave. And the day had started out so calm and peaceful too. Well, no that's a lie. It's wet as fuck out here, but besides that, it had been nice.

"Fucking Maker-damned, pile of tusket shit bears!" A tall, horned woman comes running out into a nearby clearing, grabs a pair of daggers off her back and whirls to face what's coming, only giving the person already standing there a short glance. "Run or fight," she instructs whoever it is she's come across.


{ 99 bottles of maraas-lok on the wall... }
Taverns are places to unwind, have a few drinks, and celebrate the latest successful job. At least, that's what they're supposed to be. But not long after Lena arrives several patrons are getting mouthy and voices are being raised over socks of all things. She sits in the back with a tankard, rolling her eyes at the display. She swears, if anyone knocks into her and spills her drink, she is knocking heads right back.

The shouting match is entertaining enough, but it's not really going anywhere. She's literally seconds away from yelling out "Fight or fuck already," when one man swings at the other and it's on. From her spot, she's safe enough, so maybe you gravitate towards her to stay out of the way, or maybe you get caught up in things and lay sprawled out at her bare feet. And if it's not either of those things, then when a good deal of ale sloshes onto her hair, you'll see a Qunari get up so fast her chair goes flying and next thing you see, her fists do too.


{ wildcard }
Lena is soaking wet, and not the good kind of soaking wet either. X-(

the outsider | dishonored | rifter

[extramural]

1;
[ The people in this strange new land seem completely unused to weather of this specific magnitude. At the very least, they seem completely unprepared -- perhaps this happens every year and no one has the foresight to try and fix the roads. It wouldn't surprise him. Human beings seem remarkably similar to those in his own world, and so far the other races he's caught glimpses of also seem to have similar thought processes.

Perhaps that is why he's in the middle of a mud puddle talking to a donkey.

Granted, the Outsider isn't standing in the puddle. He's floating above it, just as a wraith might, except he appears completely solid. Terrifyingly pale and with all black eyes, but solid. The donkey, at least, hasn't bolted in fright. ]

You are a bit different, [ the sort-of-a-man seems to be saying to the beast, one broad hand sweeping over its neck as it shivers. ] Less savage, perhaps.

2;
[ The best vantage point is often the high one, and so that is where the Outsider is -- sitting on top of one of the market stalls. This stall, specifically, sells potions and poultices, and any would-be thieves are keeping their distance from the odd Rifter sitting atop what passes for a roof over it. Whether that was his intention or not is hard to tell, as he has absolutely no problem with examining the bottles and pouches himself. Some are sniffed, others tasted, and all sorted into piles with seemingly no order save one: any items he has already examined are put back into place, just as they were.

Someone should probably stop him from tasting the lyrium. Or the poison. He also seems to be humming -- perhaps it's a somewhat familiar tune. ]

All the bears.

[gatheringstorm]

Korrin has been ready for bears since the moment she entered the Hinterlands, of course. Rift-addled bears is as much a fact of life here as mabari or the Fereldan fear of spices. Clad in the dragon hide armor of which she's so proud, staff held aloft in one hand and spirit blade hilt in the other, the Vashoth woman grins that very familiar voice draws her attention.

"Fight, of course. What do you take me for?" Casting Barrier, she then blurs forward to get the bear's attention with her glowing spirit blade. It was time to show Lena what she could do as a Knight-Enchanter through real combat, not just swinging the blade around outside the tavern.

[fightingdirty]

"Good to see you haven't gone all soft-- shit!" Lena had been planning on saying more, but then Korrin charges forward with her blade held up and she has to get her head on straight because they're fighting a bear, not watching a magic display. But fuck, if that spirit blade isn't impressive.

"If you think I'm letting you..." She doesn't bother finishing that thought, leaping forward into a somersault and coming out of it at the bear's flank, which she sinks a dagger into. The bear roars and she twists the blade before drawing it out and moving to a new position.

"So!" she begins conversationally. "Long time, no see."

Danae Ghilain

[enasalin]

[Relevant info here. Yeah, I know, she can't be apped right now. But come get your sample/extra AC reward point if you want?]

3. Well, shit. That's an especially large, especially irritated bear and one far too close to a campsite. Danae takes only a moment to stare uneasily before shifting forms, speeding ahead as a fennec. This isn't going to end well if she doesn't give people some warning.

Upon reaching the edge of the camp, purple smoke rolls outward from the fennec, coupled with what looks like purple lightning. She's an elf again, straightening and unslinging that staff from her back.

"Bear! A large one! Get ready."

4. Honestly, Danae stopped caring about the smell a long time ago. Bone-weary and just grateful to be out of the rain, it doesn't take long for the Dalish woman to start nodding off. Slumbering while surrounded by strangers -and shemlen at that- isn't one of her usual habits, but it sneaks up on her before she can even attempt to fight it.

It's also possible that she's awakened by the sensation of someone falling asleep on her, instead. Depending on how large the person is, though, the slight elf might not be able to support them. Expect a surprised gasp and some tumbling to the ground, in that case.

5. Danae is soaking wet and can either be encountered as an elf or possibly shapeshifting into/out of fairy wren form, attempting to cut down on travel time.

[gatheringstorm]

"Yeah, what took you so long? Or did you want in after the dragonslaying?" Yes, Korrin had to write and brag about that. How could she not? But she can't rest on her laurels now, not when there's an angry bear keeping them company. It swipes at Korrin, but the barrier holds and she blasts it with lightning before swinging at it with her blade anew.

for once, not the bears;

[hlif]

Usually Asher is the one starting the tavern fights. It happens; someone looks at Asher the wrong way, says the wrong thing, well it's waving a red rag at a druffalo and off he goes. Tonight he's walking into the scene of chaos, still battered and bruised from a job in Gwaren and time spent in the hold when he ducks a swing aimed his way before savagely kicking the idiot's legs out from under them, stamping down hard on a kneecap until it gives way with a sickening but satisfying crunch.

He keeps out of it for once though, he looks like shit and he's got plenty of wagons of goods tethered outside to get back to Skyhold all in one piece as he eases himself into a seat with a grunt, slamming his hand down harder on the bar harder than he needs to.

"Pint. The good stuff, don't even try to cheat me with the pisswater," he growls before he glances over, the thunderous look on his face disappearing as he begins to grin. "Shite, Lena? What're you doing in my little slice of bumfuck nowhere?"

5

[serannas]

As Ellana closes in on Skyhold, she notices another tiny bird in the air in front of her. She lets out a bird call and flaps her wings harder in the hopes of catching up, because she's pretty sure that's Danae up there and not any old bird. And who better to share the wet journey back with than a friend?

[fightingdirty]

"Oh, you know," she says, dodging the swipe of a paw and setting one dagger on her back to reach into her coat with her free hand and pull out a glass bottle.

"Poison coming!" she warns, to give Korrin time to get out of the splash zone before she flings it at the bear's feet and a cloud of toxic dust flies up into its face. She retrieves her dagger and continues the conversation.

"Figured it was time to see what the holdup was with killing this Corriff-whatever darkspawn asshole."

Mairead Ivo, surface dwarf, mischievous rogue

[dorkdorf]

1.

"Hey! A little help?" This is probably not the group of dwarves you were looking for. For one thing, there's only one Dwarf and she's perched on top of a piece of some old and crumbling building. The group of five does have a wagon, though, and it is stuck in the mud on the road. Maybe help them out? They don't look too shifty.

3.

She'd had to try.

When life has you holding a large saddle and there's a bear right there that's far more fixated on your traveling companions than you in the tree above it, what else would you do?

Her only regret, as she runs laughing, is that she didn't find a place to run to before trying this. Maybe get between the tiny dwarf and the large bear?

4.

She's cold. The adrenaline's worn off, her fellows are curled up in a mostly dry, mostly slumbering pile, and she's not invited because she's still soaking wet because she had to try riding a bear.

Mairead is flashing anyone who looks her way a hopeful smile because she'd really, really like to sit next to them and soak up some heat because there's no way she's making it through the wall of bodies near the fire.

"I'll buy the next round of free wine?" Now there's an offer you can't refuse.

5.

[ooc: wildcard me? She's headed for Skyhold with her other rogues, friendly enough, not really flirty, but very small, very cold, and very giggly.]

[fightingdirty]

"Oh, is this your slice of bumfuck nowhere?" she asks. "No wonder it smells like pig shit." Said with no small amount of good humor. Lena tends to gravitate towards loud-mouthed assholes so they can spend their time obnoxiously raising their voices and swapping stories about dumb shit they've done. And no one has dumb shit stories like Asher.

She pauses to take a drink before adding, "On my way to Skyhold, but got caught up in this endless fucking rain instead."

Rydia | Final Fantasy IV (Post TAY)

[blessedmaiden]

1.
Rydia never disliked rain and mud so much before, even when she was in her world all seemed... okay, mostly because she had people helping her out when the weather was too unpleasant in her village and in the Feymarch she had no rain at all. Now? The summoner was covered with wet clothes and dirt, busy trying to pull a large barrel out of a puddle of mud. Without success.

"To think I used to adore dwarves more than anything else..."

She wanted to help, that's true, she always offered her support whenever she could but Rydia was starting to regret her choice. Ugh, she could feel even her underwear being totally soaked, it was just so unpleasant! "Come on..." Another pull with all her strenght and instead ot moving the container out of the mud she managed to fall face down in it.

"Okay... I need help."

4.

Taverns weren't exactly a place where Rydia loved to be: people were usually loud, smelly and, sometimes, flirty, all things she didn't appreciate too much. The woman usually avoided large groups unless she had some difficult mission to deal with but after a long day in the mud collecting heavy crates the promise of a warm drink (Nothing with alcohol, she wasn't going to poison herself. Ugh, she couldn't understand those strange habits) had been enough to lure her out of her room.

Wrapped in a warm, beije robe that covered her from neck to toe and only smelt 'bad' but not 'too bad to stand near you' that was gently provided by one of her roommates she was just... there. Sitting on a stool and waiting for her warm milk. What a glorious life.

5. Wildcard for everyone!

[gatheringstorm]

The warning is helpful, of course, and since Korrin needs a bit before she can activate Fade Step again, she'll just dart away without use of magic for the time being. The toxic dust cloud is well-avoided while it lasts, Korrin switching to her magic as she triggers an explosion of flame underneath the bear, provoking an enraged roar.

"Well, let's see; red lyrium jutting out of the ground, Red Templars enslaving people, breeding grounds to eradicate...and we're out of good northern brews. But admit it, you just couldn't stay away from me." Winking, Korrin then blasts at the bear with her staff, now treating this more like playtime than an annoyance. Funny how good company can completely shift one's mood.

[enasalin]

Danae would be a poor scout if she didn't pay attention to the details around her, and the bird call is no exception. It's familiar, of course, as is the type of bird in question. She's seen the bird while heading into or out of Skyhold, enough to know that it's likely Ellana. Grateful for the company, Danae twitters cheerfully back. She renews her efforts, wanting to land in out of the rain as soon as possible. The specific location matters less than shelter, at the moment.

[serannas]

Now that Ellana's caught up, she keeps up the hard pace in order to get to someplace warm and dry as fast as possible. Knowing she's not out flying alone helps. Were something to happen to her out here, she has someone who can help.

But thankfully Skyhold is close by, and as they fly above the front gate, Ellana veers for the stables and barn. They're close, there's a roof; what's not to like? Once inside she lowers to the ground, at which point she shifts back to elf with the customary smoke and lightning that accompanies a shift.

[fightingdirty]

"Excuses, excuses," she says, slicing at the bear's front paw and twirling back out of the way. She risks a smile over at Korrin, because the bear needs a moment before it can see again.

"Is that where you got the new armor? Nice. I wouldn't mind killing a dragon myself. These piece of shit boots of mine are falling apart. I could get dragon scale boots." Then she falls silent, creeping up behind the bear in her shitty but still stealthy boots, before slamming her daggers down into its back.

[hlif]

"They're pedigree pigs, d'you have any idea how much the bastards cost?" Don't even ask, he's still ashamed that he could actually recite that after going with his dad to pick them up as a small boy so he'd be out from under his mother's feet for a while at least. Look, this is Asher's home, technically, so he's going to defend it because only he can talk shit about it. "Besides, you're in Ferelden, the official story is that it smells like dog shit on account of us being secretly part mabari."

Somehow his pint makes it to the bar from the annoyed looking barman and well fuck you, no tips for arseholes, welcome to the real world jackass. "Don't be a baby, a little rain never hurt anyone, s'good for you, stops you from getting soft as a Free Marcher. If you want a companion though I'm heading back up as well with a load of supplies, trip home to get some space ended up being a whole...thing." And he shrugs, grinning even though it hurts as he takes a gulp of his drink, still black and blue and bloodied all over.

[fightingdirty]

"I never got that," she answers. "Grew up in north Ferelden, but apparently when you look like an ox, they skip right past the dog comparisons." Being called an ox only bothers her because it's not even creative. Put a little effort into it, or don't fucking bother.

"The rain's only bothering me because my boots are pieces of shit and falling apart. I can barely walk in the damn things. I just slide instead." But now she gives him an intrigued look. "Got any Vashoth-sized boots in your supplies?" The fact that he looks beat to the Void and back? Not surprising in the least.

[gatheringstorm]

Once the cloud clears, Korrin blurs forward again and slices at the bear's side with her spirit blade, this time cutting in deep. Taking advantage of that, she'll keep her assault relentless to wear it down all the faster. Between herself and Lena, it won't last long. They're Valo-Kas, and the best at what they do.

"If you're here to stay, I can make it my 'welcome to the Inquisition' present. I still have some left over. At least if you did your part and brought some decent brews along with you." Maraas-lok care packages were nice, but it's actually not Korrin's favorite. She just requests it for the amusement value that comes of watching people take their first sip and as a sleep aid for those who need it.

[enasalin]

Following Ellana to the stables, because why not, Danae circles once before landing and resuming her usual shape. At least the stables are currently empty, so they're not startling anyone. Straightening, she shakes the rain out of her cropped red-gold hair and flashes a warm grin. The weather may be gloomy, but it dampens her spirits not at all.

"It feels so good to back on my own two feet again! That was one long stretch to fly, but the idea of drying off in Skyhold instead of spending the night in a dank cave was too much to resist. Were you on your way back too, or just catching the sights?"

[hlif]

"Because we're human, being lazy is why you and I have jobs in the first place because other people hire us to do the things they actually could do themselves if they could be arsed to really do it. We're just lucky that we're big enough and ugly enough that we can argue a fairer price for it than a lot of others." That an elf handles the financial arrangements for Asher's crew is no secret, what is less well-known to those that aren't friends because employers generally don't really go beyond what they see with their own two eyes is that the other woman that goes along with her has elf blood running in her veins beneath her very human looking face.

Tut tut tut Lena. With a speculative scratch of his beard, he leans back, and it speaks to the fact that he's really hurting that he has to hold the bar with one hand to make sure he doesn't pitch right back out of his seat to get a decent look at her feet. "Might do actually. I was up at the hold with that side of the family, they threw in a whole bunch of shit, wasn't really for the Inquisition exactly, more of a 'why the fuck are you in our mountains lowlanders' sort of thing' y'know? Think it's meant to be a reminder that the Frostbacks are still occupied so you might just be in luck. If Avvar boots don't offend, I don't know what the Vashoth girls are into these days, Korrin Ataash is meant to be into girls with green hands so there you go."

[serannas]

Ellana's hair is in a braid, and she twists it around her hand to squeeze the water out of it. Though she isn't in as bright a mood as Danae, she still returns the grin with a soft smile.

"On my way back, but I was just out for the day. I was scouting further down the mountain for mudslides, to see if any paths had been washed out. Luckily none so far, and none in danger that I could see, so I don't have to rush off to make a report. Where did you go that you're just now returning?"

A Wild Blackwall Appears!

[scalethewall]

III
The steep rise in soldiers around the Hinterlands hadn't escaped Blackwall's notice. The few locals he spoke to had told him they were Inquisition forces, but rumors about what their true intentions were was more muddied. Naturally, he was wary of them, keeping to the more remote areas of the Hinterlands. Despite being off the beaten path, there seemed to be no shortage of people who needed help in this constant rain.

No shortage of people needing help, and no shortage of bears.

The traveler, who seemed to be struggling up a muddy slope, was easy to spot, though through the rain it was difficult to tell whether it was an armed bandit or a farmer. The hulking bear hadn't been so easy, the beast almost seemed to take shape as it emerged from the trees only yards from the person.

"Hey!" Blackwall tried to get their attention. For the moment it didn't matter who the person was, instinctively breaking into a jog in their direction and pulling out his sword, "Bear!"

IV
These were exactly the kind of places he tried to avoid. Taverns were full of people who talked too much, people who pried and tried to figure you out. His gambeson had been soaked through for three days straight though and getting a fire started outside had proved impossible, not to mention most of the drier caves were now occupied by rather grumpy bears. So, here he was. The tankard of ale didn't exactly seem unwelcome however.

V
[Choose your own adventure. He's damp, but, as always, he's quick to help anyone who seems to be in need of it. I'm assuming he hasn't joined the Inquisition yet, so he'll be a little cautious, but curious around them. BUT if anyone wants assumed CR for TDM fun times just let me know and I can switch things up and assume he is part of the Inquisition etc.]

[enasalin]

"The Storm Coast. I know, right? Constant rain, and I return here to this." Danae gestures to persistent rain outside the barn, already forming large puddles. "There's been darkspawn activity on the surface and Red Templars have taken an old dwarven port, so it's been...busy. I'm really glad I picked a wren, you know. Ravens are suspicious these days, but a tiny bird like that? No one notices."