crystal malfunction memevent

[faderifting]

crystals get fucked
(a meme slash tiny game event)

The Inquisition’s sending crystals are typically very reliable and not susceptible to accidental transmissions or misdelivered messages. They’re also fairly limited in function and security.

The latter is something that researchers in Skyhold are working to address, when they have the time. Unfortunately, one of them—maybe a little angry about having to work alone on First Day, maybe day drinking while she does so—has now made some significant errors while meddling with proposed improvements. And from the beginning of the day on Wintermarch 1, the sending crystals will start behaving badly:

Messages might transmit to the wrong person.

Messages might transmit to the right person but also a few additional unintended people.

Messages might transmit to everyone at once.

Pieces of old conversations from any point in the last year or so might leak, either to individuals or to everyone. Delayed messages of that sort will sound distant, like they’re coming from the end of a long tunnel.

Attempts to transition from a public to a private conversation will sometimes fail.

Crystals may start transmitting to people or to everyone at random, without being touched.

All of this could occur at any time—sometimes at the beginning of a conversation, sometimes midway through it, sometimes when someone isn’t using the crystal at all.

The problems will start out sporadic enough to seem insignificant or like probable user errors, but grow increasingly common as the day wears on, until the issue is identified and corrected at Skyhold in the early hours of Wintermarch 2 and the tipsy researcher disciplined accordingly.

This meme/event is game canon. You can decide among yourselves if there’s something you would rather try out for fun with no consequences and/or retcon after the fact, as always, but unless otherwise established by players, this is really happening. Threads done in this post can count toward activity rewards.

Additionally, this specific post is for open top-levels that anyone can tag and threadjack. Think TFLN in style/format, missing pants optional. Don’t post closed or locked conversations here. If you want to do specific misfires with specific people, you can use inboxes. You can also post to the rookery comm if you want to use the event for a more visible gamewide open post.

Comments

to everyone

[bouchonne]

My heart does ache at the memory of you without your clothes.

[onlyhymns]

wh......what???

[bouchonne]

[ Hm? Well, this is odd. But - best roll with it. ]

What - you don't remember it?

[onlyhymns]

[BUT HE'S SO CAREFUL,]

no??????

a failed attempt at privacy, of course

[coquettish_trees]

[ sounding hoarse and weepy and awful: ]

This is hardly the fucking time.

[bouchonne]

[ Ah. Hm. Well, on the one hand - this hadn't been meant for her. But on the other, he cannot help but think that this would become worse if he told her that. ]

So when would be a good time?

[hwaaaitsme]

Gods be damned, are you entirely serious?

[On his crystal, in front of his breakfast. How dare you all.]

Would you two kindly take this elsewhere!?

[coquettish_trees]

[ Really it's worse no matter what!

Snapped rather viciously: ]

Oh, let us see, next weekend perhaps, I seem to have cleared both bed and social calendar. Bring flowers.

[keenly]

I doubt it, somehow.

[bouchonne]

And why is that?

[keenly]

I haven’t been naked in Doesn’t matter. What room are you staying in?

[And are there any holes in the wall between it and Colin’s room? Just checking for reasons.]

[arlathvhen]

I beg your pardon.

[bouchonne]

[ More enunciated - ]

My heart aches at the memory of you sans clothes.

[arlathvhen]

Thank you for clarifying. I would simply love to know where you acquired such a memory in the first place.

[ Surely she would remember lowering her high (ha) and lofty (ha ha) standards in the recent past. ]

[elegiaque]

( suspiciously, )

Have you been at the Asgards?

[bouchonne]

Whatever do you mean?

[elegiaque]

What did you mean?

[divineshadow]

Explain yourself.

[bouchonne]

Well - you know what nudity is.

[divineshadow]

Yes, [impatiently.] Say why it causes you such longing.

[sarcophage]

Does it?

[directed away:] Are you certain this one's mine? [a muffled response.] Well, it's just said it remembers my naked body, or something—I'm not, it really did.

[bouchonne]

I, the crystal, do indeed remember your most shapely form. How pleasing it was to the eye - even the eye of a crystal.

[sarcophage]

Well, crystal, as I've only just arrived, your eyesight must be extraordinary.

Is it normally like this?

i know i need to be tagging you elsewhere instead but nO

[cozen]

The learned men in Orlais call it indigestion. You might try avoiding rich foods and wine before bed.

this is perfect

[bouchonne]

Dear fellow. You know perfectly well that I strenuously avoiding eating before wine.